|Gratuitous profanity courtesy of me watching a bunch of Jenna Marbles videos in a row.|
Faster than a speeding life coach! More powerful than your high school guidance counselor! Able to leap tall problems in a single session! Look! Up in the sky! It's a therapist! It's an advice columnist! It's Superman! Strange visitor from another planet who came to Earth with profundities and insights far beyond those of mortal men! Superman, who can change the course of wayward lives! Bend wills with a stern glare! And who, while maintaining his role as a costumed crusader, decided that the best way to truly help humanity was to tell people what they needed to hear instead of what they wanted to hear! Maybe then they can help themselves for a change!