Ed Wood Wednesdays, week 238: The to-do list

Hope that coffee is strong, pally. Looks like a lot of work.

Let's just do this. I'll warn you in advance: this article is more for me than it is for you. This is something I've needed to do for a while now. Might as well bite the bullet.

Last week, I mentioned the vast amount of Ed Wood-related material I still have/want to cover in this series. But exactly how much are we talking about here? Well, the only way to know for sure is simply to list as much of it as I can. Maybe, once it's all laid out in front of me, it won't seem so intimidating. Or maybe it'll seem way more intimidating. Either way, we must proceed. I think a good way to start is to divide the work into various categories.

BOOKS BY ED WOOD

A candidate for coverage.

This is the biggest category, because Ed Wood wrote so damned much, both under his own name and under various pseudonyms. I've already covered numerous books, both fiction and nonfiction, written by Ed and have found this material extremely interesting and rich in quintessential Woodian themes and motifs. But these reviews involve a lot of work. Reading a book obviously takes more time than watching a movie, and Wood's books often contain so many ideas that they're difficult to summarize.

Nevertheless, here are some of the novels I want to review someday: Raped in the Grass (1968), Carnival Piece (1969), Mary-Go-Round (1972), It Takes One to Know One (1967), The Sexecutives (1968), and Hell Chicks (1968). Additionally, there is speculation that Ed may have written The Nazi Field Whores (1968), Prison Passion (1968), and The Svengali of Sex (1968). I also should do a dedicated review of Saving Grace (2024), a new edition of Ed's Sex Salvation (1975) that was published by Dennis Smithers, Jr. with an intro by Bob Blackburn.

Then there are Ed's nonfiction works. Hoo boy, are there a bunch of these. But which do I want to cover on this blog? As of now, I've got my eye on: Bloodiest Sex Crimes of History (1967), The Gay Underworld (1968), Black Sex (1970, not to be confused with Black Myth), Sex, Shrouds and Caskets (1968), The Love of the Dead (1968), Sex Museum (1968), and One Two Three (1968). And then there's A Study in the Motivation of Censorship, Sex & The Movies (1973), which Ed wrote under his own name about his own profession. I feel like these are prime candidates for this blog.

In June 2024, I bought a stack of Ed Wood (and Wood-adjacent) paperbacks from a fan who was selling his collection. Among the most exciting things in it was a copy of Ed's A Study of the Sons and Daughters of Erotica (1971). This is prime Woodiana, and it has not been widely reviewed or discussed among his fans. I must review this eventually.

After that, it gets confusing. In 1971, using the name "Frank Leonard" and drawing from source material by T.K. Peters, Eddie allegedly penned a whole series of illustrated sex manuals called A Study of the Sexual Man and A Study of the Sexual Woman for SECS Press. There seem to be two Sexual Man books and two Sexual Woman books in total. All that will have to be sorted out. Perhaps two, three, or four separate articles could eventuate.

We also have to deal with the infamous two-volume set A Study of Sexual Practices in Witchcraft and Black Magic (1971). My late colleague Greg Javer debunked the first of these books as having nothing to do with Ed, but the second book is extremely Woodian in its writing style and really deserves a review of its own. But if Eddie wrote only one of the two Witchcraft books, does that also mean that he may not have written all of the Sexual Man/Woman books? The mind reels.

BOOKS ABOUT ED WOOD

Why haven't I reviewed this?

This is another category that's getting out of hand. Boy, are you guys writing a lot of books about Eddie. And that's great. But I feel guilty about not covering more of these in depth on the blog. In the past, I've reviewed books by Angel Scott, Will Pfeiffer, James Pontolillo, Bob Blackburn, and David C. Hayes. But I've never fully reviewed any of these:

• Ed Wood, Mad Genius: A Critical Study of the Films (2009) by Rob Craig

• The Cinematic Misadventures of Ed Wood (2015) by Andrew J. Rauch and Charles E. Pratt, Jr.

• Scripts from the Crypt: Bride of the Monster (2015) by Gary D. Rhodes and Tom Weaver

• Ed Wood and the Lost Lugosi Screenplays (2016) by Gary D. Rhodes and Tom Weaver

• Plan 9 from Outer Space (Midnight Movie Monograms) (2021) by Katherine Coldiron

• Ed Wood: Taxi Driver (2016) by Hollis James

• Ed Wood, the Early Years (2002) by Jean Marie Stine

• The Golden Turkey Awards (1980) by Harry and Michael Medved

• Bad Mags, Volume 1: The Strangest, Sleaziest, and Most Unusual Periodicals Ever Published! (2008) by Tom Brinkmann

• Plan 9 from Outer Space: The Novelization (2024) by Bret Nelson

Were there but world enough and time, I'd read and review all of these. But that's just not possible. Of the ones listed above, the Brinkmann, Coldiron, and Rhodes books are really calling out to me. The Craig and Rauch books are lengthy, career-spanning works, so they may be difficult to describe accurately. And I'm sure that there are plenty more that I'm missing. For instance, there seems to be an entire cottage industry of Plan 9 from Outer Space (1957) adaptations, sequels, prequels, and spinoffs like this one and this one and this one and this one and this one.

ARTICLES ABOUT WOOD ASSOCIATES

One of the most exciting and appealing aspects of Woodology is that Ed Wood surrounded himself with such colorful people, most of whom ended up working on his movies. Many of these folks had lives every bit as eventful and fascinating as Ed's own and would make for good articles. I've written about these folks as often as I can, but there is still plenty more ground to cover here. A few ideas:

• A look at the career of character actor Billy Benedict (1917-1999), who appeared in Bride of the Monster but was in many other films, especially the Bowery Boys franchise.

• A belated review of Facts, Fictions, and the Forbidden Predictions of the Amazing Criswell (2023) by Edwin Lee Caulfield. I've referenced this book a few times but have never covered it in full.

• A review of Glamour Ghoul: The Passions and Pains of the Real Vampira, Maila Nurmi (2021) by Sandra Niemi.

• A look at the documentaries Vampira: The Movie (2006) and Vampira and Me (2012).

• A retrospective of the life and career of actor Timothy Farrell (1922-1989), covering his work with Ed Wood, his other film and TV roles, and his eventful (and alarming) life after show business.

• A review of the comic Tor Love Betty (1991), inspired by Tor Johnson (1903-1971) and Bettie Page (1923-2008).

• Reviews of Tor Johnson's other film and TV roles. I wanted to do a whole series-within-a-series called "The Big Bald Films of Tor Johnson," inspired by Dr. Gangrene's wonderful YouTube series, The Fantastic Films of Vincent Price.

• A review of Joanna Lee's A Difficult Woman in Hollywood (1999).

ARTICLES ABOUT ED WOOD'S FILMS

Ed Wood is still best known for his movies, especially the ones he made in his 1950s heyday, so covering those should be a big part of this series. Every once in a while, I must remind myself to do something about Plan 9, Bride of the Monster (1955), or Glen or Glenda (1953) because that's what Eddie's fans want to read. If I were following this series, it's what I would want to read. And, sure enough, I have some ideas for articles about particular aspects of those movies. A few I'll share:

• Reviews of the individual Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes that use Ed Wood's movies. I especially want to write about their treatment of Bride of the Monster, since that was my introduction to MST3K.

• Reviews of the individual Svengoolie episodes that use Ed Wood's movies. I'm particularly keen to discuss Sven's take on Night of the Ghouls (1959). Certainly, this must have been one of the first times that long-lost film aired on television.

• An entire article about the stock music used in Plan 9 from Outer Space. I also want to do an article about the various Plan 9 soundtrack albums floating around out there, plus whatever Wood-related vinyl exists on the market. For instance, have you heard of The Golden Turkey Album (1985) from Rhino? One problem here is that vintage albums are getting quite expensive, and even some rarer CDs can set you back a bit.

• An essay about the character of Eros (Dudley Manlove) in Plan 9 and how "right" or "wrong" he was in his judgments and actions throughout the film.

• An exploration of the musical stage adaptations of Plan 9. I think there might be more than one, but I'm not sure. I will have to get my facts straight about this topic. I've sampled a few of these, and they didn't match up perfectly, so I'm lost. Maybe they're different productions of the same musical? Help me out here.

I'd also be curious to know from readers if there are particular movies from the Ed Wood canon that I've given short shrift and that deserve more respect in this series. I've long felt, for instance, that I've never given The Sun Was Setting (1951) the full attention it merits. Should I try to revisit Crossroads of Laredo (1948/1995) or Crossroad Avenger (1953) as well? It's worth considering.

Looking over all of what I've just outlined, I see that my to-do list is utterly impossible. The only way to complete it is to quit my job and spend all day, every day writing and researching articles about Edward D. Wood, Jr. for the rest of my life. And I'd love to do just that, but I'm not sure how I'd have rent money and medical insurance. If you can figure out a way for me to devote all my waking hours to Ed Wood without ending up homeless, please get in touch.