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| This lady from Danish International Films enjoys a lollipop. |
Wood in Bloom: Little Flowers
Late last week, I was sitting around watching porn loops, if you can believe it. Specifically, 8mm loops from the early '70s, by inference part of the larger orbit of short pornographic films that are somehow connected to Edward D. Wood, Jr.
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| A massive swirled lollipop in Petite Fleur. |
For me, it was revelatory to spot another massive swirled lollipop, just like the one from the Danish International logo. Danish International Films was a silent 8mm home-market loop series produced by Noel Bloom, son of Ed's boss Bernie Bloom at a variety of adult magazine imprints from the late 1960's through 1978, the year of Ed's passing. The series initiated circa 1972, by my estimation, running through 1976. Some films were subtitled, some also appearing on the imprints of other related loop series, like Sex & the Gun, which began as a Cinema Classics loop. The bedspreads and furniture and set decorations link up with the first 19 loops produced in the Boom-produced Swedish Erotica series. Those loops are commonly attributed to Ed Wood. The set decorations and associated bric a brac also link up with Necromania and The Young Marrieds, as far as we know the final two feature films Ed directed (though I increasingly doubt this).
I digress. As I was transcribing the subtitles to the silent loop Petite Fleur, I received a message from a writer named Flash, asking me a few questions about the loops. He is studying those first 19 Swedish Erotica loops generally credited to Ed, and writing a review of Cinefear's pioneering pair of discs collecting them, and we messaged briefly about related matters.
Flash first asked me if I thought Ed padded his resume. Although Ed was, per Kathy Wood and I'm equally guilty as charged here, a bullshit artist—his ballyhoo is there, among other places, in the loop box cover summaries—I don't think he padded his list of accomplishments. I have not seen the full document, but enough has been shared to arrive at this conclusion.
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| A skinny, affectless hippie in Petite Fleur. |
If anything, Ed's CV was probably too modest. There are likely dozens of paperbacks unaccounted for on the resume, for instance. There are certainly magazine short stories and articles unaccounted for. And there is a whole world of miscellaneous writing and other work, including but not limited to: loop box cover summaries, which also became insert cards/catalogs for chunks of entire series, packaged with the loops; captions for magazine photo features and illustrated sociosex paperbacks; and a seeming multitude of loops falling outside of the resume's listing of 716 "short picture subjects" from 1971 through 1973. Ed's Orbit is staggering, perhaps even across the endless reaches of time.
Flash asked me if I thought Ed "made" (read: directed) those 716 loops. I don't know, but I'm trying to figure it out. Make smart inferences. Keep emotions in check and override with reason. 2 + 2 does always equal 4, it turns out. A FACT!
The subtitles to Petite Fleur correspond to same across hundreds of other loops in evidently related series. Petite Fleur shows a coupling between a skinny, affectless hippie with a goatee and a hard dick, and a pretty young free-spirit—over-dramatic and rolling her eyes wildly—with a topknot.
Below, I have transcribed the subtitles exactly as they appear onscreen, along with my interpretation of who is the intended "speaker" of each line.
Petite Fleur
Male: HI! THERE
Female: WELL HELLO YOURSELF
Male: NICE DAY
Female: IT IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY
Male: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE A SUCKER
Female: UMMMMMMMMM!!!!
Male: TASTE GOOD?
Female: UMMMMMMMM!!!!!!
Male: AHHHH!!!!!!!
Male: MY TURN LAY BACK
Female: HURRY HURRY
Female: OHHHHH!!!!!!!
Female: PUT IT IN
Female: OHHHH!!!!!
Male: TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES
Male: SIT ON IT
Male: ROCK ON IT
Female: AHHHHHH!!!!!
Male: ROLL ON YOUR SIDE
Female: OH BABY THAT FEELS GOOD
Female: DEEPER DEEPER
Male: IT ONLY GOES AS DEEP AS IT IS LONG
Female: OHHH!!!!!!!!
Male: LICK ON IT
Female: UMMMMMMMM!!!!!!
Male: SEE YOU LATER
The End
Those subtitles are by Ed, by the way. I'm convinced.
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| Connoisseurs only, please. |
And Petite Fleur was not released as part of the Danish International Films loop series, but rather the V.I.P. Collection, one of dozens of related series clearly made by the same creative principles. Especially compelling are the dissolve edits—yes, the lollipop gives way to a penis and vice-versa—and characters and objects moving into and away from the camera. The hand-off of the lollipop is particularly spellbinding.
The finale intimates, albeit very subtly, that it's "all a dream" in the male protagonist's mind, set in motion as the girl licks the lollipop. Unusually for a short film from this cluster of loops, the subtitles persist through the sex scenes. For the record, we have here a spare 73 words spread across 26 lines, a mere 3.5 words per line. Factoring out lengthy, and in this case sublime, lines like IT ONLY GOES AS DEEP AS IT IS LONG, we have some of the most primitive subtitles of all. Petite Fleur, a breeding ground for hundreds of subsequent loops.
Special thanks to Flash at Adult DVD Talk, and look for his review of Cinefear's pair of discs of the first 19 Swedish Erotica loops soon.
And here is a select listing of loops distributed under the Danish International Films imprint:
- #1 Two's Better Than One
- #3 Sex & the Gun
- #5 Trophy Girls
- #7 Hollywood Pick Up
- #10 Flesh Eater
- #13 The Wishing Well
- #16 Drain Me Dry
- #18 Balls of Fire
- #19 Erection to Eternal Lust
- #20 Read Me Dry
- #22 Fire My Box
- #25 Sweet Smell of Cunt
- #28 The Golden Tongue