1970s Hardee's commercials were beautifully chaotic

Gilbert Giddyup (left) and Speedy McGreedy shill for Hardee's.

Hardee's was not part of my childhood, at least not to any great extent. The restaurant chain had only a marginal presence in mid-Michigan in the 1970s and 1980s, lagging behind McDonald's and Burger King, plus KFC, Wendy's, Arby's, Taco Bell, and numerous others. I can only remember going to Hardee's with my family on a handful of occasions in my youth. A trip there was decidedly out of the ordinary. A big deal, you might say.

I cannot even recall seeing a single TV commercial for Hardee's when I was growing up. While I was very familiar with the antics of Ronald McDonald, Grimace, and the Hamburglar, I was denied the animated adventures of such Hardee's mascots as Gilbert Giddyup, Speedy McGreedy, and Supermouth. Were these Hardee's characters part of your childhood? Did you dream about them the way I used to dream of the residents of McDonaldland? 

A plush Gilbert.

While the Ronald McDonald character first started appearing in TV commercials in the early 1960s, he did not become the center of his own psychedelic fictional universe until 1971. That's when the ad agency of Needham, Harper & Steers unveiled its ambitious "McDonaldland" campaign, taking obvious inspiration from the 1969 TV show H.R. Pufnstuf. The creators of that show, Sid and Marty Krofft, successfully sued McDonald's for copyright infringement in 1977. 

Ultimately, though, the Kroffts were powerless to stop the marketing juggernaut that was Ronald McDonald. The fast food chain's colorful commercials continued for years, and they sold plenty of hamburgers, milkshakes, French fries, and Happy Meals to American children until the company eventually yielded to public pressure sometime in the early 2000s and gradually phased out the ad campaign. Nostalgia for the commercials remains high even now, and McDonald's occasionally flirts with bringing the beloved characters out of retirement. (Witness the Grimace Shake of 2023.)

Like Burger King, Hardee's took note of McDonald's marketing success and launched its own kid-focused TV ad campaign in the 1970s. While McDonald's opted for commercials featuring costumed actors, as did Burger King, Hardee's chose to combine animation with live-action footage in its frantic, quasi-surreal TV spots. These were the ads I wish I'd seen as a child. I think I would have loved them at the time.

The main character in this campaign—the Hardee's equivalent of Ronald McDonald—is a mustachioed cowboy named Gilbert Giddyup, notable for sporting a neckerchief, a sheriff's badge, and a ten-gallon hat full of bullet holes. Interestingly, Gilbert's voice was provided by actor Bob McFadden, who also worked on Thundercats, Milton the Monster, and numerous Rankin-Bass specials. While I didn't grow up with Gilbert, others must have. His image lives on through plush toys, tote bags, and plastic drinking glasses.

Since the campaign is built around an Old West lawman, you might think that the entire Hardee's universe would be cowboy-themed. You'd be wrong. Gilbert's main antagonist is "burger rustler" Speedy McGreedy, a purple-suited, gravelly-voiced gangster type. Speedy is obviously an answer to the Hamburgler, but his relationship to Gilbert is unclear since their conversations are very brief and limited to the subject of hamburgers. In the ads I saw, Speedy never rustled a single burger; Gilbert was only too happy to give him free burgers every time he came to Hardee's.

Gilbert and Speedy are just two elements in these incredibly busy, overpopulated ads. Other elements include (but are not limited to): 

• Fun Machine, an anthropomorphic, prize-dispensing vending machine. He and Gilbert seem to hang out occasionally.

• Numerous humanoid characters with grotesquely oversized mouths and appetites to match. We have: Supermouth (a cape-wearing superhero), Frankenstein Mouth (a Boris Karloff-type monster), Motorcycle Mouth (a Brando-esque biker), and the Musketeer Mouths (a trio of swordsmen on horseback). Nearly always, it's Speedy who brings these ravenous, big-mouthed characters to Hardee's. Frankenstein Mouth is actually Speedy's creation, since our burger rustler apparently dabbles in mad science on the side. The others just seem to find Speedy, wherever he is.

• A chorus of human children singing a parody of the song "Hello, Dolly" called "Hello, Hardee's." Sample lyrics: "Hello, Hardee's/Well, hello, Hardees/Our mouths have loved your taste since way back when!" At least that's what I think they're singing. The song is so fast and so jumbled, it's difficult to tell.

The thing is, a typical Hardee's commercial is shapeless, formless, and totally without direction. Fade in on Speedy talking to a big-mouthed character. Cut to Gilbert. Back to Speedy. Cut to the kids singing. Back to Gilbert and Speedy. Back to the kids. They're all like that. They're so busy giving us newer and stranger mascots every few seconds that they barely have time to show the food. I honestly don't know if this ad campaign worked or not, but I notice that Hardee's never overtook McDonald's in the fast food game.