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| Some bachelorette party attendees get more than they bargained for in "Ripped and Torn." |
NOTE: This article continues my coverage of Ed Wood's Warm Angora Wishes and Rubber Octopus Dreams (Arcane Shadows Press, 2024).
The story: "Ripped and Torn" by Sean Collins
Synopsis: A hideous, decaying monster shambles toward a home in suburban America. Inside, three young women—Helen, Judi, and Beth—are throwing a bachelorette party for their friend Liz, who is engaged to a man named Ray. There seems to be some mild friction between Liz and and the snarky, sarcastic Helen, whose nickname is "Hellraiser." When the monster shows up at their doorstep, the women assume he is the male stripper they hired.
The monster is totally disoriented and can only communicate in grunts and growls, but the women are insistent that he start dancing and stripping. Somehow, the creature becomes entranced by the music and actually starts putting on a show for them. Things quickly get out of control, however, as he not only removes his clothing but also his skin, flesh, and eyeballs. The women realize this is not the stripper they'd been expecting.
Fortunately, Liz has a plan! She distracts the monster with Helen's angora sweater, then disorients him by throwing a shower curtain over him. Helen finishes the creature by stabbing him with a fireplace poker. Ray arrives at the party and informs the women that the dead have been rising from the grave due to a science experiment gone awry. A radio announcer informs them that the crisis has passed. Only then does the actual stripper arrive.
Excerpt:
Thunder roared in the distance outside. Liz looked over at the window and wished she was outside. Miles away, she had to get them out of here. She looked over at Helen who still watched the bizarre spectacle. Liz couldn't tell if it was now from fear or amazement. There was another horrible tearing sound. Liz looked at the monster and saw that now the flesh of his torso had been ripped away.
Reflections: "Ripped and Torn" is a departure from the previous stories in Warm Angora Wishes in that it is not based on any particular work by Ed Wood, such as Bride of the Monster (1955) or Plan 9 (1957), nor does it use Eddie and his eccentric cohorts as characters. Instead, it is a comedic horror fantasy that tries to evoke the tone of something Eddie might have written. Author Sean Collins talks about Ed's influence in the story's lengthy prologue, but the story itself is a wholly original work.
Having read many of Ed Wood's short stories from the 1960s and '70s, I can attest that Eddie would have been intrigued and amused by the idea of a stripper who peels all the way down to the skeleton. It's the kind of ghoulish, gory twist that could easily have been in one of his own stories. But I'm pretty sure Ed would have made the stripper character female, and he would have set the whole thing in a bar or a club rather than some lady's living room. The only way he would have written about a male stripper is if the audience had also been men.
For the last couple of days, as I've been preparing to review this story, I've been wracking my brain to remember exactly where I saw a scene in which a stripper removes her skin and flesh until she's just a skeleton. My first instinct was that it was an episode of Tales from the Crypt (1989-1996). But then, I thought it must have been one of those horror anthology movies, like Creepshow (1982). After some digging, I think I've narrowed it down to The Monster Club (1981), featuring Vincent Price and John Carradine. But if you have a better idea, I'd like to hear it.