Ed Wood Wednesdays: The 'Young Marrieds' Odyssey, Part One by Greg Dziawer

Ben exits the Nude A Go Go in Ed Wood's The Young Marrieds.

Loser of the Week

Sportscaster Stu Nahan

I remember Stu Nahan (1926-2007) as one of the color commentators in the Rocky films. Not yet in my teens, I don't think it occurred to me that Stu Nahan was essentially playing himself. For the better part of 30 years, from the 1970s through the '90s, Stu was a sports anchor in the Los Angeles television market. Early on, he appears to have had a bad week in the local press, the very same week that Ed Wood and crew were shooting the exterior location of the strip club in The Young Marrieds.

In this week's Ed Wood Wednesdays, we're taking a trip down La Cienega Blvd in West Hollywood, circa spring 1971.

I'm sure many of you noticed the two moments in The Young Marrieds when Ben exits the strip club, and quickly rushing by behind him as the camera follows him, we see a sign on the building. The club, as identified by Joe Blevins previously here at Ed Wood Wednesdays, is the Nude A Go Go. We can make out part of the sign to the right of the entrance in the first shot of Ben exiting, and the sign to the left of the door reads:

LOSER OF THE WEEK

STU NAHAN

AND HIS COMPUTER

Not sure what this meant exactly, I inferred it might have something to do with Stu having made a sports prediction (or predictions) with a computer, obviously novel at the time. The prediction(s) must have been wrong, and were likely regarding an LA team, as the proprietors of the Nude A Go Go saw fit to dub Stu their Loser of the Week. Incidentally, the sign also listed Fidel Castro and Richard Nixon among its losers of the week. But what was this all about?

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Loop Orbit, Part Four by Greg Dziawer

"I'd like to buy an O."

A legendary porn producer.

Founded in 1974 by Noel C. Bloom, Caballero Control Corporation (later Caballero Home Video) was one of the most successful and durable adult film studios in American history. Noel was the son of another legend in the porn industry: publisher Bernie Bloom, whose Pendulum family of magazines employed Ed Wood frequently throughout the 1970s. Always desperate for quick cash during the last years of his life, Ed worked as a writer for Bernie on various adult magazine imprints, starting with Pendulum Press titles in 1969 and running through titles from Art Publishers, Inc (home to the multi-media Swedish Erotica empire) in late 1978, just before Ed's passing. Drawing on the Pendulum talent pool, Caballero likewise threw some work Eddie's way during those years for its film productions.

Another Pendlum staffer from that era, artist Phil Cambridge, was a coworker and personal friend of Ed Wood. He talked about the origins of Caballero and Ed's involvement therein with author Rudolph Grey for the book Nightmare Of Ecstasy: The Life And Art Of Edward D. Wood, Jr.

"When Caballero first started, they just did 8mm movies," Cambridge told Grey. "They'd put one-liners, captions, on the bottom of the screen, just like silent films. They gave Ed a hundred bucks to write ten movies. There had to be fifty lines in each movie, minimum."

We've quoted Cambridge before in this series, as a signpost to the discovery of 8mm loop subtitles that could have been written by Ed. In this week's Ed Wood Wednesdays, we're sharing another set of loop subtitles. These come from Danish Films International #10 Photo Layout from 1976. This short film stars a trio of Golden Age porn legends, though who is saying what is open to interpretation.

Read on and see if you detect the presence of Edward D. Wood, Jr. in these lines.

Photo Layout

Annette Haven (unnamed female, in a surprising white beaded necklace): DO WE HAVE A MODELLING JOB TODAY?

Linda Wong (as Susie, wearing the de rigueur chiffon neck scarf, here yellow): YES I HAVE TO CALL HIM.

Linda: SO IT IS ALL SET FOR TODAY.

Linda: WE'LL BOTH BE IN PINK AND WHITE GOWNS.

Linda: I'LL WRITE IT DOWN SO WE'LL BE SURE TO BE THERE.

Linda: BYE!

Linda: LET'S GO.

Annette: IT'S SUCH A BEAUTIFUL DAY TO TAKE PICTURES.

John Leslie (unnamed male): WHY DON'T YOU TWO GIRLS STAND OVER THERE.

John: WHY DON'T YOU MOVE IN A LITTLE CLOSER.

John: HOLD HANDS.

John: GREAT.

John: MOVE OVER THERE.

John: MOVE OVER HERE.

John: SUSIE ALONE.

Annette: YOU'RE PRETTY CUTE.

John: AW, COME ON.

John: LET'S GO IN THE HOUSE.

John: THAT SESSION WAS PRETTY GOOD.

Linda: WE ENJOYED IT, TOO.

Annette: LET'S SEE WHAT WE HAVE HERE.

Annette: UMMMMMMMM!!!!!!

Linda: LET ME GET MORE COMFORTABLE.

John: BOY, YOU SURE ARE STACKED FOR AN ORIENTAL CHICK.

Linda: LET ME.

Annette: BE MY GUEST.

Linda: OHHH!!!!

Linda: OH, YOU'RE MAKING ME SO WARM AND MOIST.

John: HELP ME MOVE THIS.

Annette: YOU MAKE MY NIPPLES SO HARD.

Annette: AHHH!!!!! IT'S SO BIG.

Annette: PUT IT IN, PUT IT IN!!!!!

John: OHHHH!!!!!!
  

Ending title card from the film.

Linda Wong in the customary yellow scarf

Whew! That's a veritable epic by the spare standards of these subtitled loops. And by "these," I mean the loop series that evince signatures of each other, traceable back to producer Noel Bloom. We've previously mentioned that Ed lists an astounding 716 so-called "short picture subjects" on his own resume, just from 1971 to 1973 alone. The possible playing field in which we could find evidence of Ed's hand is clearly immense, and still largely remains unknown. This week, we'll stick strictly to the subtitles.

With 33 lines and 154 words (4.7 words per line) this is the lengthiest set of Bloom-family loop subtitles I've yet transcribed, with a smattering of reasonably full sentences. And if Ed wrote it, the directions by John during the shoot take on a special meaning. Overall, the minimalism, simple syntax, font/placement and penchant for including the grunts and groans are all highly consistent across the subtitles through the years in a wide array of Bloom-family loops released under dozens and dozens of imprints. It's worth noting that, outside of this family of loops, other production companies and distributors rarely subtitled their 8mm porn loops. Why bother with the extra hassle and expense?

Box covers did not always include the information that a loop was subtitled, but when they did, it was touted as a selling point. It seems a questionable selling point to me, but given the silence of the loops, perhaps it appealed to a few (highly advanced) men out there craving a sense of sound. The Bloom-family loop series' of the first half of the '70s also distinguish themselves by possessing an arty quality compared to most of the other series out there, pointing not only to Bloom's (magnum opus) Swedish Erotica series but to the Golden Era's Porno Chic aesthetic, as well.

Annette Haven

Photo Layout was, like the loop Young and Proper aka Prudish Secretary (also starring Annette), a loop that Bloom derived plenty of mileage from. Both were released on the Danish Films International label, silent with subtitles and running almost 90 meters (roughly 16 minutes). Both were also released, cut to a shorter and more typical loop length, on the Danish Films loop label, in versions minus subtitles, with dubbing (yes, they dubbed films that were originally shot silent). Both turned up in features, on the same DVD compilation (Swedish Erotica Hard Vol 16) and both were given photo features in Danish Films magazines, with accompanying text likely written by Ed.

If you're familiar with the pornographic loops of this time period, the opening shot of the edited and dubbed version of this film will give you déjà vu: John walking out of and away from the camera, quickly revealing a girl on each side. The actual photo shoot is excised, necessitating a title change to Fashion Layout, and the dubbing never references it, nor does it in any way correspond to the the subtitled version. It also appeared as the finale of the feature Black Silk Stockings, a 1978 Swedish Erotica loop carrier.

Young and Proper aka Prudish Secretary likewise ended up in a feature, 1979's collection of Swedish Erotica loops, Sheer Panties. Both are credited to producer-director Billy Thornberg (real name Chris Warfield), who often put together loop carriers centered around Bloom-family loops. Beyond Fulfillment from 1975, featuring John Holmes throughout, includes loops with set decorations recognizable from a host of Bloom-family loops. Not to get too far astray from the topic at hand, but could Warfield's presence be a clue to the artistic personnel sometimes behind (when including multiple signatures) the Bloom-family loops on the whole? The loop carriers are introduced in the features with newly-shot footage including narrators. It's equally possible the credit refers to Warfield's involvement there. We'll come back to this in a future Ed Wood Wednesday.

Porn legend John Leslie

If all of those permutations have you confused, now factor in two Danish Films International loops with the index number #10. Flesh Eater is from 1973. Photo Layout was released in 1976, on a second run of titles under the Danish Films International imprint that featured longer loops and replicated the index numbers of the first 30+ loops in the series. We surmise this is #10 as the last subtitle before The End card, same font and placement as the subtitles reads: DANISH #10. And that End card, of course, is in the same script-like font that closes out the Swedish Erotica loops.

What you are really wondering, no doubt, is if Ed really did pen these subtitles. Let's cut to the chase. I've included this as a Wood Loop Orbit, areas of Woodology suggestive of Ed's involvement at best and stages upon which we knew he stood (literally and figuratively) at very least. I surmise a high likelihood that Ed wrote many if not most of these Bloom-family loop subtitles, which ran into the hundreds if not thousands, including this one.

If he didn't, who did?

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Loop Orbit, Part Three by Greg Dziawer

Ed Wood's career in loops comes further into focus this week.

Swedish Pre-Rotica
       

Ed Meese's report on pornography.

In last week's Ed Wood Wednesdays, we took a glimpse at Ed Wood's possible involvement in writing editorials for the Pendulum family of magazines. Ed was then working as a magazine staff writer at the Pendulum offices on W. Pico Blvd. in LA. In 1969, Ed's boss Bernie Bloom went into the film business, launching Cinema Classics, run by his son Noel. Ed wrote and directed three features (that we know of) for Cinema Classics/Bloom: The Only House in Town, Necromania and The Young Marrieds. While we've outlined correspondences between the latter two films previously and obsessed over orbital loops, we've neglected to mention how instrumental Noel Bloom was in the production and distribution of said 8mm loops. And how risky it was to deal in porn circa 1970, even in North Hollywood.

Take this with a grain of salt, as it is Uncle Sam's spin from The Meese Report (1986), and note that Bernie is absent:

Noel Bloom, doing business as California International Distributors and Cinema Classics, is a major Los Angeles based distributor of 8mm films. He has been arrested several times on local misdemeanor obscenity charges and has one Federal arrest for Interstate Transportation of obscene matter (ITOM) charges which resulted only in a guilty plea by the corporation.

But what about the loops? By my estimation, conservatively, there are four or five dozen loop series produced and/or distributed by Noel Bloom in the first half of the '70s, Swedish Erotica by far the most prolific and durable. Ed penned subtitles for many of these loops, and perhaps played a larger creative role, listing over 700 "short picture subjects" on his resume from 1971 through 1973. We have summarized these possibilities before. To reiterate: Ed wrote subtitles for a variety of Bloom-related loop series, and likely edited some. And the consensus remains that Ed "made"―interpret that as you will―the first nineteen Swedish Erotica loops. (If we here enter auteur territory, I disagree, but that's another matter.) 

Within the possible terrain of Ed's involvement, within this week's Orbit, I've randomly (no kidding) selected a handful of box cover summaries from Bloom-related loop series. When I say "possible" I mean "definite." You be the judge:

Fanny Films #12 Bikini Girls 

Three of the most luscious girls decide to vacation at a beach resort...swimming...luxurious lodge and room...and then they discuss sex and what girls might do together. The kissing starts, the nakedness becomes apparent, finger fucking becomes evident, then one of the girls produces a couple of dildoes...therefore they find themselves sucking each other and fucking with the dildoes and in most cases, licking each other at the same time...beautiful bodies on beautiful girls, doing something different and sexually explosive.

Pussycat Films #5 Spring Lust 

Spring, and the young girl's fancy turns to...SEX...rugged, hot, cock sucking sex. But there isn't only cock and cunt sucking on her mind. She wants to get every inch of the male prick into that cunt...deep into the harvest nest of her love box where the juices stream with passionate heat. She is turned on to all the joys a bedroom can offer...and she adds a few touches of her own along the way...right up until the wild come scene. 

Logo for Blazing Films

Blazing Films #6 Swimming Party 

Several couples are relaxing by the pool, but soon one couple leaves to escape the heat indoors; only to find each other's temperatures starting to boil. With the sexual abandon of youth, they explore each other's deepest passion before exploding in thundering pleasure.

Danish Films #2 Terrorized Virgin 

Two men bent on rape, kidnap a pretty girl from the park and lug her to their pad. There she is forced to suck them off as well as get fucked by both. Her tongue is bound to turn the watcher on as it licks away at their cocks and balls. Then the come completely fills her mouth as she licks it down into her throat.

Garter Girls #5 Tit for Tit 

Shirley is desperately in love with Toni and they have been living together for some time. It is because of this that these girls know everything the other wants in their desires to sexually please each other. They herewith share their sexual adventures with the viewer of this film...one of the most exotic, erotic lesbian adventures ever to find its way to the motion picture screen. This is a turn on for both the boys and the girls...Two luscious bodies entwined in the secret loves and passions of the Twilight World.

Again, you be the judge. Bonus uncensored images related to the above-mentioned loops have been posted to the Ed Wood Wednesdays Tumblr. Enjoy them.

The day Mary Worth and Mark Trail switched places!

Writing comics is easy and fun!

Sometimes, it doesn't take much to transform a mediocre or poor comic strip into a great one. The elements are all there; they just have to be properly arranged for maximum effect. Take Mark Trail and Mary Worth. Currently, both of these long-running serialized strips are mired in very slow-moving, creaky storylines with little appeal to newcomers. The title character of Mark Trail, a nature writer and adventurer, has apparently stumbled onto some kind of crime ring while on his way to study ferrets. Some no-goodniks have kidnapped a very passive blonde woman for reasons that remain unclear. Meanwhile, the heroine of Mary Worth, a sixtyish advice columnist, is taking a cruise with her much younger friend, Toby, and might wind up interfering in the lives of strangers while on the boat.

Ho-hum, right? Pretty standard fare for both series.

What I did with these strips is simply swap the dialogue. Now, both comics are more intriguing. Mark Trail seems to be complicit in a human trafficking operation, while Mary has lost all interest in "helping" others. It's called playing against type, and it works like gangbusters.

For comparison, the originals are here and here.

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Magazine Orbit, Part Three by Greg Dziawer

This week, we're looking into Ed Wood's career as an editorial writer,.