Ed Wood extra! A rare interview with Ed DePriest, director of "One Million AC/DC"

Just a man, a camera, a shirt, and a dream: Ed DePriest in the early days.

One man, no shirt: DePriest in AC/DC.

If you're going to cover the entire career of Edward D. Wood, Jr. from stem to stern, you had better be prepared to immerse yourself in the musty, shadowy world of sexploitation and pornography from the 1960s and 1970s. Fortunately for me, that particular subject has been thoroughly and lovingly documented by pop culture historians, both amateur and professional. Ed Wood Wednesdays has served as a crash course in Pornography 101, and I've been lucky to find helpful souls on Facebook, Yahoo Groups, and other places who have pointed me towards valuable resources. It was, I believe, a New Yorker named Steven Otero who first made me aware of a marvelous podcast about the history of pornography called The Rialto Report, hosted by a flawlessly polite and disarming Britisher named Ashley West.

Ashley's knowledge of the pornographic film industry, particularly that of New York in the 1970s, is unrivaled, and he has managed to convince many significant actors and directors of the era to participate in interviews. I got in touch with Ashley around the time I was writing my article about One Million AC/DC (1969), and he mentioned that he was going to interview the film's director, the reclusive and media-shy Ed DePriest, via Skype. I was flattered when Ashley invited me, along with Vinegar Syndrome's Joe Rubin, to participate in a series of conversations with Mr. DePriest back in November and December 2013. This was a big deal, since Ed DePriest did not normally grant interviews.

I was a little nervous and felt rather out of my depth, especially when the conversation turned to such esoteric subjects as developing labs and film stocks. But Ed DePriest himself could not have been nicer, and I was glad to know that he had read my piece about One Million AC/DC. Besides Mr. DePriest's career, which started with surf documentaries before making a left turn into pornography, we talked about a number of actors, writers, and technicians who played a role in the Ed Wood saga, including Lou Ojena, Pat Barringer, Pete Perry, Gary Graver, Hal Guthu, and of course, Ed Wood himself. If you read the article, you'll get some insight into what kind of guy Ed Wood was -- how he acted, how he lived, how he dressed, etc. But Mr. DePriest has had all kinds of showbiz adventures, and he's crossed paths with such notable names as Ravi Shankar, Orson Welles, and Yoko Ono!

Here is the completed article, as edited and compiled into its final form by Ashley West. I hope you will read and enjoy it.  I am so proud to have been a part of this. Thanks to Ed, Ashley, and the other Joe for making this happen.

KIM JONG-IL: HIS FIRST INTERVIEW AS A ZOMBIE!

Kim Jong-Il looking healthy and relaxed. (source)

It is a matter of longstanding policy on this blog to bring you interviews with dictators soon after they have passed away and returned as zombies. After my conversations with Osama bin Laden and Muammar Gaddafi, I believe I have become the recognized leader in this very specific field. Now, as 2011 draws to close, I am privileged and honored to bring you this brief chat with North Korea's supreme leader Kim Jong-Il on the occasion of his demise.

WK: Before we begin, what do you want me to call you? Dear Leader? Our Father? From experience, I know that you power-mad dictators have a real "thing" about titles.

KJI: Hey, buddy, you can call me anything but late for "crazy practice!"

Crazy practice....? I don't, uh...

You know, lessons in acting completely batshit insane! You think I got like this overnight? No, I had to work at it! I mean, just look at my hair. Who was doing the "troll doll meets Kid 'n' Play" look before me?

Uh...

Exactly! Nobody! And you know who my wife is?

Er... it says on Wikipedia that you...

A game of Frogger!

Frogger? Like the arcade game?

I don't know!

But you said...

I say a lot of things. And my loyal subjects believe every last one of them. Like when I said I invented rainbows? They believed me. When I said I was all four Beatles? They believed me. Legally own the moon? Believed me. My toenail clippings cure gout? Believed me.

I get the idea. So the people of North Korea seemed to be pretty broken up over your passing.

Oh, hell yeah. Wait 'til they learn I've been dead nine years.

Nine years? But...

Hey, I'm like a David Lynch movie, man. Don't try to figure me out. Just sit back and enjoy! Speaking of which, do you want to go hunting unicorns with me, Jesus, Santa Claus, Ganesh, and the 1976 Baltimore Orioles?

Actually, yes. Yes, I do.

Well, grab an invisible pogo stick and let's get going! Oh, wait. Hold on a sec. I'm getting a text from Nicolas Cage. We're pretty much besties.

I can believe that.

Then you're well on your way to being North Korean.

Ha! Good one!

At this point in the interview, Kim Jong-Il folded himself into a small cube and was escorted away on a velvet pillow by an honor guard consisting of Barney the Dinosaur, the Wrathful Buddha, six members of the Rockettes, and one mysterious being who seemed to consist of pure light or possibly pure energy. I tried to follow after them, but when I reached for my invisible pogo stick, I found myself grasping at nothing but air.

Muammar Gaddafi: His first interview as a zombie!

Artwork by ScrappySCREAMER of Deviant Art

The world learned this week of the death of Muammar Gaddafi, the infamous Libyan dictator who held power in his country from 1969 to 2011. In yet another journalistic coup, the Dead 2 Rights blog has managed to wrangle an exclusive interview with Mr. Gaddafi in his first week as a member of the living impaired community. It is presented here in the interest of fostering peace throughout the world.

WK: Hello, Mr. Gaddafi.

MG: Colonel Gaddafi.

Excuse me?

I demand to be addressed by my military title. You will call me "Colonel Gaddafi."

Uh... aren't you retired now?

Never! And I notice you are not genuflecting. Why are you not genuflecting?

As a zombie, it's kind of difficult for me to genuflect. Rigor mortis and all, you know. And I'm fresh out of Osteo Bi-Flex, darn the luck. You'll find out about all that soon. But getting back to your career... a 42-year reign of terror. You've gotta be happy with that.

First off, I'm not comfortable with that term "reign of terror." I prefer "glorious and honorable stewardship of my beloved country." Secondly, are you implying that my reign is over?

I'm not implying it. I'm saying it. You're dead. The game's over.

The game is not over, my friend. This is merely halftime.

I'm not comfortable with the term "my friend." I prefer "guy who happens to be sitting across from you." And with all due respect, I don't think the people in Libya would want you back, even if you were alive.

This is where you are wrong, my trusted comrade.

I am even less comfortable with the term "my trusted comrade." I met you, like, 20 minutes ago.

It is true that I shall have to work my way back to the top by degrees. I plan to begin "Phase 2" of my career with a brutal takeover... I mean, glorious and honorable stewardship of a Starbucks in Sarasota. The world has not seen the last of Muammar Gaddafi.

Yes, it has.

Again, you are mistaken, my most cherished advisor.

I'm your "cherished advisor" now? You know what? This interview has gotten too creepy even for me. I'm outta here.

No hug?

Nah.

O-Zombie bin Laden: The First Interview!

Our former nemesis, now zombified.

The headlines today have been dominated by the death of notorious terrorist Osama bin Laden. In what must be considered a journalistic coup for Dead 2 Rights, I have wrangled an interview with the deceased al-Qaida leader as he begins his new "life" as one of the living impaired.

WK: So... big day, huh?

OBL: I'll say.

How do you feel?

Weird. Tired from the move, mainly.

I'll bet. Are you surprised not to find yourself in paradise with 72 dark-eyed virgins?

Honestly? No. Death clarified a lot of issues for me, like, instantaneously. It's like the picture had been all blurry and then suddenly came into focus. Namely, I realized that the living version of Osama bin Laden was a complete shitheel. I don't know what I was thinking, to tell you the truth. Wow. I was way, way off. I realize that's not much consolation, but there you are.

So I take it you won't resume your old ways as a quote-unquote "zombie"?

Me? No. I have a ton of atoning to do, so I'd better get started. I'm thinking of changing my name, disguising my appearance, and joining Greenpeace.

Classy. Do you mind discussing your recent demise?

Not at all.

Well, the paper said you died in a "firefight" in a "mansion." That sounds a lot like Al Pacino in Scarface.

Hmmm.

You sound tentative.

I don't know what that is, the thing you're referring to.

You've never seen the movie Scarface?

I was a terrorist, kid. We didn't keep up with movies. We were too busy... you know, terrorizing.

Bummer. If only you'd had Netflix, maybe everything would have been different.

Tell me about it.

Will you be catching up on what you missed?

No. Like I said, I've got plenty to atone for, and that's how I'm going to spend my time. From here on out, it's nothing but peace, love, and charity for me.

That's... uh, refreshing I guess. Tell me, of all the media outlets in the world, why did you choose to speak to me?

Don't take this the wrong way, kid, but I wanted to keep a low profile and I've seen your readership numbers. There's literally no lower media profile than this blog.

Oh. I don't know how to respond to that, so I guess we'll wrap this up.

Do you validate parking?

Not for you. Sorry.

No. I totally understand.