ZOMBY: The living impaired make ideal wingmen.

A Pet Rock joke in 2011? ZOMBY says, "Why not?"

ZOMBY prepares food while pantsless. Yum.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: Zomby's eyes take up more room on his head than Ziggy's eyes do. So whenever Tom Wilson draws Ziggy with a hat, I actually have to move the character's nose down a little to make room for the eyes. Please, Tom Wilson, don't draw Ziggy with a hat. It adds, like, seven seconds to the process on my end.

And now you know.

How DOES computer dating work in ZOMBY's world...?

Tom Wilson seems to profoundly misunderstand how computer dating works, because he's always having Ziggy show up in person at some kind of "computer dating" office and staring up at the receptionist's desk like a dog looking for table scraps. Look, I'm sure Match.com and eHarmony have brick-and-mortar offices somewhere, but all you'd find there are some administrative staffers, I.T. guys, and maybe some customer service reps (if that part of the business hasn't been off-shored). Ziggy, however, seems to treat this place like it's some kind of magical "girl store" where they have sexy single ladies in some kind of storage room. I believe what he's looking for is known as a brothel.

Am I right about this or totally off base?

Damn it, ZOMBY, join a gym or something!

If all you do is sit around watching TV, you'll never be able to catch up with those meatbags who are running away from you!

ZOMBY is pressured into doing meth... uh, sorry, I mean "math"