The Day Garfield Developed a Conscience

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Magazine Odyssey, Part Four by Greg Dziawer

Eddie (barely) kept himself afloat, one story at a time.

In last week's edition of Ed Wood Wednesdays, we indexed all magazine issues/titlesfiled for copyright in 1972 by Pendulum/Calga. Moving backward in time, this week we're covering same for all of 1970 and 1971, albeit the periodical filings for 1970 and 1971 are merged and seemingly incomplete, and therefore partial. Ed was at his most prolific as a short story/article writer in 1971, tallying 68 short stories and 67 articles. Interesting that Edusex and Gallery Press do not seem to have been launched until 1972.

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Magazine Odyssey, Part Three by Greg Dziawer

Let us journey once again into the swirling vortex of Ed Wood's magazine writing career.

Another fine Pendulum publication.

By 1972, Bernie Bloom's Pendulum Publishers, Inc. was humming along, producing magazines, paperbacks and films. The magazines were packaged and distributed by mob boss Michael Thevis. Thevis diversified beyond solely magazine distribution in the late '60s, his Peachtree News Company of Atlanta merely the first in a long line of companies. He launched Pendulum as an adult paperback publisher in 1967 in Atlanta, then Bernie incorporated the name in LA in 1968. The name of Calga Publishers, Inc. derived from the then-current state postal abbreviations for California (CAL) and Georgia (GA).

By 1972, Pendulum's small office on 5585 W Pico Blvd in Los Angeles churned out an average of three magazines per week under the Pendulum and Calga imprints. Both were legitimate business in their own right, operating from the same address. In those days, Calga published titles under its own imprint, as well as under two DBAs (copyright-speak for "doing business as," in which a business can use a fictitious name so long as it's not trademarked): Gallery Press and Edusex. Pendulum, too, carried a DBA: SECS Press (also a concurrent paperback line: the Sex Education Clinical Series).

Ed Wood, the most prolific staff writer at the W Pico office, wrote as much as the other four or so staffers combined. His resume lists 51 short stories and 52 articles in 1972 alone. (Thanks to Bob Blackburn, co-heir of the Ed Wood estate, for this count.)

Although much of Ed's work from this era has been identified, it is our hope that this list furthers research ultimately leading to the discovery of more. Stories and articles were often written under pseudonyms, or even without credit, and the staff also wrote any and all supporting text: photo captions and narratives accompanying photo sets, and even editorials. The magazines often formed the basis for paperbacks, the staff quickly stitching them together to collect the $100 bonus per paperback offered by Bernie Bloom.

The following list contains all titles filed for copyright in 1972, 154 individual titles in all. A few were filed for copyright as books, though listed in the periodical copyright index owing to being serialized. Volume and Number were oft-times fluid, duplicating or even skipping a number. Some titles only had Volume numbers. The specific day of copyright likewise varied, sometimes coming after publication, sometimes before, and at the end and beginning of the year, copyright records for 1972 cover a handful of titles published in late 1971 or early 1973.

Pendulum/SECS Press

Pendulum

Balling

v2n1 FebMar

Black and White

v2n1 AprMay

v2n2 JunJul

v2n3 OctNov

Blazing Films

v6n1 JanFeb

v6n2 AprMay

v6n3 OctNov

Body and Soul

v6n1 FebMar

v6n2 JulAug

The Boy Friends

v4n1 JulAug

Dynamic Films

v6n1 MarApr

v6n2 JulAug

Ecstasy

v4n1 FebMar

v4n2 JulAug

v4n3 OctNov

Flesh & Fantasy

v5n1 MarApr

Garter Girls

v6n1 FebMar

v6n2 MayJun

v6n3 SepOct

v7n1 NovDec

The Girl Friends

v4n1 JanFeb (in notice: Dec71)

v4n2 MayJun

Girl Lovers

v2n1 JulAug

Gold Diggers

v4n1 JanFeb (in notice: Dec71)

v4n2 MayJun

Heads Up

v4n1 JanFeb (in notice: 1971)

Lezo

v6n1 MarApr

Nude But Nice

v2n1 FebMar

v2n2 MayJun

Nude Rebels

v4n1 FebMar

v4n2 MayJun

v4n3 SepOct

v5n1 JanFeb73 (in notice: Dec72)

One Plus One

v4n1 JanFeb (in notice: Dec71)

v4n2 AprMay

Orgy

v4n1 AprMay

v4n2 SepOct

Pendulum

v4n1 AprMay

Pussy Willow

v4n2 AugSep

v4n3 NovDec

Roulette

v6n1 JanFeb

v6n2 MayJun

Savage Sex

v4n1 FebMar

v4n2 AprMay

Sensuous Strippers

v3n1 MarApr

v3n2 JunJul

Spice 'n' Nice

v3n1 AprMay

v3n2 AugSep

v3n3 NovDec

Suck-em-Up

v2n1 MarApr

Swap

v6n1 MarApr

v6n2 MayJun

v6n3 OctNov

Two Plus Two

v4n1 JanFeb (in notice: Dec71)

v4n2 AprMay

The Wild-Cats

v6n1 FebMar

v6n2 MayJun

Wild Couples

v4n1 MarApr

v4n2 JulAug

Young Beavers

v6n1 MarApr

v6n2 JulAug

SECS Press

Adult Garden of Sex

SECS Press

n6 MarApr

n7 JulAug

n8 NovDec

Bride & Groom

SECS Press (book)

1 FebMar

3 JulAug

4 SepOct

The Sexual Man

SECS Press

n4 JanFeb

n5 AprMay

n6 JunJul

n7 OctNov

The Sexual Woman

SECS Press

n5 FebMar

n6 AprMay

n7 AugSep

n8 JanFeb73 (in notice: Dec72)

Workbook of Adult Sexual Education

SECS Press (book)

2 MarApr

3 MayJun

World of Love & Sex

SECS Press (book)

11 Apr

Calga/Gallery Press/Edusex

Calga

Belly Button

v3n1 AprMay

Erotic Love

v3n2 OctNov

Group Sex (An Illustrated Study of Group Sex)

v4n1 MarApr

v1n2 AugSep

v1n3 NovDec

Hit and Fun

v3n1 FebMar

v3n2 AugSep

An Illustrated Study of Voyeurism (Formerly: Voyeurism)

v3n2 OctNov

Lesbianism

v3n1 AprMay

Lesbo Lassies

v4n1 JanFeb (in notice: Dec71)

v4n2 MayJun

v4n3 OctNov

Love Me

v3n1 FebMar

v3n2 JunJul

Mastering Sexual Adequacy

v1 JanFeb (in notice: Dec71)

v1 MarApr

v3 Apr May

Primer for Sexual Education

v5 JanFeb

v5 MarApr

v7 JunJul

v8 SepOct

v9 NovDec

The Reel Thing

v1 JanFeb

v2MayJun

v3SepOct

Sado-Masochism (A Study of Sadomasochism)

v4n1 JanFeb

v4n2 MayJun

Skin & Bones

v4n1 FebMar

v4n2 JulAug

A Study of Erotic Love Practices

v3n1 MarApr

Switch Hitters

v3n1 MarApr

v3n2 AugSep

v3n3 NovDec

U.S. Sex and World Views

v5 FebMar

v6 AprMay

Voyeurism (Continued as An Illustrated Study of Voyeurism)

v3n1 AprMay

Gallery Press

Boyplay

Gallery Press

v1n1 NovDec

Cherry

Gallery Press

v1n1 NovDec

Couples Doing It

Gallery Press

v1n1 AugSep72

v1n2 OctNov

Deuce

Gallery Press

v1n1 NovDec

Fantastic

Gallery Press

v1n1 AugSep

v1n2 NovDec

Gallery

Gallery Press

v1n1 OctNov

Gemini

Gallery Press

v1n1 SepOct

v1n2 NovDec

Goddess

Gallery Press

v1n1 SepOct

v1n2 NovDec

Hellcats

Gallery Press

v1n1 OctNov

Legendary Sex Tales

Gallery Press

v1n1 SepOct

Lesbian Life

Gallery Press

v1n1 AugSep

v1n2 NovDec

Monster Sex Tales

Gallery Press

v1n1 AugSep

Party Time

Gallery Press

v1n1 AugSep

v1n2 NovDec

Passion

Gallery Press

v1n1 OctNov

Savage

Gallery Press

v1n1 SepOct

v1n2 NovDec

Turn On

Gallery Press

v1n1 SepOct

v2n1 JanFeb73 (in notice: Dec72)

Wanted Women

Gallery Press

v1n1 SepOct

v2n1 JanFeb73 (in notice: Dec72)

Weird Sex Tales

Gallery Press

v1n1 JulAug

Woman's World

Gallery Press

v1n1 SepOct

v2n1 JanFeb73 (in notice: Dec71)

Edusex

The Anatomy of Sex

Edusex

v1 AugSep

v2 NovDec

Female Sexuality

Edusex

n1 OctNov

The Sex Experience

Edusex

n1 AugSep

n2 NovDec

Sex Forum

Edusex

n1 OctNov

Sex in America

Edusex

n1 OctNov

The Sex Scene

Edusex

n1 NovDec

Sex Studies

Edusex

n2 NovDec

Sexworld

Edusex

n1 AugSep

n3 NovDec

We'll continue indexing all magazine titles produced by Pendulum/Calga during Ed's tenure there (the majority of the publisher's existence) in future installments of Ed Wood Wednesdays.

I have an idea for the next 'Child's Play' movie if anyone wants that.

The Chucktator.

I didn't really keep up with the long-running Child's Play horror film franchise after the first couple of flicks. I haven't even gotten around to seeing 2004's Seed of Chucky, despite the fact that one of my personal heroes, John Waters, appears in it. I only know that the murderous Chucky doll (voiced by Brad Dourif) acquired a female counterpart and some nasty, Frankenstein-like facial scars along the way. I'm still not wild about those scars, since I think they undermine the whole point of the character, which is that he looks like a creepy but harmless My Buddy doll from the 1980s.

Anyhow, despite my almost-total ignorance of the property, I nevertheless would love the chance to write the next Child's Play sequel, if there is one. I have an idea ready to go. Be forewarned: This gets a tad convoluted.

Accurate but not respectable.

I've been obsessed lately with the saga of General Idi Amin Dada (ca. 1923-2003), the military strongman who seized control of Uganda in the 1970s. He terrorized and bankrupted the country for years as its dictator, killing off his enemies, real and perceived, by the thousands. YouTube has countless hours of footage related to Amin: documentaries, news reports, interviews, etc. There, one can also find Amin: The Rise and Fall, a sensational 1981 exploitation film featuring Kenyan actor Joseph Olita as the boastful African strongman.

What's really surprising about The Rise and Fall is that, apart from the inclusion of some tasteless urban legends like the depiction of Amin as a cannibal, the script largely sticks to the historical record and depicts Amin as he really was. Some especially horrific details, such as keeping the severed heads of his foes in his kitchen freezer, are drawn from real life. So what makes this movie "exploitation" rather than an Oscar-winning, critically-praised drama, like 2006's The Last King of Scotland? It's all a matter of tone, I guess. The Rise and Fall treats Amin's reign as a horror story, an approach that extends to the music, the camera angles, the acting, and the editing. It's all done for maximum shock effect. That makes critics uncomfortable.

While re-watching Amin: The Rise and Fall, I started thinking of General Idi Amin as a potential horror star. He's a lot more effective than most of the major icons of the slasher genre, who tend to kill their victims one at a time. In terms of his overall body count, Amin leaves Freddy, Jason, Michael, and the rest in the dust. He operates boldly in broad daylight, rather than skulking around in the shadows. Another advantage is that he doesn't have to do all the killing personally. He has soldiers and guards to do a lot of the dirty work for him.

So then I started imagining a franchise film in which a famous horror character becomes the brutal dictator of a small country. Long-running horror franchises often tend to become gimmicky as the years go by, and this seemed no more extreme than, say, putting Jason Voorhees into outer space. But Jason's no good for this kind of picture. He doesn't talk, and he seems to derive no real pleasure from his killing. Ditto Michael Myers and Leatherface. It's difficult to imagine Freddy Krueger holding down a government job for long. Ditto Hannibal Lecter. So who's left?

Chucky, that's who. He's perfect. He seems like the kind of guy who'd get a kick out of bossing around a whole country. I pictured the little doll getting sick of causing mayhem in his home country and moving to some fictional country in Central America or South America, where he becomes known as "El Juguete," an incredibly corrupt, violent, and sadistic martinet. He'd have everything: an army of henchmen, a harem of love slaves, and a torture dungeon. And the image of little Chucky, still doll-sized, in a military uniform dripping with medals is surreal and funny and terrifying to me. I'd call it Reign of Chucky: Puppet Regime and advertise it with this tagline: "Running a country? It's child's play."

As for the content of the movie, just watch this trailer for the Idi Amin flick and imagine that it's Chucky doing all of this awful stuff. Doesn't that sound kind of awesome?

The ultimate Tim Burton movie...

Look, either you get this pun or you don't.

No compromises. 

Did you know that, in addition to writing, directing, producing, and occasionally acting in motion pictures for 30 years, Ed Wood also edited at least four of his own films, including Plan 9 from Outer Space? As the picture above reveals, Eddie was a born cutter.

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Collaborator Odyssey, Part One by Greg Dziawer

Malta as a harem girl in 1971's The Exotic Dreams of Casanova.

When you think of Ed Wood's collaborators, it's easy to remember Tor Johnson, Bela Lugosi or even Paul Marco. All three of those actors appeared in three films apiece by Ed. But as Joe noted in a previous installment of Ed Wood Wednesdays, actress Rene Bond worked on Ed Wood-related projects more frequently than any of them (six titles in all). There are plenty of others who worked with Ed numerous times, and in the "Collaborator" series, we'll delve into highlights of the careers of some who may not readily come to mind.

Neola Graef (or, occasionally, Graf) appeared in two films Ed worked on: Love Feast and The Only House in Town. See here for some details on loops extracted from the latter feature that starred Neola. A striking, buxom blonde, Graef is now best know for appearing in softcore sex films under the name Malta. She did, however, appear in hardcore films without actually participating in real, on-screen sex, and was billed under numerous names during her less-than-a-decade-long film career: Joyce Adams, Bolivia Tiernan and Olivia Tiernan. She is now credited on close to 40 films, but worked on five times more -- lost, undocumented, perhaps even extant films in which she has yet to be identified. And within the orbit of early '70s West Coast sex films, she frequently appeared alongside other Wood collaborators. Let's take a closer look!

Uschi Digard gets a rubdown from Malta in
1970's The Last Step Down.

Despite her friendship with European emigre Uschi Digard, with whom she featured in many films, including 1970's The Dirty Pool and of course Ed's The Only House in Town, and the noms de porn Malta and Bolivia (just the sort of thing that leads historians to make incorrect inferences), Malta was born in Long Island. Her IMDb page is worth quoting, one of the only pages where you'll find a bio with personal details:

A blonde with voluptuous figure, at 5' 2" and blue eyes, Neola married early, and started a modeling career for $55 per hour - better than to be a sales girl at $50 per week. After two years of college education (classes of Drama and Arts), she started a career as soft-porn actress in about 200 16mm films and 35mm features, several of which were with her very close friend Uschi Digard. After establishing her name in the field, her pay went to $75 a day (average) when shooting a film. The number of feature films in which she is credited is small, possibly because she refused to do hard-core. She joined SAG and later had small roles in mainstream features and had a successful stage career as an actress, where she also directed several plays.

Pornography in Hollywood

Looking through her filmography, you can pick just about any title at random and find her working about one degree away from other Wood collaborators, if not directly with them. In 1972's documentary Pornography in Hollywood (the first film as director by Carlos Tobalina, who would migrate to hardcore as the 1970s wore on), she plays herself, as does Uschi. And so does Eric Jeffrey Haims, who directed Rene Bond in 1971's The Jekyll and Hyde Portfolio (and Carlos Tobalina just happened to be that film's Second Unit Director). Malta also appears in director Robert Caramico's 1970 Sex Ritual of the Occult. If Caramico's name rings a bell, he just happened to be the director of photography on Orgy of the Dead. Her R-rated swansong – with Uschi, and produced by Ed DePriest (director of the Ed-scripted One Million AC/DC) – was 1977's Female Fever.

For the abiding Woodologists out there, no doubt her most fascinating work issued from a shoot that featured a clutch of Ed collaborators, and was used as basis for book, magazine and even film. The film was an 8mm short, Blast Off! (circa 1970, and not extant as far as I can tell). Tom Brinkmann mentioned this on his superb Bad Mags site, where he also posted a scan of the cover of Golden State News' (where Ed and Bernie Bloom worked prior to Pendulum) 1970 magazine Orgy. The unidentified brunette on the left and the man in the center both appear in Blast Off!, and both also worked with Ed (on Take It Out in Trade  and The Only House in Town). On the cover of the magazine of Blast Off!, we see Malta's backside in the background, behind the green-skinned alien kissing a happy and healthy-looking young John Homes. (The alien is misidentified as Malta here.) Holmes,of course, worked with Ed on numerous Swedish Erotica shorts.

(left) A poster for Female Fever; (right) A cover of Blast off! magazine.

And then there's the adult illustrated paperback version, Arthur Faber's Outerspace Sex Orgy (published by the obscure Barnaby Press). This one, fortunately, gives us the main characters and plot basics, and the photos here and in the magazine (now available at this project's Tumblr site) suggest what a find the 8mm film will be (assuming that it turns up):

• John Holmes is Simon Stuart, "the handsome, brilliant scientist whose first invention brought him fame and the biggest erection in the world!"

• The unidentified male performer is Plizzle, "the King of Salacia whose rule was marred by sexual starvation and would do anything to get some virile men for his women!"

• The unidentified female performer is the alien Fallomell, “Salacia's rainbowed beauty of a Queen who after ten years of sexual abstinence awaited the Earthmen with a fervor to be rivalled by none.”

• And of course we can't forgot, there's Malta, as Penny Floss, "the virginal semanticist who signed up for the first sex orgy in outer space."