Sunday, December 20, 2009

Playing Dead: A Look at the "Grayface" Phenomenon

We're a culture, not a costume, and this is not OK.

Zombie walks. Zombie face painting. Zombie-themed nights at bowling alleys and bars. All in good fun, right?

Not so fast, kemo sabe.

There are many in the living impaired rights movement, myself included, who feel that the phenomenon of living people making themselves up as "zombies" and pretending to be living impaired is highly offensive. The "grayface" fad is one of many factors which continue to make the LI feel as if they are objects of scorn and ridicule in modern day society. You living hold all the power in the world, and yet you continue to blithely make fun of those who are essentially powerless. Simply put, THIS MUST STOP!

If this is offensive:
Al Jolson in blackface.

Then so is this:

Some dude in "grayface."

ONE LAST PLEA: If you living insist on wearing the "grayface" makeup and masquerading as so-called "zombies," please try to conduct yourselves with a modicum of dignity and intelligence. In other words, not like this:

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Angelina Jolie's breasts: A fond look back at a pair of legends

Angelina Jolie: If I believed in God, this would be one of His most perfect creations.
Hollywood lost two of its greatest stars today with the revelation that Angelina Jolie underwent a double mastectomy in order to prevent breast cancer. While I applaud her courage in revealing this intimate detail to the public, I cannot help but mourn the tragic passing of her magnificent protuberances. In their honor, I have composed this photographic tribute. Feel free to peruse it. You might want to have a tissue handy... in case you're overcome by emotion, that is.

Angelina Jolie nude

Angelina Jolie nude.

Angelina Jolie nude in Gia

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Saturday, December 5, 2009

Lindsay Lohan has awfully nice boobs

Lindsay Lohan in one of her Marilyn Monroe-type poses

We tend to scoff at Lindsay Lohan these days. We snicker at her acting and make snarky comments every time she's arrested or drops out of rehab. She's become a walking, talking punchline in our tabloid-obsessed society. But whatever stones we may throw at Ms. Lohan, we cannot deny her this: the young lady has an awfully attractive pair of breasts, and she has been most generous in displaying said breasts to the public. Take, for instance, her newly-released (and already infamous) film, The Canyons. It's getting brutal reviews, but critics may be focusing too much on such elements as "plot" and "acting" when they really should be paying closer attention to the film's visual assets. For example:

Lindsay Lohan nude in The Canyons.

The keen observer will note that Ms. Lohan is wearing no bra whatsoever in this scene, allowing the viewer to get a clear view of her breasts. Now wasn't that nice of her? She didn't have to do that. She did it for you. She did it for all of us. I think we should be thanking her. And her philanthropy does not end there! Pay close attention to these images, which were also taken from The Canyons.

Lindsay Lohan showering in The Canyons.

Many of you will have noticed that Lindsay is showering in this scene and, as is the custom for people taking showers, has opted not to wear any clothes whatsoever. Furthermore, she has allowed a camera crew to film her as she takes the aforementioned shower. Her large, shapely breasts are again on prominent display. Once more, I must raise the question: why are we so mad at this woman? Some cultural watchdogs have even criticized Lindsay Lohan for her blatant imitation of Marilyn Monroe in several photo shoots, arguing that Marilyn was not exactly a good role model for young women. These people may have a point, but I think their argument is negated by photographs like the following:

Lindsay Lohan nude

This photo also makes a convincing argument in Lindsay's favor:

Lindsay Lohan, once again, nude.

As does this one:

Lindsay Lohan and Marilyn Monroe nude.

And these as well:

Lindsay Lohan -- you won't believe this -- is yet again nude.

I guess the point that I'm trying to make here is that Lindsay Lohan has very nice boobies and has allowed us, the public, to see these boobies from time to time. I, for one, am grateful. Thank you, Lindsay Lohan.

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