Ed Wood Wednesdays, week 87: "What Would We Have Done Without Them?" (1975)

This week, Eddie takes us back into nudie movie history.

A coin-operated peep show.

Edward D. Wood, Jr. is, for better or worse, still known primarily as a filmmaker rather than a writer. Even though Eddie's books and articles represent a vast and colorful body of work, rich in themes and ripe for rediscovery, most documentaries about the man make only passing references to his writing career. A typical doc might show a couple of paperback covers from the 1960s before going back to talking about Ed's movies. Cue the umpteenth clip of model flying saucers dangling on the ends of strings.

If people haven't read Nightmare of Ecstasy or Muddled Mind, they may have no idea that Ed Wood was a writer at all, other than his screenplays. Part of the problem has been availability. Due to rights issues, only a few of Ed's dozens of novels (Killer in Drag, Devil Girls, Death of a Transvestite) are readily available on sites like Amazon today. The rest are expensive collectors' items. In recent years, the anthologies Blood Splatters Quickly and Angora Fever have made nearly a hundred of Eddie's short stories easily accessible to his fans. But this represents merely a tiny fraction of Wood's written output

And Ed Wood's nonfiction remains even less known than his fiction, if that's possible. While Eddie's short stories and novels have been somewhat neglected over the years, his fact-based articles and books, nearly all of them sexual or sex-adjacent in nature, have been basically abandoned. Almost no one writes about this material, voluminous though it is. So, today, I thought I'd shed some light on one of Eddie's lesser-known nonfiction works from later in his career.

The story: "What Would We Have Done Without Them?" Originally published in Body & Soul, vol. 8, no. 1, May/June 1975. Anthologized in Short Wood: Short Fiction by Edward D. Wood, Jr. (Ramble House, 2009).

A "camp" classic.

Synopsis: Though the porno film may seem like a relatively recent phenomenon, it's actually part of a heritage that goes back to the earliest days of filmed entertainment. In the old days, there were arcades with hand-cranked machines that allowed the viewer to flip through photographs. Then there were primitive "peep shows" that displayed brief filmed striptease routines. Eventually these shows evolved, adding color and full nudity. Many of these shows focused on nudist camps, since that setting allowed filmmakers to present nudity in a non-sexual way. Eventually, the appeal of these nudist films wore off, and the coin-operated machines weren't profitable enough for film producers or arcade owners.

The next step was projecting these films onto a big screen for an audience, rather than showing them to one viewer at a time. Nudity started becoming commonplace in theatrically exhibited films made after World War II and shown at burlesque theaters. Some of these films had stories, but many were simply the same old strip shows of the past. Patrons back then would sit through live strippers and old newsreels before getting to see the films. Even though these films were cheaply made and shown in black-and-white, they initially attracted long lines of curious spectators.

But this, too, lost its novelty, and producers realized they would have to invest more money in these movies. Some of that money came from theater owners who depended on the producers to stay in business. By the mid-1960s, the movies featured some "petting and kissing" between boys and girls. And, at long last, color became standard. But the stories were still "weak." Ultimately, knowledgeable audiences simply demanded that the films include actual sex. And this practice continues now, despite the efforts of "pressure groups," who have only succeeded in making sex films into a thriving multi-million-dollar business.

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Lost Greg Javer/Keith Crocker Commentaries [PART TWO]

Yes, it's already time for a sequel.

I can still remember a few years back when Greg Javer aka Greg Dizawer excitedly emailed me about an Ed Wood project he was working on for Severin Films. To be honest, I didn't quite understand what the project was. I knew that it had something to do with a company restoring and rereleasing some of Ed's adult movies from the 1960s and 1970s, but beyond that, I was in the dark. Eventually, what resulted from all this was a three-disc collection called Hard Wood: The Adult Features of Ed Wood (2024).

It gives me some consolation to know that Greg was still alive when Hard Wood was released on Blu-ray. It's also nice to know that Greg lived to see Ed Wood receive an official New York State historical marker in his hometown of Poughkeepsie, NY. Greg's time on this planet was far too brief, but he managed to have a lasting impact on the field of Woodology.

And we still haven't heard the last of Greg, a year and change after his death! Recently, reader Brendon Sibley sent me some commentary tracks that Greg recorded with film archivist Keith Crocker that were intended for Hard Wood but did not make it into the released version of that set. Drawing on their vast knowledge of vintage erotica, Greg and Keith recorded their reactions to six of the Swedish Erotica loops that Eddie allegedly made in the early 1970s. What was the full extent of Ed's involvement in these silent movies? That's been a subject of debate for decades, and these commentary tracks hopefully provide some insight.

Last week, we presented Greg and Keith's thoughts on The Virgin Next Door (parts 1 and 2) and Western Lust. This week, let's enjoy their commentary tracks for Girl on a Bike, 15" Commercial, and Devil Cult. Again, I had to distort the visuals just a bit to appease the YouTube and Blogger censors, neither of whom would have allowed me to post these films as they originally appeared. You'll just have to imagine actor Keith Erickson's skin tag, among other things.

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Loop Odyssey, part 27 by Greg Dziawer

A lad and lass get to know each other in Nightclub Rendezvous.

Just prior to the launch of the Swedish Erotica loops in the early 1970s, adult movie honcho Noel Bloom produced a number of X-rated loops under the Danish International Films imprint. These short erotic films were among the first of their kind to be subtitled. This is significant, since I believe that Edward D. Wood, Jr. penned some or all of these subtitles and provided similar services for other loop series. 

Although Swedish Erotica would ultimately become his company's primary loop series, Noel Bloom continued to push the Danish angle throughout the decade. In 1975, just a few years after Danish International Films, Bloom et al. launched the Danish Films series. An early title in this franchise, Nightclub Rendezvous, was not only subtitled, but was also featured in issue two of Danish Films magazine. (There seems to have only been two issues of this publication.) The Danish films loops are strikingly similar to the Swedish Erotica loops—running concurrently and seemingly made by the same creative principles.

Interestingly, Nightclub Rendezvous—labeled #1006 and designated the sixth entry in the Danish Films franchise—opens with the same "logo" as some of the earlier Danish International Films: a young lady licking a large swirled lollipop as she enticingly looks back over her shoulder at us.

From the text in the magazine, we learn that the male and female protagonists are named Larry and Billie. In the loop itself, the only other character, a bartender, is referred to as Duffy.

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Young Marrieds Odyssey, Part 8 by Greg Dziawer

Let's revisit Ed Wood's final feature, The Young Marrieds.

The XX Series.

I was scanning through screen captures of 1970s adult loops over the weekend when the thumbnails from one particular movie caught my eye. Although they were in black & white—8mm shorts were commonly sold in either color or black & white—I immediately recognized them as being from Ed Wood's final known feature as a director, The Young Marrieds (1972). Specifically, these images came from a sex scene early in the film in which protagonist Ben, an unsatisfied husband, picks up a strange woman outside of a strip club.

There was a time when The Young Marrieds was essentially unknown. In Nightmare of Ecstasy: The Life and Art of Edward D. Wood, Jr. (1992), author Rudolph Grey briefly mentions the title but seems unsure if it's a distinct film. On page 192, he writes:

The Only House appears to be the plot of Wood's 1971 film Necromania. At the same time, Wood also made the film The Young Marrieds, which may also be known as The Only House.

Today, we know that The Only House in Town (1971), Necromania (1971), and The Young Marrieds are three separate films.

 

Decades after Grey's book, two different versions of The Young Marrieds would turn up on disc. And then came the realization that it had been released in the UK on tape way back in 1981 and that an 8mm short of this very scene was sold in the UK via mail order around the same time. What other iterations derived from The Young Marrieds may still be out there, waiting to be discovered?

For the record, the loop I mentioned at the beginning of the article turned up with the title Nymphomaniac on The XX Series label, a lengthy series of shorts connected to producer Noel Bloom and carrying a 1972 copyright. We discussed one loop in the series previously here, and you can learn more at the indispensable Adult Loop Database here and here.

In many of these articles, I merely speculate that Ed Wood may have the directed the loop discussed. In this case, however, it's s a sure thing!

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Loop Odyssey, Part 26 by Greg Dziawer

A familiar-looking young lass appears in Virgin on the Ropes.

In my eternal search for the work of Ed Wood, I keep returning to the short 8mm loops produced by Noel Bloom. Noel began releasing pornographic loops under the Cinema Classics label in the early 1970s, eventually branching out to many other series during the first half of the decade. 

The sheer scope of these loops is mind-boggling. As I periodically scan through these films, it occurs to me again and again just how many loops we're potentially dealing with here. At the very least, it is hundreds upon hundreds. Could it even surpass a thousand? The promise of Ed Wood's involvement -- whether it's writing subtitles and box cover summaries or taking more instrumental roles in production or post-production -- is always lurking at the edges.

First things first, it's a matter of ID-ing a loop in the "early 1970s Noel Bloom/Ed Wood" target zone. As I recognize more commonly-used set decorations, in particular, that task becomes easier.

A good example of the kind of film I'm looking for is Virgin on the Ropes. I first came across this one a few years back. As the title card came up, I immediately recognized the very same little pegboard with the same white plastic letters that were used to spell out the titles of other loops I've discussed in this series. Because some of the set decorations in those loops correspond with others indubitably at Hal Guthu's studio on Santa Monica Blvd, I had my first clue that Virgin on the Ropes was also shot there.

Fittingly, the pegboard appears against a cross hatching of rope. Yes, this is going to be a bondage scenario. The rope prop, it turns out, will be central to the loop. When I first screened Virgin on the Ropes, though, I had not previously seen it (or so I thought.)

(left) Virgin on the Ropes main title; (right) A rope prop in Western Lust.

The familiar Cinema Classics logo appears at the end of the loop, solidifying that this was not only shot at Guthu's studio, but that it was without question a loop produced by Noel Bloom.

In between, a couple engage in bondage and sexplay. The camera pans and setups are highly similar to those we see in other Bloom-family series like Danish International Films or the earliest Swedish Erotica loops. We even get curtain wipe edits to transition us into and out of the action at the beginning and end.

Speaking of the Swedish Erotica series, I was recently watching the fourth loop in that series, Western Lust, and lo and behold, there it was during the interior sex scene: the rope prop. It is only partially visible for brief flashes at the left edge of the screen, so I had neglected to notice it before. The Virgin on the Ropes loop had planted the image in my head, though, so now I was really seeing it for the first time.

It made me want to revisit Virgin on the Ropes. Upon doing so, I had to scratch my head a few times as I watched. The lead female performer sure looked an awful lot like Madame Heles in Ed Wood's 1971 feature Necromania, which was shot in that same little space on Santa Monica Blvd! I had not noticed her elsewhere before, outside of Necromania (or so I thought).

Possibly the same actress in (left) Virgin on the Ropes and (right) Necromania.

What's it all mean? I'm never quite sure myself, but I suppose that remaining vigilant and seeing things with a fresh set of eyes will reveal more of the story. Just what were Ed's roles in the making of the loops, and how extensively was he involved? While we're never likely to fully know that answer—minus any documentation and all these years later—we can make some educated surmises along the way.

Virgin on the Ropes lacks subtitles, generally a sign that it predates even the earliest subtitled series like Pussycat. The pegboard also seems to be a hallmark of the earlier films, as the later ones move to optically-generated title cards. Ed was at Hal Guthu's studio directing both Necromania and The Young Marrieds in the latter half of 1971, and the timeline seems to fit here. The loop Prisoner's Lovemaking , in which Ed himself appears, actually features the very same CC (for Cinema Classics) logo at the end.

Could Ed Wood have directed the 8mm short Virgin on the Ropes? I say that he sure could have, and perhaps someday we'll know for sure.

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Ed Wood Summit Podcast #25 by Greg Dziawer

As always, Greg keeps us in the loop regarding Ed Wood.

A few months back, some wonderful anonymous poster digitized and uploaded a copy of an 8mm porn loop from 1973 in a private adult forum. The film in question hailed from The Reel Thing, a short series containing only eight loops, a few among them still unidentified. I immediately recognized that title, The Reel Thing, since it was also used by publisher Bernie Bloom for one of his Calga magazines in 1972.

Could the loops be related to the magazine? We know Ed wrote for the latter. He even reviewed one of his own books there anonymously! But could he have also been involved in the film series of the same name?

Join me for this podcast as I ponder that question.

BONUS MATERIAL: Here are the front and back covers of a Reel Thing loop. Take special note of the disclaimer on the back.

I had to censor the cover picture a little, but you get the idea.

And here's that book review that Ed Wood wrote for the Reel Thing magazine. It's of his two-volume set, A Study in the Motivation of Censorship, Sex & The Movies.

No, really, read this review. It's a goldmine of Wood trivia.

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Erotica Odyssey, Part 4 by Greg Dziawer

This week, let's look at a text from the late 1970s and guess if Ed Wood wrote it.

For the last few years, I have been scouring the texts from late '70s Swedish Erotica film magazines, looking for evidence of Ed Wood's participation. Eddie's known magazine credits virtually ceased after 1975, but we have evidence that he was still cashing checks from Swedish Erotica right into the summer of 1978. His paystubs from that period bore the euphemistic name "Art Publishers, Inc."

Today, I present to you the entire (uncredited) text from Swedish Erotica film magazine #28. The issue features a pictorial with text entitled "Sweet Alice." Unusually for this series, the pictorial comprises the entire issue. Most of the SE film mags included three to four features apiece and sometimes even a page of short capsule reviews. 

The photos for the pictorial were taken on the set of the corresponding silent 8mm film, also titled "Sweet Alice" and released in 1979 as loop #240 in the Swedish Erotica series. It stars John Holmes and an uncredited Seka. I am deliberately avoiding any textual analysis, because I want you to read the story without any preconceived notions.

Let's go!

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Loop Odyssey, Part 25 by Greg Dziawer

This modest apartment serves as the backdrop for "Debutante Lust."

Edward D. Wood, Jr. was heavily involved in the production of silent 8mm porn loops in the early 1970s. The subtitles for dozens of these films possess hallmarks of Ed's writing, and there is a general consensus that Eddie was involved in a director-like capacity on many of them as well. He even shows up as an actor in the fabled "jailer" short—shirtless, paunchy, and wearing a sombrero.

I've transcribed the subtitles to many such loops previously, including several entries from the Pussycat Films series. Like the far better known Swedish Erotica franchise, this was one of the earliest subtitled porn loop series, and the individual films share a variety of connections even beyond the subtitles.

This week's specimen is loop #6 in the Pussycat Films series, "Debutante Lust." The film is rife with tell-tale tropes. The transcribed subtitles this time do a good job of describing the onscreen action, so I'll largely spare you the blow-by-blow and let you use your imagination. Rest assured, exactly what you think is happening is what's happening.

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Loop Odyssey, Part 24 by Greg Dziawer

The pioneering film Tongue has a surprising connection to Ed Wood.

"We were then satisfied that, with proper lubrication and better adjustments, a little more power could be expected." 

Orville Wright

Logo for the Foxy series of loops.

I've spent a good deal of time these last few years untangling Ed Wood's involvement in 8mm porn loops in the 1970s, and one of my surest conclusions is that Eddie wrote the subtitles for numerous silent loops during this time.

Upon closer inspection, it became obvious that the subtitled loops—regardless of which series released them—had strong internal consistencies. In fact, the subtitles are just one of the major correspondences in these movies. Beyond that, I've ID'ed numerous set decorations as well as cinematic tropes ranging from editing to camera setups and movement.

Released between 1971 and 1978, these particular loops on which Eddie worked were produced by Noel Bloom. During these same years, Noel's father Bernie employed Ed as an adult magazine staff writer. As I've shown before, however, Noel was not only producing his own loops but was occasionally releasing foreign ones, usually Danish, with English subtitles.

Occasionally, Noel Bloom also distributed loops that were excerpts from adult feature films. To wit: Foxy, loop #3, "Lube Job." It, too, was given the customary subtitling treatment, as follows:

LUBE JOB

The onscreen title appears almost immediately. The loop commences with an elaborate, 360-degree shot that lasts a minute and a half and pans the entire room and beyond. Not long into the shot, we see the source of the film's title: a small, semicircular sign that reads LUBE JOB in red neon letters. This same sign will reappear later in the film but in reverse, indicating that the footage somehow got flipped in post-production.

We are in a well-appointed mansion, where a party is clearly on the precipice of turning into an orgy. The revelers are partially or wholly unclad and are beginning to pair off.

Woman in Red Dress: HI THERE. 

Man: GREAT PARTY. 

Brigitte: UMMM!!!!

Although unnamed, the performer saying this line—a common utterance for women performing fellatio in these loops—is vintage adult film notable Brigitte Maier. Yes, the sex has ensued.

Woman #1: OH, IT IS SO HARD! 

Woman #2: DEEPER! DEEPER!

That type of repetition in the subtitles is common in these loops.

Man #1: AHHH!!!

That line depicts the sound of the man climaxing.

Man #2: PUMP, BABY! PUMP!

More characteristic repetition.

Man #2: AHHH!!! 

Man #2: AHHH!!! 

Man #2: PUMP, BABY! PUMP!

Some repetitive repetition, for good measure.

Man #1 with Brigitte: SUCK IT BABY, SUCK IT! 

Man #2 with Brigitte: NOW ME!

Is he excited, or demanding?

Brigitte: UMMM!!

Either way, she is immediately accommodating.

Brigitte: UMMM!!! 

Man #2 with Brigitte: AHHH!!!! 

Unknown Woman: AHHHH!!!!

Note the additional "H" here, compared to the previous moan. By this point, I have pretty much lost count of who's who within the barrage of cuts and closeups highlighting the action for the final two-thirds of the runtime.

A poster for Tongue.

Late last year, I penned a tribute to my friend Niva Ruschell, the driving force behind the production of the classic porn blaxploitation film Tongue (1976). Although she was betrayed by her partners and cut out of Tongue before it made it to post-production, she remained rightfully proud of the film until the end as something quite unique. Little did she know, until I informed her of it just a few years ago, that she had unwittingly collaborated with Ed Wood. She was a fan of Ed's, though had never met him. 

As you may have guessed by now, "Lube Job" is excerpted from Tongue. Foxy was one of the later Bloom-produced subtitled 8mm series, before most efforts were rolled up under the megalithic Swedish Erotica brand. In fact, by the time Ed Wood died in late 1978, Swedish Erotica was at its height of loop production. Tellingly, perhaps, the subtitling of the loops ceased after Ed's passing.

The box cover summary for "Lube Job" is also worth the read. While Eddie is almost certainly the culprit behind the subtitles, it's plausible that he also wrote the box cover summaries and perhaps even came up with the actual loop titles. 

An enormously opulent mansion is the setting for one of the wildest parties ever filmed. Many couples, black and white and exotic Oriental engage in a sordid pleasure orgy, oblivious to anything but the wanton pursuit of lust and sexual satisfaction. Super close-ups reveal an intimacy rarely seen, as probing fingers and turgid organs explore the sensual spectrum! Don't miss this one!

A little trivia Niva mentioned to me regarding the summary: the "enormously opulent mansion" was owned by the film's backers, a pair of drug dealers from Detroit, and was located in the Trousdale Estates in Beverly Hills. If you want to move there now, the average sale price for a home is $11 million.

For the record, we have a mere 16 lines and only 32 subtitled words in total throughout "Lube Job." While I've seen films with fewer subtitles, the two-words-per-line average is the lowest of the hundreds of loops I've screened. As time wore on, the subtitles tended to this minimalist approach, merely stating or accentuating the obvious, with little to no attempt at providing full sentences or unseen narrative details. In the case of "Lube Job," there's no narrative to speak of beyond the orgy.

On a related note, the post-production of Tongue was performed at the Cinema 35 Project Center on Hollywood and Western, run by Jack Descent, who had previously shot and co-produced the "lost" film Operation Redlight (1969), which Ed Wood starred in and scripted. The angora sweater Eddie wore in Redlight even hung in the front office at Cinema 35 for a time in the early '70s. 

The orgy footage used in "Lube Job" is lifted from a much longer sequence in Tongue. According to Niva, this part of the film was inspired by Fellini's Satyricon (1969). On the Tongue soundtrack album, side two opens with a lengthy track called "Party Time," mixed by Jack Descent. The audio is lifted straight from the actual film soundtrack and comprises the entire sequence excerpted in "Lube Job."

That's just one loop and its story. There are hundreds and hundreds more that must be told!

BONUS: Check out this 2019 interview by Peter Flash (with an assist by me) at Adult DVD Talk with Niva Ruschell, detailing the incredible story behind the making of Tongue.

The Wood Collaborator Odyssey, Part 23 by Greg Dziawer

This week, we reflect on the career of actress Brandy Sanders, aka Brandi Saunders.

A few years ago, while completing the long-delayed post-production of the 1974 softcore sex film Dames & Dreams, I tried to identify as many members of the cast as I possibly could. Though some performers were instantly recognizable, there was one actress who seemed vaguely familiar but whom I couldn't exactly place. With her mane of vibrant red hair, arresting green eyes, freckled pale white skin, and formidable pout, she made quite an impression. She also sported a single tattoo: a plain outline of a small heart above her right pelvic bone. And while her role in Dames & Dreams was unlikely to earn her an Academy Award, she possessed solid comic timing and a wide range of evocative facial expressions. 

Brandy in The Swing Thing.

Flash forward a few months. I had identified much of the cast, but the name of this flame-haired actress still eluded me. By then, I was spending more and more of my time scanning through early '70s adult loops. I was (and still am) on a constant lookout for loops with subtitles and loops that were shot at cinematographer and talent agent Hal Guthu's small Hollywood studio, since such films are highly likely to have a connection to Edward D. Wood, Jr.

One day, as I quickly scanned through a very grainy black-and-white 8mm loop, I stopped and realized it was her, the actress from Dames & Dreams I had been trying to ID. That led me to a private forum where an astute expert identified her as one Brandy Sanders (aka Brandi or Brandy Saunders). Her scant IMDb page listed a mere three credits spread across the first half of the 1970s.

The hardcore feature The Swing Thing (1972) pairs her with, among others, the legendary John Holmes. She's credited there as Julia Mure, a possible hint to her real name. A softcore feature called Massage Parlor Wife (1975) pairs her, as does Dames & Dreams, with another adult film legend, Serena. Her final credit is another hardcore feature, Hollywood She-Wolves (1976), in which she essays the role of a mousy, voyeuristic secretary.

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Loop Odyssey, Part 23 by Greg Dziawer

This week, we explore Ed Wood's "blue" period.

The standard cover for this series.

The color blue triggers calming hormones in the brain, especially conducive to relaxation and study. But that's not how the Blue Film series of adult 8mm loops released in 1974 got its name. In fact, that title is a nod to the history of adult films. The archaic term "blue movie" isn't used much nowadays to describe pornography, but 1970s consumers would have known exactly what to expect from a series with that name. With each 200-foot reel costing $50 (nearly $300 in today's money), they'd better know what they were getting.

Confusingly to modern day aficionados, this series was known as both Blue Film and Blue Movies. The standard front covers of the boxes use the title Blue Movies as a kind of generic descriptor, while the back covers and index numbers use the Blue Film moniker instead. For instance, the short "Joint Connection" is designated as Blue Film No. 4. In August 2017, I deconstructed a loop from this series called "Tammy and the Doctor" (Blue Film No. 5). Back then, I noted the many correspondences between this film and entries from other West Coast loop series produced by Noel Bloom, son of publisher Bernie Bloom. The Blooms were, as you know by now, Ed Wood's most frequent employers during the 1970s.

One common element uniting these films is that they are silent with subtitles. It's my contention that those subtitles were often -- and perhaps always -- penned by Edward D. Wood, Jr. himself. A host of artistic tropes, ranging from editing to camerawork, also mark these series as being the work of the same creative principles. Eddie is generally accepted to have been one of those principles, directing the first 19 loops in the long-running Swedish Erotica series and even cameoing in the 1971 loop Prisoners Lovemaking (aka The Jailer). 

Another hallmark of the earliest subtitled loops, including such series as Pussycat and Danish International Films, is that they feature common sets and set decorations. The interiors for these films were largely shot at talent agent/cinematographer Hal Guthu's studio on Santa Monica Blvd. Many interiors in the earliest Swedish Erotica loops, produced in 1972 and possibly into 1973, were shot here as well. But by the time we arrive at the Blue Film series, which carries a 1974 copyright, interiors were being shot on actual locations rather than sets.

It is unknown if Ed Wood was involved in any way on set for the Blue Film series. But these films are subtitled, so it's safe to say Ed was a key contributor. He may have also written the box cover summaries. His textual signatures are at times noticeable across various loop series. This week, we present for your consideration all eleven Blue Film summaries. Eddie or not? You make the call.

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Loop Odyssey, Part 22 by Greg Dziawer

The leading man of "Spring Lust" certainly seems to enjoy his work.

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Young Marrieds Odyssey, Part 6 by Greg Dziawer

This traumatized teddy has seen too much, too soon in the world of 1970s porn.

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Young Marrieds Odyssey, Part Five by Greg Dziawer

A familiar set from The Young Marrieds went on to star in some other films!

I've spent a lot of time these last few years delving into silent 8mm porn loops from the 1970s, looking for the presence of Ed Wood. Mostly, I've focused on transcribing the subtitles, as there are hundreds of examples to index, collate, compare, and contrast. The evidence suggests these captions were written by none other than the director of Plan 9 from Outer Space. But could there be other loops with a connection to Ed Wood?

I've already shown that the answer is a definitive yes! For instance, Eddie himself cameos in the loop "Prisoner's Lovemaking."  This short film was originally released in 1972 as loop #17 in the NM Series, whose tagline boasted: "The finest action films Hollywood, Denmark and the World have to Offer!" There was also Best of the NM Series, which carried a 1974 copyright and consisted of at least 30 titles. While a complete index of both series remains lacking, enough examples survive to piece together the basics.

Mickey Zaffarano, the capo of porn.

These two series include some of the earliest loops released to the home market by producer Noel Bloom, son of porn publisher Bernie Bloom. At that time, Noel was partners with gangster Mickey Zaffarano, a capo in the Bonanno crime family and the de facto head of porn distribution in the United States during the '70s. By late 1971, both adult features and loops were transitioning from softcore to hardcore, meaning that they now included unsimulated sex acts.

Back then, pornographic loops were mainly shown at peepshow arcades, where customers could watch a film in short increments by feeding quarters into a machine. Inevitably, however, adult producers began eyeing the home market. Customers who wanted to watch X-rated loops in private would buy (expensive) film reels in adult shops or from under the counter at cigar shops or even drugstores. The 8mm projector had long been a staple in many American homes. In fact, I still have my dad's 8mm camera and projector, along with a few reels of film of me and my family from 1972. It's also highly possible that my dad had some 8mm loops of his own, but if he did, I haven't come across them.

The NM Series box covers I have seen from 1972 are very plain, containing only a picture and an index number with an "N.M." prefix. Released a mere two years later, the Best of the NM Series titles have much more distinctive packaging, with a colorful, stylized logo on one side and a graphic photo and plot summary on the other.

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Loop Odyssey, part 21 by Greg Dziawer

Scenes from the 1976 loop "Jam Session."

"Dis-moi ce que tu manges, je te dirai ce que tu es."

("Tell me what you eat and I'll tell you what you are.")

- Anthelme Brillat-Savarin 

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Loop Odyssey, Part 20 by Greg Dziawer

Ed Wood hoped to rub viewers the right way with this loop from 1973.

This week, delving even further into Ed Wood's prolific adult film career, we turn our attention to another set of subtitles from a silent 8mm porn loop made in the early '70s. "The Masseuse" possesses many of the same earmarks as other films we have previously detailed in this series, suggesting Eddie's involvement behind the scenes. At the very least, the subtitles here flowed from his trusty typewriter.

Take a look at the following summary of the film, complete with transcribed subtitles, and judge for yourself.

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Loop Odyssey, Part 19 by Greg Dziawer

The real excitement occurs after the wedding in this 1970s short.

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Loop Odyssey, Part 18 by Greg Dziawer

The characters in today's movie get something special in the mail.

Ed Wood Extra: Keith Crocker on the Ed Wood loops

At 13, Keith Crocker saw a John Holmes loop that changed his life.

NOTE: Recently, film archivist and lecturer Keith Crocker contacted me and asked if he could write a few articles for this site about the career of Edward D. Wood, Jr. Naturally, I said yes. This is the first of those articles. In it, he reflects on Ed's pornographic loops from the 1970s and how those films have affected him personally. Hope you enjoy. - J.B. 

Guest author Keith Crocker

This series is all about archaeology. As fans of Edward D. Wood, Jr., we're looking to fill in information about Eddie's so-called "missing years." Those of us in the know realize that there actually were no missing years in the man's life, just years when he was working under pseudonyms and on the fly. In fact, when Wood was in the worst stages of alcoholism in the 1970s, he was still remarkably one of the most consistently employed men working in adult publications. He brought that skill with him into the world of 8mm porn loops.

In previous articles, Joe Blevins and Greg Dziawer have gone to great lengths to prove that Ed Wood may be the man to have laid down the foundation of the pornographic loop. These loops were short adult films you could watch in the privacy of your own home or even see at an arcade featuring peep shows that you'd watch in a booth for the price of a quarter. And that means lots and lots of people over the long years have seen these films. 

After reading Joe's article about Ed Wood's involvement with the first 19 entries in the long-running Swedish Erotica series, and this claim having some validation by Conrad Brooks in Rudolph Grey's book Nightmare of Ecstasy (1992), I set about compiling as many as possible 8mm loops in which Ed may have been involved in some way or another. I released those films via Cinefear Video, a "buy demand" DVD business I've been involved with for 30 years. I was very lucky to find that the bulk of the said loops were in a collection of films I'd had in my possession since the late 2000s.

You already know where Joe, Greg, and I stand in relation to those Ed Wood loops, the consensus being that Ed not only wrote the subtitles and box cover summaries but also directed them. I've based my argument on the staging of these films. I could go so far as to say choreography, since Ed claimed to have studied under Martha Graham. Believe it or not, this odd choreography would remain a signature of these films long after Ed's involvement.

But the big question really is: what importance did these 8mm films really have? In other words, what impact did they have on the viewing public? A while back, Greg asked if I would share my experience of having seen a silent Swedish Erotica film back in 1978. I was only 13 years old then, and it was the first pornographic film I had ever seen. I will share this experience in the hopes that it will highlight just how difficult it actually was to obtain pornography back then. Furthermore, this story illustrates the long-term impact Ed Wood had on this series, even when he was no longer involved at all.

Keith Crocker's epic first film!

I've loved films all my life. In the late 1970s, a family friend gave me the long-term loan of a Super 8mm camera. This would fulfill my obsession of wanting to be a filmmaker, which I pursued vigorously. In fact, in 1978, I made my first 20-minute Super 8mm spectacle, a film called Dracula is Alive and Well and Living in Hewlett. (Hewlett was the Long Island, NY town where I grew up.) By 1978, I also had my first Super8/8mm dual projector. It was an Argus 866Z and it was a cheap, all plastic projector, affordable to just about everyone. Because I had this projector, it was not unusual that folks would find film reels in their house often belonging to grandparents and would bring them to me for screenings.

One early spring afternoon, my older brother and his friend showed up with a Super 8mm film in a bold and audaciously colored box that boasted the Swedish Erotica logo. The silent film on the inside of this box was called "Shower Beauty." The stars were John C. Holmes and Kitty Shayne. The copyright on the box claimed 1978. It was fresh product. I was 13 years old. I had seen nudie magazines, but I had never seen hardcore pornography. My eyes were about to be opened like never before. And Lord say a prayer for my future girlfriends. Life was never going to be the same.

Kitty Shayne, goddess. 

The plot synopsis on the box boasted: "John Holmes does his girlfriend a favor by mending her plumbing. And he is repaid when his cock finds heaven in her voluptuous body." Short and sweet. Far less evocative than when Ed was writing out the descriptions of the earlier Swedish Erotica shorts. Also, the action in the film tells a different story. For one thing, even though Holmes isn't in a plumber's uniform, it's evident he's there to repair something. When water from the pipe he is fixing gets him wet, he seems annoyed and looks to see what the problem is. He enters through a floor door, which takes him right into the bathroom. Miss Shayne is showering up. He watches her like he's never seen her before. Once Holmes enters the bathroom, Shayne tries to conceal herself. She is clearly not his girlfriend. As usual, Holmes charms her right into the bedroom. This, naturally, leads to the expected fucking and sucking, culminating with one of Holmes' trademark load-on-the-face shots.

Bear in mind that, throughout the whole loop, there's an odd choreography in the way the actors are staged. Not only does the film maximize the limited space in which the scene is shot, but it also adds an odd grace and greater presence to two performers who more than likely lacked grace and presence in any sort of manner. To me, at 13 years old, Kitty Shayne seemed like a Greek goddess. Her body seemed beyond attainable. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest as the film unfolded.

And what can I say about Holmes that hasn’t already been said? He was larger than life, both in endowment and in size. His hair was in a 'fro, a style he had been wearing regularly during the later half of the '70s. There was something suave about him, yet he was an everyday male. Hence, the reasons for his broad appeal. The five-inch film reel played itself out in less than 15 minutes. My innocence (phase one) was gone.

Okay, let's take a look at the landscape here. Videotape was just beginning to emerge. It was beyond affordability. I wouldn’t have my first Betamax until the summer of 1983. Though we lived on Long Island, for some odd reason my brother had picked the film up in an adult bookstore on Staten Island. What he and his friend were doing in Staten Island, I haven't a clue. Don't ask, don't tell. But here's the real interesting thing: my brother had the option of returning this film, paying only an additional $20 and getting another. And he could continue to do this. And he did, for a while anyhow. It was a form of rental. Yes, that’s right, they were renting Super 8mm porn, long before the video boom of the 1980s!

This little Swedish Erotica flick got a lot of play. I had to run it for friends continually, and it even sneaked into some late night projection for my brother's girlfriends. (I came from a big family of six children, three brothers and two sisters.) I remember the girlfriends laughing and covering their eyes during specific scenes, all while the underage projectionist continued to run the film. Yes, this would go over like a lead balloon in today's environment. I'm thankful I grew up in the '70s, dysfunction be damned.

The chicks were a lot cooler back then, too. Some of the old hippie nonsense was still kicking around. In 1979, I got my first tongue kiss from a topless dancer, and my whole body tingled. By 1981, I had my first girlfriend and I could play out what I learned from that Super 8mm film in real time. My apologies for being so open. I'm older and nostalgic, but I also really believe in painting a vivid portrait so you can see and feel what I went through at the time. If I gave you anything less, I'd be cheating you.

The legendary John Holmes

So what does all of this have to do with Ed Wood? Without Wood’s involvement with Swedish Erotica, we would never have had the style that we associate with California-shot porn. New York porn in 1973 was nothing like this. It was just grimy and cheap—shot in one room and usually from one camera angle. Wood was given the opportunity to up the artfulness, and in the first 19 Swedish Erotica loops, he did just that. His impact on the loop series was so strong that the franchise was unable to turn away from the template he had laid down. In those early films, Wood experimented with different genres, including a Western scenario and a supernatural scenario. He also opened up the scope of the common loop, doing outdoor shooting, utilizing gorgeous houses and locations, and trying even to give you narrative in the short time that the loop allowed. This film, "Shower Beauty," was one of Ed’s cinematic grandchildren. And it starred his cinematic son John Holmes. Holmes' career was in many ways founded by Wood. Six degrees of separation but all roads do indeed lead back to Rome.

Within about eight months of my first seeing this loop, Ed Wood, Jr. would die on December 10, 1978. I remember hearing of his passing. I knew who he was. Anyone who owned Heroes of the Horrors, a 1975 book by Calvin Thomas Beck, knew who Wood was because the Bela Lugosi chapter ended with a reference to Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959) being Bela Lugosi's final film. I had yet to see a Wood film, though. I wouldn’t have that opportunity until I had a video machine and I could rent Plan 9, Bride of the Monster (1955), and Glen or Glenda (1953).

In my wildest dreams, I couldn’t imagine that Ed Wood had any type of involvement in that dirty little movie that ran through my projector. Of interest, I wouldn't even attempt to suggest Wood had a hand in the loop I had seen. I know of no 8mm version, and I know of no subtitles being available for this film. (Greg Dziawer, please correct me if I'm wrong.) Yet Eddie's influence is so clearly there, and for this to have been my first viewing of a pornographic film, I couldn’t have asked for a better experience. Some things are just meant to happen, I guess.

Anyhow, I do hope this painted a portrait of what it was like accessing pornography long before the internet. Next time I contribute, I'll be discussing my VHS print of Glen or Glenda under the title of I Led Two Lives. I'll be comparing it to the existing DVD of Glen or Glenda and looking for any differences print-wise. Archaeologists never give up!

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Set Decoration Odyssey, Part 12 by Greg Dziawer

Look for tridents and skulls in the films of Edward D Wood, Jr.

Is this a lost film?

Inevitably, as I revisit the pornographic films Ed Wood made late in his career, I find myself staring again and again at the same studio space in a building at 7428 Santa Monica Blvd. in Hollywood. In its heyday, this was a film set run by talent agent and cinematographer Hal Guthu. For years, this small facility was continually redressed and reconfigured for countless low-budget adult features and pornographic 8mm silent shorts called loops, including many made by Ed. Hal's studio was a testament to the magical illusion of the movies, never identically rendered from one film to the next. The sets were intended to be invisible, tricking us into believing this was a distinct and real space.

In the early 1970s, dozens, perhaps hundreds of loops were shot on Hal's sets, many of them with subtitles penned by Ed Wood. Eddie even appears on camera in one such loop set in a Mexican prison. That turns out to be the downstairs set at Guthu's place, the one with the fake brick wall backdrop. As these articles have detailed ad infinitum, commonly reused set decorations—everything from statues to sheets to paintings—identify Hal's space. These familiar items appear not only in loops but pornographic features as well, including three of Ed Wood's latter-day directorial efforts: Take It Out In Trade (1970), Necromania (1971), and The Young Marrieds (1972).

Which brings us to this week's specimen, a softcore sex film without a title card released under the fabricated name Documentary of a Madam. Now widely available across streaming sites from cult disc label Vinegar Syndrome, the film has often been misidentified as The House Near the Prado (1969). The film's star, Marsha Jordan, was a mainstay of softcore features of the 1960s and '70s, including those directed by Stephen C. Apostolof. A couple of Jordan's collaborations with Apostolof, including 1972's The Class Reunion and The Snow Bunnies, were even scripted by Ed Wood! In Documentary of a Madam, Jordan gives one of her most engaging performances as a madam.

It seems The House Near the Prado was also issued under the title Diary of a Madam back in the day, causing it and Documentary of a Madam to be conflated. But, given its theatrical poster, The House Near the Prado is an entirely different, more mainstream film that seemingly remains lost to this day. Apart from Jordan herself, the cast lists of Prado and Documentary are distinct. Joe Rubin of Vinegar Syndrome agreed with me that they are different films.