Sunday, November 22, 2009

Living Impaired versus Zombies

Hello, readers.

Perhaps you have seen the following comedy routine by Chris Rock (warning - absurdly NSFW):

I use this clip to illustrate the fact that within any group, be it racial, ethnic, socioeconomic or what-have-you, there may well be deep divisions. And so it is among the living impaired. Frankly, it breaks down into two main groups: the Living Impaired and Zombies. I consider myself Living Impaired, not a Zombie. Perhaps the following guide will prove useful in determining the difference between these two distinct groups.

Living Impaired: Has a brain patch on his arm.
Zombie: Has your brains in his stomach.

Living Impaired: Speaks clearly and intelligently about a variety of topics.
Zombie: Just says "BRAAAAAAIIINNNNSSSS!!!!" a lot.

Living Impaired: Walks.
Zombie: Staggers.

Living Impaired: Is fastidious about his appearance and hygiene.
Zombie: Doesn't notice that he is decomposing all over your living room carpet.

Living Impaired: Tries to build bridges between the living and non-living.
Zombie: Tries to break into your kitchen through the window so that he can eat you.

SUMMARY: Those creatures you see in Left 4 Dead 2? Those are zombies. I don't like them either, and I don't condone their activities. But, believe me, they are a minority within a minority and do not represent the vast majority of hard-working, rule-abiding living impaired individuals across this great land and throughout the world.

Remember: there is a difference.


  1. Wayne - I was not aware there was that much difference between LI and Zeds. Do you have any population numbers for these groups? Does the census even count them?

    Need a Nick Name Scott

  2. We unfortunately have no numbers on how many LI there are, let alone how many "zombies" within the LI community. But I would say that the characters depicted in movies and video games represent about one tenth of one percent of the LI population.