Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Loop Odyssey, Part Seven by Greg Dziawer

South of the border, down Mexico way: Another Ed Wood loop has been identified.

¡Libre al fin!

A series containing The Jailer.
"He did a loop where he played a Mexican jailer. He had a dildo and a big sombrero." So remembered cinematographer Ted Gorley of his occasional employer Ed Wood in Rudolph Grey's Nightmare of Ecstasy back in 1992.

Now, a full quarter century after Grey ID'ed this particular loop simply as The Jailer in the book's annotated filmography (pg. 215), I finally came across it online a few days ago. This film has long been something of a Holy Grail for me. I stopped dead in my tracks when I looked at the screencaps for a loop titled Prisoner Love Making. The very first image was of a shirtless jailer in a sombrero. 

Although the loop was posted well over a year ago to a site called Vintage 8mm Porn, the page does not credit Ed's appearance. I quickly downloaded the loop and verified that it is, indeed, Ed.

There is no title card, but the loop opens on a sign on the wall that concisely establishes the narrative: PRISONERS LOVEMAKING LIMIT 15 MINUTES. This being an 8mm loop on a 200-foot reel, they'll only need eight minutes or so. The speed of the transfer is a tad slow, evident in the movements, and runs over nine and half minutes. Although the color is nearly gone, the image quality is serviceable.

The camera pulls back from a close-up of the sign to reveal a prisoner, wearing a hat that says "Vacationing at Leavenworth," anxiously pacing the floor in a room with a brick wall as backdrop. The shirtless jailer, holding a rifle with a pistol tucked into his pants, enters the shot from the left with a girl in a nightie. Wearing a ridiculously large sombrero, he pushes the girl into the prisoner's arms and the camera assumes its focus on the couple. The sex scene is rather perfunctory, taking place on a mattress right on the floor of the set... er, jail, I mean. A grated window adorns the wall above them.

Ed appears for a total of six shots throughout the film, the camera sporadically cutting away to him, off to the right of the couple having sex. The cutaways are blink-and-you'll-miss-it brief, on average just two seconds or so. In total, Ed appears onscreen for under 15 seconds in total, but he memorably closes it out, jerking a dildo while scrunching up his face comically. His demeanor in the earlier shots is inscrutable, his back sometimes to us or glaring stoically at the couple.

Ed Wood is a jailer in Prisoner Love Making.
Released under the label The Best of the NM Series as loop #17, Prisoner Love Making is certainly the fabled jailer loop mentioned in Grey's book. The box cover carries a 1974 copyright, but the loop is likely a few years older. Cinematically, we have yet to evolve into the dreamy mannerist loops we've obsessed over here in the Wood Loop Odyssey, or arrived at subtitling. The other loops in the NM series, and the index numbers I've seen go as high as 30, also betray the same more primitive yet functional artistry. Undoubtedly, the NM 1974 releases are of loops that Noel Bloom/Cinema Classics had issued earlier.

Although the set is very spartan, the iron grate over the (fake) window is the same as the one above the kitchen sink in The Young Marrieds. The brick wall backdrop shows up often in early Cinema Classics loops, and even serves as a set for photos from Sexual Practices in Witchcraft and Black Magic Book 1.

For those who only read about it and wondered if it would ever turn up, the answer is yes. In fact, for a select few in-the-know Woodologists, the loop was passed around on tape for years. For me, I can now definitively state of Ed's certain involvement in a loop, even if only this brief but wonderful cameo.
Bonus: Some uncensored, mildly NSFW images related to Prisoner Love Making are available at the Ed Wood Wednesdays Tumblr. Go get 'em. The entire movie has been uploaded here. It is obviously NSFW, but those who count themselves as Ed Wood fans should see it.

Wednesday, August 9, 2017

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood Magazine Odyssey, Part Fifteen by Greg Dziawer

Looks like at least two pages to me.

NOTE: Greg Dziawer has been looking through those 1970s adult magazines for Ed Wood's work again. His article is NSFW and for mature audiences only, so it's been moved to the Ed Wood Wednesdays Tumblr.  The main article is here with additional related images here. If you're over 18 and comfortable with explicit material, enjoy. - J.B.

Sunday, August 6, 2017

I'm sorry, Aunt May. I'm sorry.

Guest appearance by Vera Miles. Thanks, Vera.

I fully realize that the character of Aunt May, Peter Parker's nigh-saintly guardian in The Amazing Spider-Man, has undergone a rather dramatic makeover in the movies. She was played by Sally Field in the previous Spider-Man film series, and she's played by Marisa Tomei in the current one. But the Aunt May of my own youth—the one depicted in the Marvel comic books I grew up on—was an impossibly decrepit old lady with a gaunt, haggard appearance and a wardrobe out of the 1890s. She was supposed to be lovable, I think, but I found her off-putting and even frightening, more threatening in her own way than any of Spidey's declared foes. Imagine the Crypt-Keeper dressed as Granny from Looney Tunes.

Anyway, the "classic" Aunt May lives on in the daily Amazing Spider-Man newspaper comic. And she's as unsettling as ever, as evidenced by today's strip. So I decided to have a little fun with her, Hitchcock style. No offense, Aunt May. Really.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Ed Wood Wednesdays: The Wood-Yorty Odyssey, Part One by Greg Dziawer

Three-time Los Angeles mayor Sam Yorty had a connection to our own Edward D. Wood, Jr.

Mayor Yorty and Mr. Hyde

Logo for Yorty's local chat show.
In Rudolph Grey's Nightmare of Ecstasy: The Life and Art of Edward D. Wood, Jr. (1992), actor Conrad Brooks claims that, circa 1967, Wood "was either driving a cab or working for Sam Yorty, writing campaign speeches." In that same book, Grey states that Ed Wood worked for Sam Yorty in 1964 at KTTV Channel 11 in Los Angeles and "may well have directed segments" of Yorty's local talk show.

Mayor Sam, as he was sometimes affectionately known, endured three tumultuous terms as Mayor of Los Angeles from 1963 through 1971. Although he remained active in politics before and after this, including two terms in the House of Representatives from 1951 to 1955, his occasional appearances on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, per the IMDb, all occurred during his stint as Mayor. Yorty also helmed his own talk show in LA, on and off again, through the '60s and '70s, and even appeared on Truth or Consequences with host Bob Barker. 

As we begin to examine the connections between Wood and Yorty, consider the following pieces of evidence:

  • Buddy Hyde is a name familiar to serious Wood fans, no doubt. He is quoted a handful of times in Nightmare of Ecstasy. Buddy produced Cris' TV show Criswell Predicts. Additionally, Buddy and Cris were invited by Ed to attend the shoot of Necromania and peruse the film's two principal sets. Furthermore, Ed and John Agar stopped by to see Buddy in 1977 to borrow some cash for booze. Buddy attended Ed's funeral service, as did Cris. And Buddy, too, worked for Sam Yorty. 
  • Ed has also been credited as working on the TV series Criswell Predicts

So what does all of this mean?

I was googling a couple of weeks ago, digging into Sam Yorty, wondering if I could somehow find a clue that linked to Ed's involvement with the Mayor. Not far into it, I hit upon an article that startled me. It was about Buddy Hyde.

From a newspaper story about Hyde.
The article, published twice locally in Hyde's hometown of Hagerstown, MD (on October 5 and 7, respectively), is a treasure-trove of relevant details. Apart from painting a very reverential portrait of Hyde—deservedly so, as the article reveals a fascinating career—we learn of Hyde's close association with Mayor Sam Yorty. (And Christine Jorgensen?!?) 

If Ed did, indeed, work on shoots for Yorty's LA-market talk show as early as 1964, we have to wonder if Buddy was also there. Despite the quote in Nightmare of Ecstasy that Hyde produced Criswell Predicts in the late '60s, the show itself—originally 15 minutes of filler also sometimes repeated and scattered throughout the day's schedule—aired from 1953 through 1961, initially on LA's Channel 13 KCOP. Could Ed and Buddy have linked up that early, and with Cris? 

This is just the starting point for this Odyssey, ultimately endeavoring to identify the nature of Ed's work for Mayor Sam Yorty. As an accountant would say, we are also promised positive externalities. Namely Criswell. And a better handle on Cris' relationship with Ed, as well as a clearer understanding of the famed psychic's TV series, radio show, and syndicated newspaper column. 

As one final bit of ephemera: Criswell name-checked Buddy Hyde in that selfsame column, which by then was in its final days. (Also a common theme in Criswell Predicts: predicting that female impersonators would stage The Women in Vegas, "creating a new trend.") By 1975, Criswell's column retained the tagline "An Accurate Glimpse of Your Future," but Cris' picture had been replaced by a simple graphic image of an observatory and a few surrounding planets. 

Ed's star, too, had disappeared from the firmament, though not for long.

We'll return to the Wood Yorty Odyssey here, in future Ed Wood Wednesdays, and untangle the impossible story of Ed's involvement in the day-to-day dialogue of the national political scene during a cataclysmic time. 

And—oh yeah—while he was involved in that, he was also writing porn.

NOTE: Additional newspaper clippings related to Buddy Hyde and Criswell can be found at the Ed Wood Wednesdays Tumblr.

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

The existential ennui of Jeffy

Alone. Why must he be alone?

Context is everything. Bil Keane's heartwarming Family Circus is a single-panel feature, meaning that we really only get to see a few seconds of the characters' lives at a time. Maybe if we saw what happened right before and right after, we'd have a different view of the proceedings. So it is with today's cartoon. Jeffy is really only there to be a sounding board for Dolly. But what if the larger, more interesting story were all about Jeffy? That's what I've tried to convey here.

Speaking of recontextualizing the funnies, here's my pitch for a spin-off of Crock.  It'd be about the adventures of a imaginative, rambunctious boy and his best friend, a sassy talking vulture. You might think this looks a little familiar, but trust me -- it's all original, baby.

Nothing second-hand about this.

And just to round things out, here's a little comic I pieced together out of panels from Mark Trail and Rex Morgan, M.D. Enjoy.

You'd best not talk to Jules that way, June.