Friday, April 1, 2011

Disney's "The Jungle Book" provides the soundtrack to YOUR drug addiction!

Mowgli seems to be coming down from something

Hello, kids!

If your enthusiasm for classic Walt Disney movies is matched only by your enthusiasm for narcotics, then you will be delighted by the following discovery! The studio's beloved 1967 film, The Jungle Book, is a marvelous bit of musical entertainment for the whole family, of course, but its songs also function perfectly as the soundtrack to any kind of drug use or addiction. Whether you're just a casual pothead or a strung-out junkie, The Jungle Book has a song that's right for you.

Let's take a look...

1. Pot.

Song: "The Bare Necessities"

Reason: It should be obvious. In this song, Balloo is essentially Mowgli's stoner college roommate and urges him to, like, not work so hard and just enjoy life, man. The anthem of everyone who's ever spent an enjoyable day lazing on the couch scarfing down Cheetos between bong hits instead of studying for the SATs or working on a resume.

Druggiest lyric: "So just try and... relax! Yeah! Cool it! Fall apart in my back yard."

2. Cocaine.

Song: "I Wanna Be Like You"

Reason: King Louie's manic self-aggrandizement, aggression, and paranoia in this song suggest that perhaps he was enjoying a "toot" or two between takes. I mean, where is he getting all that energy? Bananas? I don't think so. Listen to what Louie is saying to Mowgli in this song and then imagine a coked-up 1980s businessman saying the exact same stuff.

Druggiest lyric: "What I desire is man's red fire to make my dreams come true!"

3. Heroin.

Song: "Trust In Me"

Reason: This is the closest thing in The Jungle Book to a Velvet Underground song. With its burned-out, too-cool-to-care vibe, "Trust in Me" emphasizes both the seductiveness of heroin and also the overwhelming dependence of the junkie. ("Trust in me, just in me," goes the refrain.) And the singer of this particular song, Kaa the snake, clearly had the "heroin chic" look way before it became popular.

Druggiest lyric: "Slip into silent slumber. Sail on a silver mist. Slowly and surely your senses will cease to exist."

4. Barbiturates and other pills.

Song: "That's What Friends Are For"

Reason: Maybe you're a traditionalist, and you want to go the Judy Garland/"happy pills" route. Life can get awfully stressful, so occasionally you reach out for your oldest and dearest friends -- i.e. the ones who come in easy-to-swallow capsule form and who are always right next to you on the nightstand. Just like the vultures in this movie, your pill friends will "pluck you up when you are down," and they're sure to be with you right up to "the bitter end."

Druggiest lyric: "And when you're outside looking in, who's there to open the door? That's what friends are for!"

P.S. - If you're into LSD or other psychedelics, might I suggest the following? It's a pretty song with a mellow, spacey vibe you might enjoy.

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