Sunday, December 16, 2018

Is it already time for another comics roundup? Apparently.

Yep. In colors. Plural. We're going all out here.

Look. If you read this blog, you already know the deal. Occasionally, I like to clear off the images I have saved to my computer and start fresh. Specifically, these are various parodies of newspaper comics that I've done over the last couple of months. That's what this is. Not into that? Then this isn't the article for you. Move on to something else.

Still here? Then let's roll. As always, click on the images to see them at full size. The internet's been around for a while now. I shouldn't have to tell you that kind of thing.

The last time I did a post like this, it was all Mary Worth ones because there were so many of them. And I won't lie to you; there are lots of Mary Worth ones this time, too. In fact, let's get those out of the way first.

Remember Mary's grumpy neighbor, Saul Wynter? No? Well, anyway, he got a new dog to replace his old, dead one. And he was determined to feed his new friend, adorably named Greta, only the best.

Saul and Greta then shared a meal together, which reminded me of another movie classic.

Saul's progress was not unnoticed by his neighbors. Again, I took the writing in... another direction.

And yet another direction.

Did you think this story was over? Ha! At that point, having united Saul and Greta, Mary was tasked with finding a new home for a one-eyed cat named Libby. I thought it would be a good opportunity for a subtle crossover with another classic strip.

Mary eventually agreed to foster Libby herself, but there were problems on the horizon for both of them. The trouble started when Mary's useless sometimes boyfriend Jeff showed up for free chow.

No, just kidding. They didn't eat the cat. But the night still went badly. See for yourself.

Jeff soon ran away like a bitch, but not before spouting one of the aphorisms Mary Worth is known for.

Forced to choose between her man and her pet, Mary chose... her man. Darn. But she did find Libby a new home.

And Jeff and Mary were reunited. There were some technical hiccups along the way.

The story still hasn't concluded -- Mary is going through Cat Abandoner's Remorse -- but that's all the Mary Worth I have for you at the moment.

Let's move on to Rex Morgan, M.D. The last few months have been about this guy named Jordan, a chef who wants to start his own restaurant. He's engaged to Rex's nurse, whose name escapes me at the moment. Anyway, he's quite the good Samaritan, as seen in this vignette.

But then, the story was about Jordan trying to help this homeless guy named Red, whom he'd once known in high school.

Jordan reached out to Red in ways that were... sometimes baffling.

Jordan even took Red to see Rex himself. And hilarity ensued.

Red's parents got dragged into this mess.

As did his brothers.

But don't worry. Red is fine, I think. See for yourself.

Moving on to Judge Parker. I can't even begin to summarize what's happening in that one. Neither could the author, for that matter. But that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun with this long-running soaper.

You need to know that there's a character named April who's like a spy/mercenary or something, and she's on the run. Also, she's married-ish to the younger of the two Judge Parkers, Randy. Maybe she's legally dead, though. I don't really know. April's way shady dad, Norton, is a continuing character in the strip, too. And April's mother just showed up out of nowhere. Or did she? I had a conspiracy theory about that.

Meanwhile, the older of the Judge Parkers, Alan, has reuinted with his estranged trophy wife. Cute? Not hardly.

Alan and Randy had more bad news headed their way.

And to top it all off, Norton is in custody, and the feds are trying to convince him that April is dead. The photographic evidence is not too convincing, though.

That does it for Judge Parker. I read it every day, and it still makes no damned sense at all.

Dennis the Menace is a newspaper perennial that I still read occasionally. And it has been the basis for a few parodies here over the years. In this next one, for instance, I try to inject a note of realism into the strip by imagining how this conversation would really go down, i.e. with sadness and silence.

Too dark? Not your speed? Well, here's Mr. Wilson as a Loony Tunes character.

But we should never forget that Dennis the Menace is about the title character saying the darnedest things. As demonstrated here:

I also envisioned a spinoff for Dennis' long-suffering, taciturn sidekick Joey, pairing him up with an equally underused character from Snuffy Smith. Trust me, these characters have so much in common, including being friends with idiots.

Just for gits and shiggles, here are some one-offs, including a take on the aforementioned Snuffy Smith.

Here's a Baby Boom.

A random Gasoline Alley.

A spare Nancy.

And yet another cheap shot at the expense of Crock's artwork.

This is just something about a statue of Archie Andrews from Archie. I thought he reminded me of someone else in pop culture.

And this half-formed Mark Trail parody in which I envision Mark's malformed, Bizarro-esque counterpart. He has a mean streak a mile wide, and everything he says is sarcastic!

Chugging toward that finish line, folks. Here are a couple of Hi & Lois takeoffs. In this one, we see that Hi likes to pit his children against each other.

The stress has driven Dot Flagston to alcoholism.

Blondie gives me some inspiration, too. I thought a recent strip needed a couple more panels to be complete.

And here's my conception of what Dagwood's boss, Julius Dithers, might have looked like in his younger days.

We can't forget The Family Circus, can we? Here are a couple of adventures starring the oldest child, Billy.

One of my many strange obsessions is taking the malformed characters from Six Chix and dropping them into other contexts. There was this one guy whose appearance just struck me as funny for some reason. First, I turned him into a werewolf.

Then into Lee Harvey Oswald.

Eventually, I knew there needed to be a whole army of clones based on this guy. They could form a band.

And then there was this other Six Chix character I turned into Yoda.

Was I done with Six Chix? I was not.

We'll close out this article with a few originals. These aren't parodies of any specific strip, just comedic ideas in comic strip form. This, for instance, was my attempt at creating a gag-a-day strip based around the adventures of Ernest Hemingway.

Same deal, but Sammy Davis, Jr.

Here's something about Twitter, where I spend 23 hours a day.

And lastly, a little joke about some hidden perversion in The Flintstones.

Hee haw and Merry Christmas! Signed, Sam Wainwright.