Ed Wood's Warm Angora Wishes: "The Green Dragon (Inspired by 'Glen or Glenda')"

I've heard he sits on your doorstep.

NOTE: This article continues my coverage of Ed Wood's Warm Angora Wishes and Rubber Octopus Dreams (Arcane Shadows Press, 2024).

The story: "The Green Dragon (Inspired by Glen or Glenda)" by Kurt McCoy

Bela Lugosi in Glen or Glenda.

Synopsis: A large, scaly, green dragon rises up from the sea and approaches a high-rise building in an unnamed city. The monster slithers up to the top and enters the penthouse laboratory of a strange scientist named Dr. Vorkhoff. The dragon declares, as usual, that it is hungry. Vorkhoff and the dragon gaze at a magical obsidian mirror, which allows them to view all the people in the city below them. They single out an avid pulp fiction reader named Denis Davis. Denis looks at his own reflection in a window and sees a woman named Denise staring back at him.

Soon, Denis becomes obsessed with Denise to the point that his feminine alter ego is all he can think about. Eventually, when he can stand it no longer, he ventures into a department store and pretends to buy a new wardrobe for his "twin sister." An understanding sales clerk helps him pick out some outfits, plus lingerie and makeup. It takes Denis a while to get used to these things, especially the torturous high heels.

When he ventures out in public in women's clothing for the first time, Denis is initially thrilled to see the world through fresh eyes. Soon, though, he is harassed by some police officers who taunt him and beat him nearly to death. The badly-injured Denis finds himself in the office of Dr. Vorkhoff, who says the young man is lucky to be alive. But Denis is more worried about Denise. The doctor says that, in order for Denise to survive, Denis must make a great sacrifice. The man agrees.

Vorkhoff performs a sex change on Denis, who now is permanently Denise. As payment, Vorkhoff has taken Denis' penis and placed it in a decorative coffin. But Denise has to rush out of the building to keep away from the hungry dragon. Once outside, Denise sees the reflection of Denis as he withers and dies, a tragic but necessary sacrifice. Where Denis merely sat on the sidelines and watched the world go by, Denise will live her life to the fullest. Back in the penthouse, Vorkhoff and the dragon gaze into the mirror to select their next subject.

Excerpt:

For a moment he found himself face to face with a beautiful woman, his blue eyes and hers locked in mutual surprise. Denis started to say something before he could think of anything to say. She opened her mouth then abruptly closed it at the same time. They both laughed at their shared awkwardness.

Reflections: When I first saw Glen or Glenda (1953) in 1992 and conned a few friends into seeing it with me, the character we all imitated afterward was Bela Lugosi's mysterious Scientist. (That's how he's identified in the credits, so that's what I'm calling him.) We'd never seen anyone like him in any movie. Even in the wild and wooly pantheon of Ed Wood, the Scientist is one strange man: a solitary, nameless alchemist who dwells in an eerie yet elegant laboratory/den filled with ghoulish bric-a-brac. From this lonely place, which seemingly exists outside the normal time-space continuum, he observes and guides the mortals who dwell beneath him. He has the powers of a god and can change men into women with a wave of his aged hand.

In Ed Wood (1994), even Eddie (Johnny Depp) has some trouble when he tries to explain the Scientist character to Bela (Martin Landau). Their conversation goes like so:

ED: Your part's a little different. You're like the god that looks over all the characters and oversees everything. 

BELA: I don't understand.

ED: You control everyone's fate. You're like the puppet master.

BELA: Ah, so I pull the strings!

ED: Yes, you pull the strings. "Pull the strings." I like that!

The Man in the Planet (Jack Fisk)

The only character in movie history who might be able to relate to the Scientist is the Man in the Planet (Jack Fisk) from David Lynch's Eraserhead (1977). They have similar jobs, controlling the lives of others from a purgatorial wasteland. The near-constant drone of background noise in Eraserhead is oddly reminiscent of Glen or Glenda as well, since Lugosi's appearances as the Scientist are often underscored by the sounds of thunder and howling wind. But the shirtless, badly-burned Man in the Planet is more like a janitor or an elevator operator than a true god. Plus, he doesn't say a solitary word in his movie. The Scientist in Glen or Glenda, on the other hand, is quite verbose, given to emotional outbursts, baffling non-sequiturs, and rambling philosophical speeches. 

In one of the Scientist's best-remembered soliloquys, he warns us of "the big green dragon who sits on your doorstep." Author Kurt McCoy has used this classic line as the basis for an entire story, turning the dragon into a full-fledged, speaking character. McCoy has also given the Scientist an actual name (Dr. Vorkhoff) and has placed his lab in a physical location (the weirdly ancient top floor of an otherwise-modern skyscraper). But the Scientist retains his inscrutability. Who is this man? Why does he do what he does? And how? What are the limits of his power? "The Green Dragon" doesn't exactly answer those questions, but it does expand intriguingly upon what we see in Glen or Glenda.

Who knows? Maybe Vorkhoff and his dragon pal are still at it somewhere, gazing through their enchanted mirror in search of another wayward soul. Bonus points to McCoy, by the way, for zeroing in on the fact that mirrors and reflections were of major importance to Ed Wood, both in his work and in his life. Don't forget that Ed once wrote a whole story called "Never a Stupid Reflection" (1973). I somehow get the impression that Eddie spent many hours contemplating his own reflection, especially when he was all dressed up in his finest angora.