Wednesday, July 27, 2016

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Collaborator Odyssey, Part Five by Greg Dziawer

Eddie Or Not: Was this lusty Hustler paperback penned by Ed Wood?

Dick Trent. Occasionally Richard Trent.

The obsessive Woodologist will certainly recognize this as one of Edward D. Wood, Jr.'s most frequently-used pseudonyms, in a class with the sublime Shirlee Lane. Shirlee/Shirley was also Ed's drag persona... and in a far-fetched thought-experiment of mine, Shirley was the name of his high school sweetheart, the girl whose sweater he wore for the first time and to whom he lost his virginity.
"Shirley wore a fuzzy green angora sweater with a matching green skirt. She had on knee-length white stretch socks which ended in green and white, low heeled shoes. The more young Charlie looked at her clothes, dug his fingers into the soft fur of her sweater at the shoulders, the more he craved wearing the things himself."
-excerpt from Ed Wood's Drag Trade (1967)

It's easy to get lost in Shirley. Take these passages from the short story "Baiting Millie," as published in Hellcats, vol. 2,  no. 3, from July/August 1973, credited to Edw. D. Wood, Jr.:
Artwork for "Baiting Millie."
". . . then there was Shirley . . . . It was a bar pickup . . . but not one which might cause distress between either party . . . . Shirley was a delight to watch as she swayed in her miniskirt . . . she never simply walked, she had a rhythm which could only be classed as swaying . . . . Millie almost let her hand go up under her skirt and masturbate herself right there in the bar when she saw that swaying fanny . . . " 
"...the light tapping came on the locked cubicle door and the little voice asked to come in and Millie was shocked, but she opened the door and there was the exotically beautiful Shirley and Shirley told her that she would do that for her, only she didn't use her finger, she sank down on the toilet seat and inserted her tongue . . . ." 
". . . Shirley was killed in a street accident when absentmindedly she went against the light at an intersection when she was racing to catch her bus across the street . . . it broke Millie's heart and she cried for a week, and she didn't get to her job for a week, illness, a death in the family . . . she wouldn't be fired . . . they depended upon her too much . . . then there was Sharon . . . the luscious Sharon who swayed when she walked . . . she didn't just walk, she swayed with each step . . . she glided . . . she was so much like Shirley . . . . "

Friday, July 22, 2016

John Waters' Mondo Trasho: The Soundtrack (updated for 2017)

Divine carries Mary Vivian Pearce in this ad for John Waters' "gutter film," Mondo Trasho.


Little Richard, the film's patron saint.
After several years of making experimental short films like Hag in a Black Leather Jacket and Eat Your Makeup in the mid-to-late 1960s, Baltimore filmmaker John Waters finally took the feature-length plunge in 1969 with his dreamlike, almost plotless epic Mondo Trasho. But in those days, Waters was operating on such a low budget that he couldn't even afford to record synchronized sound as he was filming. His first full-length talkie, Multiple Maniacs, was released in 1970, a full 43 years after The Jazz Singer. But just because Mondo Trasho was shot silently, that doesn't mean it's a silent film. In fact, the 95-minute comedy has an incredible soundtrack pieced together a few seconds at a time from records in John Waters' personal music collection. The trouble was, he never got permission to use any of this stuff, meaning that Mondo Trasho has never seen legitimate release on DVD or any digital format. It never will.

The range of music used in Mondo Trasho is stunning. Waters clearly has an ear for rock and R&B, stuff recorded back when the music was raw and vital. Little Richard, Chuck Berry, Jerry Lee Lewis, Elvis Presley, James Brown, and Ike and Tina Turner are all represented here. In fact, Little Richard, Brown, and the Turners can be said to dominate the soundtrack. But Waters uses plenty of classical and operatic music, too. Among the composers who unwittingly contributed to Mondo Trasho: Mozart, Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, and Wagner. And then there are total oddities, like Lyda Roberti's "Take a Number From One to Ten" and Mae West's "Treat 'Em Right." And who can classify such recordings as "Visage" by Luciano Berio?

I've been fascinated with Mondo Trasho's soundtrack for the last twenty years, and I've spent plenty of time in used record stores and online forums trying to identify each and every last scrap of music used in the film. Now, I'm happy to say that I have assembled a list that is as complete as I can make it at this time. I've published various versions of my Mondo Trasho soundtrack over the years, but this one makes all others obsolete.

A few notes before we begin. I have decided to catalog every distinct bit of audio that I can detect in Mondo Trasho. This includes occasional sound effects and instances of so-called "wild track" dialogue recorded by Waters and his actors, including Divine, Mink Stole, Pat Moran, and David Lochary. You will notice that many of the songs are repeated, some multiple times. Waters generally uses "Slow Walk" and "Come Go With Me" for the film's many traveling scenes, for instance. A siren and some gunshots from "Riot in Cell Block 9" are heard over and over again as well, as are some strange bleeps and bloops from "Flying Saucer (Parts 1 & 2)" by Buchanan & Goodman. I have tried to denote those instances in which a live version of a song is used. The items printed in red are the last few stragglers, the pieces I still cannot identify fully. Corrections, comments, suggestions, and additions are more than welcome.

That being said, let's have some fun.
Crucial Update for 2017: Well, ladies and gentlemen, the day of reckoning has arrived. A John Waters superfan named Tyler Henry has compiled a downloadable 110-track playlist of every piece of  music in Mondo Trasho. And, bless my soul, I think he's managed to track down every last scrap of audio in the film. Tyler talks all about the project in this Facebook post. After all these years, it would appear that the hunt for Mondo Trasho music is now complete. For posterity's sake, I've updated my playlist to reflect these new findings.

Prologue/Opening Credits
  • "Jack the Ripper" - Link Wray And His Ray-Men
Bonnie Walks to the Bus Stop and Rides the Bus
  • "Short Shorts" - The Royal Teens
  • "Life Savers Girl (from Mondo Cane)" - Riz Ortolani
  • "Pomp and Circumstance, March No. I" - Sir Edward Elgar
  • "Jambalaya (On the Bayou)" - Jo Stafford
In the Park
  • "I'm Following You" - The Duncan Sisters
  • "I Want You, I Need You, I Love You" - Elvis Presley
  • "Sitting In the Park" - Billy Stewart
  • Donizetti: Anna Bolena, Act II: "Piangete voi?" - Maria Callas
  • "Strangers in the Night" - Frank Sinatra
  • "Little Bitty Pretty One" - Thurston Harris
The Shrimping
  • Bloch: "Sonata for Violin and Piano (1920): III. Moderato" - Isaac Stern and Alexander Zakin
  • "Hot Diggity (Dog Ziggity Boom)" - Perry Como
  • "It's Almost Like Being In Love (live)" - Judy Garland
  • "See You Later, Alligator" - Bill Haley and His Comets
  • "Ricochet (Rick-O-Shay)" - Teresa Brewer
Divine Enters in the El Dorado Cadillac
  • "Long Tall Sally (live)" - Little Richard
  • "Bachianas Brasileiras No. 5." -Heitor Villa-Lobos
  • "Tutti Fruitti (live)" - Little Richard
  • "Bachianas Brasileiras No. 5." -Heitor Villa-Lobos
  • "The Girl Can't Help It (live)" - Little Richard
  • "Bachianas Brasileiras No. 5." -Heitor Villa-Lobos
  • "Long Tall Sally (sax solo)" - Little Richard
  • "Bachianas Brasileiras No. 5." -Heitor Villa-Lobos
The Car Accident
  • "Treat 'Em Right" - Mae West
  • "Riot in Cell Block 9" - The Robins
  • "Treat 'Em Right" - Mae West
  • "Bachianas Brasileiras No. 5." -Heitor Villa-Lobos
  • "Treat 'Em Right" - Mae West
  • "Bachianas Brasileiras No. 5." -Heitor Villa-Lobos
  • "Treat 'Em Right" - Mae West
  • "Leader of the Pack" - The Shangri-Las
  • Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, First Movement
  • "Remember (Walking in the Sand)" - The Shangri-Las
  • "Strange Things Happen" - James Brown
On the Run with an Unconscious Girl
  • "I Want You To Be My Girl" - Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers
  • "It Only Hurts For a Little While" - The Ames Brothers
  • "I Want You To Be My Girl" - Frankie Lymon and the Teenagers
  • "Riot in Cell Block 9"- The Robins
  • "No Particular Place to Go" - Chuck Berry
  • "I'm a Lonesome Fugitive" - Jerry Lee Lewis
  • "Come Go With Me" - The Del-Vikings
  • "Two Faces Have I" - Lou Christie
Shoplifting Shoes from the Thrift Store
  • "Finger Poppin' (live)" - Ike and Tina Turner
  • "Riot In Cell Block 9" - The Robins
  • "Come Go With Me" - The Del-Vikings
  • "The Girl Can't Help It (live)" - Little Richard
  • "Come Go With Me" - The Del-Vikings
  • "Night Train (live)" - James Brown
  • "Slow Walk" - Sil Austin
  • "Marche Slav" - Tchaikovsky
The Laundromat and the First Miracle
  • "Under the Moon of Love" - Curtis Lee
  • "Poor Fool" - Ike and Tina Turner
  • "Rite of Spring" - Igor Stravinsky
  • "Holy Holy Holy" - Alan Dean (from Songs of Faith LP)
  • Monologue by Divine
  • Sound effect: bells ringing
  • "Holy Holy Holy" - Alan Dean 
  • "The Girl Can't Help It (live) - Little Richard
  • "The Angels Listened In" - The Crests
  • "You Turn Me On" - Mae West
  • "Slow Walk" - Sil Austin
The Cadillac is Stolen
  • "Rip It Up" - Elvis Presley
  • "Slow Walk" - Sil Austin
  • "Riot In Cell Block 9" - The Robins
  • "Treat 'Em Right" - Mae West
  • "Remember (Walking in the Sand)" - The Shangri-Las
  • "Oh Lonesome Me" - Don Gibson
  • "Waddle, Waddle" - The Bracelets
  • "Slow Walk" - Sil Austin
  • "It's Almost Like Being In Love (live)" - Judy Garland
  • "Slow Walk" - Sil Austin
Mink Stole/Mental Hospital Dragnet
  • "Visage (for tape)" - Luciano Berio and Cathy Berbarian
  • "Riot in Cell Block 9" - The Robins
  • "I Got Stung" - Elvis Presley
  • Puccini: "Tosca: Presto, su! Mario!" - Renato Tebaldi
  • "I Almost Lost My Mind" - Pat Boone
  • "Remember (Walking in the Sand)" - The Shangri-Las
  • "Riot in Cell Block 9" - The Robins
  • "Combination of the Two" - Big Brother and The Holding Company
  • "Tell The Truth (sax solo)" - Ike and Tina Turner
  • "Riot In Cell Block 9" - The Robins
  • Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, First Movement
  • "I Got Stung" - Elvis Presley
The Mental Hospital/Mink's Topless Dance
  • "We're Off to See the Wizard" - The Wizard of Oz Cast (Judy Garland and Ray Bolger)
  • "Visage" - Luciano Berio and Cathy Berberian
  • "I Feel A Song Coming On (Live at the Palace)" - Judy Garland 
  • "Keep Your Hands Off My Baby" - Little Eva
  • "Visage" - Luciano Berio and Cathy Berberian
  • "Take a Number From One to Ten" - Lyda Roberti
  • Fats Gonder's intro to James Brown 'Live' at the Apollo
  • Take A Number From One to Ten" - Lyda Roberti
  • "What'd I Say (Parts 1 and 2) (live)" - Ray Charles
The Second Miracle: Escape from the Snake Pit
  • "Holy Holy Holy" - Alan Dean
  • Monologue by Divine
  • Sound effect: bells ringing
  • "Holy Holy Holy" - Alan Dean
  • "The Angels Listened In" - The Crests
  • "Earth Angel" - The Penguins
  • "Flying Saucer (Parts 1 and 2)" - Buchanan and Goodman
  • "I'm Blue (The Gong Gong Song)" - The Ikettes
  • "Tutti Fruitti (live)" - Little Richard
  • "Ready Teddy (guitar solo)" - Elvis Presley
  • "Come Go With Me" - The Del-Vikings
  • "Slow Walk" - Sil Austin
  • "634-5789 (Soulsville U.S.A.)" - Wilson Pickett
  • Sound effect: phone ringing
  • Dialogue by Pat Moran and Divine
Getting to the Doctor and Robbing the Cab
  • "Slow Walk" - Sil Austin (overlaid with Divine yelling, "Taxi! Taxi!")
  • "Woo-Hoo" - The Rock-A-Teens
  • "(I Need Some) Money" - Smokey Robinson & The Miracles
  • "Life Savers Girl (from Mondo Cane)" - Riz Ortolani
  • "See You Later, Alligator" - Bill Haley & The Comets
  • "Come Go With Me" - The Del-Vikings
In the Doctor's Waiting Room
  • "Black And Tan Fantasy" - David Rose And His Orchestra
  • "You Tickle Me Baby" - The Royal Jokers
  • Excerpt from Justine, or the Misfortune of Virtue by the Marquis de Sade (from 1966 recording) - "Help! Help, someone!"
  • "Riot in Cell Block 9" - The Robins
  • Excerpt from Justine, or the Misfortune of Virtue by the Marquis de Sade
  • Sound effect: whistle
  • "Comedians Gallop" - Kabalevsky
  • "Remember (Walking in the Sand)" - The Shangri-Las
  • Excerpt from Justine, or the Misfortune of Virtue by the Marquis de Sade
  • "Rumble" - Link Wray
  • "Coronation March" - Giacomo Meyerbeer
  • "Rumble" - Link Wray
  • Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, First Movement
Dr. Coat Hanger's Dreadful Experiments
  • "Trouble (live from 1968 comeback special)" - Elvis Presley 
  • "Jenny, Jenny (live - stage patter)" - Little Richard
  • Dialogue and narration from Justine, or the Misfortune of Virtue by the Marquis De Sade
    WOMAN: These monsters are going to use me in one of their dreadful medical experiments! 
    MAN: Care for a girl? Ha ha. My dear fellow, I thought you knew me better than that! Ha! My extreme taste for certain pleasures causes me to sacrifice at whatever altars are available. And I often imagine that a girl is actually a boy and use her accordingly.
    SECOND MAN: Let me inspect your veins.
  • "True Fine Mama (live -stage patter)" - Little Richard
  • "Fantasie in F Minor, KV 608" - Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
  • "Flying Saucer (Parts 1 & 2)" - Buchanan & Goodman
  • "Dr. Feelgood" - Aretha Franklin
  • "(You've Got) The Magic Touch" - The Platters
  • "Flying Saucer (Parts 1 & 2)" - Buchanan & Goodman
  • "Remember (Walking in the Sand)" - The Shangri-Las
  • "Come Go With Me" - The Del-Vikings (overlaid with monologue by John Waters)
Shootout in the Waiting Room
  • "Riot in Cell Block 9" - The Robins
  • "Blue Moon" - The Marcels
  • "Get A Job" - The Silhouettes
  • "Western Movies" - The Olympics
  • "Oh, Baby, Don't You Weep (Live - Royal Theater)" - James Brown
  • "He's So Fine" - The Chiffons
  • "Get a Job" - The Silhouettes
  • "Western Movies" - The Olympics
  • "Please Please Please (live at Royal Theater)" - James Brown
  • "Get a Job" - The Silhouettes
  • "Western Movies" - The Olympics
  • "Get a Job" - The Silhouettes 
  • "Blue Moon" - The Marcels 
  • "Get a Job" - The Silhouettes 
  • "Blue Moon" - The Marcels 
  • "Get a Job" - The Silhouettes 
  • "Blue Moon" - The Marcels 
  • "Get a Job" - The Silhouettes 
  • "Blue Moon" - The Marcels 
  • "Get a Job" - The Silhouettes 
  • "Blue Moon" - The Marcels 
  • "A Fool for You (live in Texas)" - Ike and Tina Turner
  • "Get a Job" - The Silhouettes 
  • "Western Movies" - The Olympics 
  • "Get a Job" - The Silhouettes 
  • "Riot in Cell Block 9" - The Robins (lyrics used for the first time)
Bonnie in Peril!
  • "Along Came Jones" - The Coasters
  • "A Fool for You" - Ike and Tina Turner
  • "Along Came Jones" - The Coasters
  • "I'm Moving On" - Ray Charles
  • Beethoven's Fifth Symphony, First Movement
  • "Love at First Sight" - Roddy Jackson
  • "Remember (Walking in the Sand") - The Shangri-Las
  • "Bertha Lou" - Clint Miller
On the Run with Dr. Coat Hanger
  • "Come Go With Me" - The Del-Vikings
  • "Mars, Bringer of War" - Gustav Holst
  • "Don't Let the Stars Get in Your Eyes" - Perry Como
  • "Rescue Me" - Fontella Bass
  • "I Feel Good" - Shirley and Lee
  • "Lollipop" - The Chordettes
  • "I Feel Good" - Shirley and Lee
  • "A Letter From Tina" - Ike and Tina Turner
  • "Angel Baby" - Rosie and the Originals
  • "Kansas City" - Wilbert Harrison
  • "All I Could Do Was Cry" -Ike and Tina Turner
  • "A Letter From Tina" - Ike and Tina Turner
  •  "I Feel Good" - Shirley and Lee
  • "Goodbye to Love" - The Marcels
They're a Twosome Again/In the Pigsty
  • "Rumble" - Link Wray
  • "Ride of the Valkyries" - Wagner
  • "Holy Holy Holy" - Alan Dean
  • "Flying Saucer (Parts 1 & 2)" - Buchanan & Goodman
  • "Catulli Carmina: Chorus/Actus I" - Carl Orff
  • "Maybe" - The Chantels
  • "(You've Got) The Magic Touch" - The Platters
  • "Flying Saucer (Parts 1 & 2)" - Buchanan & Goodman
Back to Reality, Such as it Is
  • "Here I Stand" - The Rip Chords
  • "Going Out of My Head" - Little Anthony and the Imperials
  • "Surfin' Bird" - The Trashmen
  • "(You've Got) The Magic Touch" - The Platters
  • "Flying Saucer (Parts 1 & 2)" - Buchanan & Goodman
  • Dialogue by Mink Stole and David Lochary
  • "Whole Lotta Shaking Going On" - Jerry Lee Lewis 

Mink Stole (left) and Mimi Lochary in Mondo Trasho.

As a little bonus, here is a transcription of the dialogue between the two gossipy ladies played by Mink Stole and Mimi Lochary at the end of the film. Mink provides her own, post-dubbed voice, but Mimi's lines are done by her son, David. In this scene, the two ladies stand at a bus sop and pass judgment on Mary Vivian Pearce's character, who has just materialized in front of them.

LADY 1: Is that a boy or a girl? 
LADY 2: Is it a faggot? 
LADY 1: It's a dyke. 
LADY 2: No, it's a hippie.
LADY 1: A communist? 
LADY 2: Perhaps it's a drag queen. 
LADY 1: Or a wash rag queen. 
LADY 2: It's probably a speed freak. 
LADY 1: Or a pothead. 
LADY 2: Or a muffin queen. 
LADY 1: Look at her. It's just a whore. 
LADY 2: Or maybe a gold digger. 
LADY 1: She's a hustler. 
LADY 2: Yeah, or some sort of intellectual. 
LADY 1: She's probably a rimmer. 
LADY 2: Hmmm. Maybe a speed freak. 
LADY 1: A chicken queen. 
LADY 2: Or a shrimp freak. 
LADY 1: But, but it could be a narc. 
LADY 2: Yeah, or maybe a beatnik. 
LADY 1: Or a junkie. 
LADY 2: Yes or an acid-head. 
LADY 1: Or a spade. 
LADY 2: Or just a gigolo. 
LADY 1: Just a flower child. 
LADY 2: Yeah, a shit-kicker. 
LADY 1: Or a red. 
LADY 2: Yeah, or a glamour girl. 
LADY 1: Maybe she's some just sort of snob. 
LADY 2: Yeah. Maybe just some Polack. 
LADY 1: Or a warmonger. 
LADY 2: Yeah or an S&M queen. 
LADY 1: Oh, it's just a teenager. 
LADY 2: Yeah, maybe it's one of those Hell's Angels. 
LADY 1: You think it's a baby butch? 
LADY 2: It could be a fag hag. 
LADY 1: Or maybe it's a b-girl. 
LADY 2: Yeah, or a closet queen.  
LADY 1: A hair hopper. 
LADY 2: Yeah, maybe a movie star. 
LADY 1: Well, she's a dropout of some sort.  
LADY 2: Yeah. What is that word? Uh, dingleberry. 
LADY 1: Or a draft dodger.  
LADY 2: Yeah, or maybe just a runaway.  
LADY 1: Or some sort of, you know, peacenik. 
LADY 2: Yeah, or a hooker. 
LADY 1: Or she's one of those Yippies.  
LADY 2: Mmmm. Maybe it's one of those jet-setters. 
LADY 1: But I'll bet it's just a whore. 
LADY 2: Yeah, or maybe a dinge queen. 
LADY 1: A rimmer. 
LADY 2: Yeah, or a size queen. 
LADY 1: A hustler. 
LADY 2: Oh, she makes me sick. 
LADY 1: Whore. 

(Having heard enough, Pearce's character clicks her heels together, a la Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, and magically disappears.)

LADY 2: What is that? 
LADY 1: Oh my god! Isn't that disgusting? 
LADY 2: Let's wait for the bus somewhere else! 
LADY 1: This whole thing has just made me sick. 
LADY 2: Me, too. Let's move up here. Maybe we can wait for the bus in peace.

(They walk to the next corner as the film ends.)

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Erotica Odyssey, Part Two by Greg Dziawer

Somehow, "Swish Erotica" doesn't have the same ring to it. You gotta have ED.

Constance Waarren's Hot Tub.

In a previous installment of Ed Wood Wednesdays, we surmised that Swedish House (1978), often listed in bibliographies of Ed's work, is in actuality not a book but a book imprint. Specifically, it was a paperback imprint under the multimedia Swedish Erotica umbrella, the porn industry behemoth that Pendulum Publishers morphed into through the '70s. By 1977, Ed was cashing paychecks from Art Publishers, Inc., publisher of Swedish Erotica books and mags, his last steady job in the final two years of his life. 

Since Woodology is never simple, there's not an obvious candidate with Ed's name or a known pseudonym on any of the covers of Swedish House paperbacks I've found thus far. We'll have to get at this from the opposite end, so let's play another round of Eddie or Not? 

The credited author on three of the (very few) Swedish House paperbacks is Constance Warren, and it's worth noting that she is not credited on the covers but only inside. The index numbers of the Warren titles comprise three of the first five of the brief run: Cabin Fever (SH-101), Hot Tub (SH-104) and Campus Lust (SH-105). All were first published in 1978, photo-illustrated with images from the endless Swedish Erotica loop series. For instance, Campus Lust, the tale of a librarian peeper, was adapted from the Swedish Erotica loop title of the same name. These paperbacks, minus the photos, were reprinted as late as 1989 under the same titles and credits and containing the identical texts. The cover price had risen a dollar by then. It's interesting to think that a dusty copy of an unknown Ed Wood book might still have been languishing on a wire rack in a sex shop by the time his legend was cemented by a Hollywood biopic in the mid-'90s.

The cover of Constance Warren's Hot Tub, a Swedish House paperback from 1978, is depicted at right. Notice the company's signature triple-dot insignia in the upper left hand corner.

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood/Dziawer Odyssey by Greg Dziawer

Me now and him then: Greg Dziaweer and Ed Wood.

PROLOGUE
The author and his dog.
I've been in a reflective mood of late, thinking about this odyssey I'm on, researching the work of Ed Wood. How did I get here, to this point of serious obsession? Why am I here and what I am getting from this experience? My mind's in a muddle.  
In this week's Ed Wood Wednesdays, please indulge me in sharing a bit of my personal journey with Ed Wood and into his Art (yeah, I said it!). 
Last spring, my mother decided to put her home and business up for sale and finally, and more-than-deservedly, retire. Past retirement age, she had continued running the mom-and-pop shop my parents took over from my grandfather, begun in 1937. Open 12 hours a day, seven days of the week. A piece of the fabric of a small and affluent community, situated on a lake. I even had an amusement park down the road a mere mile away, with a wild and rickety old roller coaster that made your teeth hurt. The last day that coaster ran was the day of my second grade field trip to the park. I rode the coaster 27 times that day, wearing a yellow T-shirt with a Saturday Night Fever glitter logo on it. The things one remembers.... 
It was a poignant moment, to say the least, when my mother placed a hand-written sign on the front door of the store and we walked away for the last time last August. THANKS FOR 43 WONDERFUL YEARS, it said, among other sentiments. My father, stricken with Alzheimer's, didn't understand what was happening. The new owner tore down the building two weeks later.  
Although I had not lived there for more than a decade, I spent the first 35 years of my life there. Earlier last summer, my mother began securing sales for pieces of the property, ultimately sold off in four lots: the store on its lot (including the apartment above it where I lived for the first three years of my first marriage, and where my father was born, in the same bedroom he last occupied when they moved out last summer); the vacant lot next to it (a house I had lived in during the latter half of my teens through my mid-twenties was torn down around 2006); a small strip of bare lakefront; and a strip of lakefront with a lengthy deck and cabana (I lived in that cabana most summers through the mid-'90s right on the water).

Wednesday, July 6, 2016

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Magazine Odyssey, Part Nine by Greg Dziawer

"Come with me and you'll be in a world of Ed Wood speculation!"

We spend a lot of time around here at Ed Wood Wednesdays talking about Ed's work and debunking claims of Ed's authorship. This week, we're shifting gears a bit, with no research-based claims for or against, and (perhaps some will see the near-blasphemous irony) sharing a couple of snippets that could be Ed's work.

As we know, the playing field of adult magazines in which Ed's work could have appeared is immense. We've previously and thus far indexed over 600 individual issues filed for copyright from 1970 through 1975 by the Pendulum family of publishers (associated imprints including Calga, SECS Press, Gallery Press, Edusex and Libra Press). Bernie Bloom incorporated Pendulum in the state of California in the spring of 1968 (meaningless trivia: two and a half weeks after yours truly was born). He and Ed left Golden State News, and Ed's work there (in both duration and volume) still remains largely undocumented. After Pendulum and Calga disappeared by 1974, followed by Gallery Press in 1976, the so-called "triple-dot" magazines appeared for a brief period before transitioning into the Swedish Erotica mags, rooted in both the infamous loop series as well as one-offs that carried a single story, largely pictures accompanied by a corresponding text.

"The Monogrammed Panties"
In all, it's possible that Ed's work could have conceivably appeared in upwards of a thousand adult magazine issues, in some form. He himself claimed a thousand stories and articles from 1963 through the latter half of the '70s. While some stories and articles were later reprinted, that's the exception. And while the current frontier of Ed's work still remains an accurate and comprehensive attribution of his stories and articles in adult magazines, there remains a new horizon on the other side of that frontier for the masochistic Woodologist. Beyond the stories and articles, largely credited even if only pseudonymously, lie the editorials, the photo captions, the texts accompanying pictorials, etc. Any and all text in the mags was written by the magazine staff, and that could have included Ed.

The pseudonyms are sometimes all we need to make an attribution. Dubiously credited to Jill Bones, for instance, the story "The Monogrammed Panties" from Gold Diggers vol 2 no 2 1970 has a suspect title, and there's plenty of incidental drinking in it, but it doesn't sound like Ed's writing style at all:
"We looked at the gib [sic] black Caddy stopped at the intersection, and sure enough, sitting in the seat behind her chauffeur was Estelle Dunn, the hottest, sexiest piece to hit Hollywood since Paula Price! Jesus! We couldn't get over it. Sitting right there! At the intersection in front of us! The most gorgeous piece of ass in Hollywood!"
Intriguingly, the titular panties are clearly monogrammed E.D. ...for Estelle Dunn. The pseudonym Jill Bones is clearly William D. "Bill" Jones, a fellow mag staffer of Ed's at Pendulum. Like Ed, he wrote his fair share of titles based upon the fabled T.K. Peters source.

In the pictorial texts, there's never a credit, and sometimes the text is so scant we'd be hard-pressed to discern a recognizable signature. Hence, past the full attribution of Ed's stories and articles, even past a comprehensive accounting of his work in 8mm porn loops, there lies the pictorial text.

Tanya from Two Girls In Paris.
The format of Two Girls in Paris vol 1 no 4 1974 from Gallery Press, solo pictorials with first-person accompanying text, would reach its zenith with the pair of Sam magazines from Gallery Press featuring solely the impossible Roberta Pedon.

In Two Girls, one of the females, Tanya, tells her story this way:
"His months of being in jail must have stored up a lot of sex in him because, I had never, up to that time, been taken like that, with such force, with such complete abandonment of any shame. And when it was finished he rolled off of me and stretched out on his back on the floor exhausted while I got up and dressed then sat on a couch until he revived. I had to wait him out. I did need a job."   
Uncredited, and we'll refrain from opining whether or not it was written by Ed. Passages of Tanya describing being taken by force are accompanied by photos of her smiling.

With more brevity, not far beyond captions, here is the text accompanying the pictorial "Natural Resources.........." (yes, I counted: 10 ellipses in all) from Male Lovers vol 3 no 3 Oct/Nov 1971:
"Naturally they pick the most rugged spots for their action because that lessens discovery even more. But other than their obvious homosexual activities the boys are great sun enthusiasts. As soon as they arrive at any of their picked spots they get undressed and just lay around letting the sun do its healthful work. Of course Chuck doesn't need a suntan. He's dark enough!"
This time, we'll refrain entirely from comment.

And we'll certainly need to continue traversing the frontier of stories and articles, picking up valuable clues along the way to leverage once we go beyond that next and final horizon: Who wrote "The Legend of Washington York"?

Monday, July 4, 2016

Two fireflies


The top panel is an unaltered Six Chix. I took the story over from there. Please imagine that the fireflies are played by Ray Liotta and Lorraine Bracco.

Saturday, July 2, 2016

Three variations on today's 'Shoe'

I liked the setup, so I kept it the way it was.

I don't know what it is with Shoe. The artwork, currently by Gary Brookins of Pluggers fame, is quite good. The basic premise (the frustrating daily lives of anthropomorphic bird people who have built a human-like society up in the trees) is serviceable. But somehow, Shoe can never quite stick the landing. Take today's strip, for instance, in which the cigar-chomping title character quizzes resident fatso Cosmo about his love life:

Were the quote marks necessary?

A Yelp joke? Yuck. That'll age like fine milk. And yet there was something about the setup ("Have you and your new girlfriend been romantic yet?") I found intriguing. So I came up with the three variations you see at the top of this article. In the first, Cosmo takes offense at Shoe's rude question and refuses to answer it. In the second, Cosmo makes a too-personal revelation, causing Shoe to look away in silent embarrassment. And in the third, Cosmo has to think for a moment before giving Shoe a disappointing answer. Take your pick. Or don't. Your choice.