(today's zomby) AND ANOTHER TRIP INTO WALTER LANTZ HELL!

And speaking of cartoon characters in despair....

Andy Panda in his 1940s heyday

The unfortunate Walter Tetley

I have written before of my appreciation for the bizarre and underrated cartoons of Walter Lantz. Last time, I praised the 1954 Woody Woodpecker cartoon Alley to Bali, but this time I want to shine the spotlight on Apple Andy (1946), a vehicle for one of Lantz's lesser-known creations, Andy Panda. Frankly, Andy is not too terribly interesting as a character. He's just a plucky and mildly mischievous young panda bear with a regrettably low IQ. What personality he has is bestowed upon him by Walter Tetley, a familiar radio and cartoon actor (he was Sherman in Peabody's Improbable History) whose voice remained in a perpetual state of preadolescence, allowing him to play child parts well into adulthood. The exact cause of Tetley's odd voice is unclear; it is generally thought to be the result of a medical condition, though one of his costars claims the actor had been castrated! Walter Lantz seemed to have a knack for cartoons about characters being tortured for their indiscretions, and Apple Andy is another superb example. As in Alley to Bali, our protagonist is tempted into committing one of the Deadly Sins by another character, then is cast into Hell and undergoes a series of strange punishments before escaping at the very end. Woody Woodpecker's sin was Lust, while Andy's is Gluttony. While the woodpecker wanted to make time with a mysterious Balinese woman, Andy just wants to steal some apples. In classic cartoon fashion, an angel and a devil materialize and wage a war for Andy's soul. But like Woody before him, Andy is morally weak and gives into temptation. Goaded by a satanic fellow panda, Andy eats a pile of green (meaning unripe) apples which have been spray-painted red. This is where the cartoon takes a turn for the surreal and disturbing. I don't want to give away any of the surprises, but listen for the great song "Up Jumped The Devil (In the White Nightgown)" along the way and keep an eye out for some weirdly sexualized apple cores:

The bizarrely alluring "Apple Core-Us Girls" from Apple Andy

You can watch the whole cartoon right here.

If you liked Apple Andy, be sure to check out these terrific studies over at the Screwy Sketchblog!

(no zomby today) INSTEAD, I PRESENT MY FAVORITE CARTOON EVER!

Ha ha ha HAAAA ha!!!!!

Today, dearest readers, it is my birthday. And my present to you and to myself is that I am not doing another torturous Zomby!!!! cartoon today. Instead, I have decided to present to you the absolute greatest cartoon of all time, 1954's Alley to Bali with Woody Woodpecker.

Have you ever thought back to some weird show, movie, or cartoon you saw as a kid and asked yourself, "Did I really see that or just imagine it?" That's exactly my history with Alley to Bali. It's a Woody Woodpecker cartoon, sure, but not like any other Woody Woodpecker cartoon I have ever seen. Normally, Woody is a sort of avian variation on Bugs Bunny, the rascally trickster getting on the nerves of some comedic foil. Here, though, he is basically is the foil. More specifically, he is one of two foils. His partner in punishment is the rather obscure Buzz Buzzard. If nothing else, this cartoon gives us a Woody and Buzz forty years before Toy Story.

I don't want to spoil any of the strange, surreal, and unsettling things that happen in this cartoon. I just want you to watch it.


Woody Woodpecker - Alley to Bali by Lupus-novus

A fresh perspective on death from Kurt Vonnegut and Wanda June

Pamelyn Ferdin as Vonnegut's doomed "Wanda June"


Kurt Vonnegut's Happy Birthday, Wanda June is a story that has existed in several forms (novel, play, film), but you needn't feel obligated to investigate any of them too soon. Vonnegut himself has dismissed this tale in all its incarnations. But there is one scene from the play and film that has stuck with me for years because it offers a startlingly unique perspective on death and dying. 

A little background first, though: the story's title comes from the words written in icing on an unclaimed birthday cake. In the following monologue, the cake's intended recipient, ten-year-old Wanda June, tells us her story. Take it away, Mr. Vonnegut...

SCENE FOUR

MUSIC indicates happiness, innocence, and weightlessness. Spotlight comes up on WANDA JUNE, a lisping eight-year-old in a starched party dress. She is as cute as Shirley Temple.

WANDA JUNE

Hello. I am Wanda June. Today was going to be my birthday, but I was hit by an ice-cream truck before I could have my party. I am dead now. I am in Heaven. That is why my parents did not pick up the cake at the bakery. I am not mad at the ice-cream truck driver, even though he was drunk when he hit me. It didn't hurt much. It wasn't even as bad as the sting of a bumblebee. I am really happy here! It's so much fun. I am glad the driver was drunk. If he hadn't been, I might not have got to Heaven for years and years and years. I would have had to go to high school first, and then beauty college. I would have had to get married and have babies and everything. Now I can just play and play and play. Any time I want any pink cotton candy I can have some. Everybody up here is happy -- the animals and the dead soldiers and people who went to the electric chair and everything. They're all glad for whatever sent them here. Nobody is mad. We're all too busy playing shuffleboard. So if you think of killing somebody, don't worry about it. Just go ahead and do it. Whoever you do it to should kiss you for doing it. The soldiers up here just love the shrapnel and the tanks and the bayonets and the dum dums that let them play shuffleboard all the time--and drink beer.

Spotlight begins to dim and carnival music on a steam calliope begins to intrude, until, at the end of the speech, WANDA JUNE is drowned out and the stage is black.

WANDA JUNE

We have merry-go-rounds that don't cost anything to ride on. We have Ferris wheels. We have Little League and girls' basketball. There's a drum and bugle corps anybody can join. For people who like golf, there is a par-three golf course and a driving range, with never any waiting. If you just want to sit and loaf, why that's all right, too. Gourmet specialties are cooked to your order and served at any time of night or day...

Sudden silence.

WOODY WOODPECKER VOICE

Ha ha ha ha ha!
(pistol shot)You got me, pal.

Silence.

I do believe Wanda June's perspective on death is even sunnier than mine. Way to look on the bright side of things, WJ!

P.S. If you missed that link at the beginning, here is a clip of that scene from the film version in which former child actress and current animal rights activist Pamelyn Ferdin gives a rather brilliant reading of Vonnegut's monologue. Useless trivia: Pamelyn almost got the lead role in The Exorcist but lost out to Linda Blair. No foolin'.