(today's zomby) AND A WORLD WITHOUT ZINC!

You may never get a chance to see Squawker & The Stiff, but here's A World Without Zinc to tide you over.

(today's zomby) AND ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ELSE!

(today's zomby) FEATURING A GUEST APPEARANCE BY ZIGGY!

(no zomby today) INSTEAD, I PRESENT MY FAVORITE CARTOON EVER!

Ha ha ha HAAAA ha!!!!!

Today, dearest readers, it is my birthday. And my present to you and to myself is that I am not doing another torturous Zomby!!!! cartoon today. Instead, I have decided to present to you the absolute greatest cartoon of all time, 1954's Alley to Bali with Woody Woodpecker.

Have you ever thought back to some weird show, movie, or cartoon you saw as a kid and asked yourself, "Did I really see that or just imagine it?" That's exactly my history with Alley to Bali. It's a Woody Woodpecker cartoon, sure, but not like any other Woody Woodpecker cartoon I have ever seen. Normally, Woody is a sort of avian variation on Bugs Bunny, the rascally trickster getting on the nerves of some comedic foil. Here, though, he is basically is the foil. More specifically, he is one of two foils. His partner in punishment is the rather obscure Buzz Buzzard. If nothing else, this cartoon gives us a Woody and Buzz forty years before Toy Story.

I don't want to spoil any of the strange, surreal, and unsettling things that happen in this cartoon. I just want you to watch it.


Woody Woodpecker - Alley to Bali by Lupus-novus

(today's zomby) AND PLAN 10 FROM OUTER SPACE!

If the cartoon makes no sense to you, then it's a cinch you haven't seen this:

(today's zomby) AND 1970s MONSTER CEREAL NOSTALGIA!

Boy oh boy! Leave it to Zomby to get himself in another pickle, am I right? It's one thing after another with this guy! But speaking of tasty snacks with deadly consequences, here are some vintage 1970s promotional records by the three General Mills "monster cereal" mascots, Count Chocula, Frankenberry, and Boo Berry. (Fruit Brute is mysteriously AWOL and Yummy Mummy had not been invented.) These originally came as freebies with boxes of the cereal themselves circa 1979, and now they're here for your enjoyment. So just close your eyes and try to pretend that Boris Karloff, Bela Lugosi, and Peter Lorre have formed the worst sketch comedy troupe in all of human history. Enjoy!








To be fair, that last one is actually pretty funny -- a showbiz satire in which Count Chocula wins a monster lookalike contest, goes to Hollywood, and finds that Tinseltown isn't what it's cracked up to be. I'm especially taken by the character of "Gary Glamor," the sleazy, glad-handing director who willingly endangers the health of his newfound "star." One thing that's never brought up is that this is all taking place in what seems to be broad daylight, which should pose a problem for a vampire.

(today's zomby) AND A MIND-MELTING OPTICAL ILLUSION!

And here's a little something I like to call the "purple nurple." (Although it is known in some parts of the world as the "harlequin's rectum.")

To set the mood for the optical illusion, please use the following song as a soundtrack:

(zomby exercises the nuclear option) AND NINJA TERMINATOR!

Hello, one and all.

I'll be out of town for the Labor Day weekend, so no updates on this blog until next Tuesday. But do you think I'd leave you with no entertainment options for four whole days? Hell no! What kind of zombie do you think I am?

Here is a clip from the indescribably great movie Ninja Terminator. In my absence, this movie is in charge. Obey it as you would me.

Your pal in zombiedom,

Wayne Kotke