Forgive me for double-dipping on the Dragnet nostalgia, but yesterday's post reminded me of something I absolutely must share with you!
|Gannon and Friday from Dragnet 1967; Blue Boy|
Back in 1995, when Nick at Nite was still quite awesome, one of the staples of their schedule was Dragnet 1967, the infamous hippie-era revival of the straightlaced police procedural in which uptight Joe Friday came into contact with the "free love" generation and didn't like what he saw one bit. That series' very first episode, "The LSD Story" (a.k.a. "The Big LSD") from January 12 1967, was also its most beloved and notorious, thanks largely to Michael Burns' character "Blue Boy", an acid casualty who painted half his face blue. In case you've never seen the "Blue Boy" episode, here's a taste:
Okay, are we all up to speed? Great. Well, anyway...
Back in the summer of 1995, as part of its 10th anniversary celebration, Nick at Nite put out a one-time only magazine filled with articles and trivia about some of the shows on its lineup. Easily, the best feature of the magazine was a page of Dragnet finger puppets by artist Chip Wass! For the benefit of you, my readers, I have decided to scan and post these finger puppets along with the original instructions and scripts included in the Nick at Nite magazine from 1995.
|Gannon and Friday|
|Blue Boy and some props (sugar cubes, badge, coffee cup)|
|Joe Friday's car from Dragnet 1967|
ALL RIGHT PAL, cut along the dotted lines, including the small notches on the tabs. Slide or tape the notches together. If you want to use the props, cut a small slot between each character's arms and torso, then insert the tab of the prop. Tape the white band below the car against the edge of a table and your scene is set. Now keep your hands where we can see them.
CUT 'EM OUT, PUT 'EM TOGETHER, AND START TALKING IN A CLIPPED, STACCATO RHYTHM. USE OUR SAMPLE DIALOGUE OR WRITE YOUR OWN... AND DON'T TRY ANYTHING WITH THOSE SCISSORS.
From Episode #1:
GANNON: Stand still.
BLUE BOY: REALITY, man, r e a l i t y . I could see the center of the earth, purple flame down there--the pilot light, all the way down there, purple flame, the pilot light. The pilot light of, of all creation.
GANNON: He's clean, Joe, except for these. (Bill displays five sugar cubes in his palm.)
BB: Reality, r e a l i t y .
FRIDAY: What' s your name, son?
BB: You can see my name i f y o u look ha r d eno u g h.
FRIDAY: C'mon now, what's your name?
BB: D O N ' T y o u k now my name? MY NAME'S BLUE BOY!
GANNON: What do you think, Joe? Cartwheels?
FRIDAY: Sugar cubes. I'll make you book he's been dropping that acid we've been hearing about. All right, son, you're under arrest. It's our duty to advise you of your constitutional rights. You have the right to remain silent and any statement you make may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to the presence of an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be appointed before any questioning. Do you understand that?
BB: T h e r e I a m . I'm over there now. I'm not here anymore. My hair is green and I'm a tree.
If you prefer soliloquizing with your finger puppets, here's Joe Friday's immortal "John Law" speech from Episode #6:
FRIDAY: Sure, it's awkward having a policeman in the house. Friends drop in, a man with a badge answers the door. The temperature drops 20 degrees. You throw a party and everybody's a comedian. "Don't drink too much," somebody says, "or the man with the badge will run you in." Or "How's it going, Dick Tracy? How many jay-walkers did you pinch today?" Then there's always the one that wants to know how many apples you stole. All at once you've lost your first name: You're a cop, a flatfoot, a bull, a dick, John Law. You're the fuzz, the heat, you're poison, you're trouble, you're bad news. They call you everything but never a policeman.
The dialogue you just read was TRUE.