I'm not so sure I love this Lucy

"Do you pop out at parties?" Clearly, the answer is yes.

I have already expressed my love of wax museums in general and really bad wax museums in particular. I wish sometimes I could work in such an establishment, though it's probably less glamorous than I'm imagining. Well, in my Internet travels, I recently encountered this grotesque approximation of Lucille Ball from the famed Hollywood Wax Museum, one of the great tourist traps in LA. Like the infamous bronze statue of Ms. Ball in Celoron, NY this paraffin effigy is based on the indelible I Love Lucy episode called "Lucy Does a TV Commercial," better known as "Vitameatavegimin."

What is it about that episode that so stymies artists? They can't come close to capturing it. While the bronze statue looks like the Golem of Judaic folklore, the wax figure resembles a crazed, possibly murderous Reba McEntire. Why is Lucille Ball so hard to capture? Anyway, for comparison's sake, below is a picture of the infamous statue, juxtaposed with a photo of the real Lucille Ball.

Well, the artist got some details right. Lucy did wear a necklace in the episode.

(today's zomby) AND TOM HANKS RAPS!

And speaking of bizarre iterations of classic American TV shows...

Hop hop pioneers Dan Aykroyd and Tom Hanks

Admit it. You probably don't think about the 1987 film version of Dragnet with Dan Aykroyd. and Tom Hanks all that often do you? I probably think about it more often than most people, since it was the only Hollywood movie premiere I've ever witnessed. I was an impressionable Midwestern kid on vacation in California with my family, and our tour group just happened to be driving by when the stars were arriving for the premiere. The bus driver stopped and let us watch as the stars got out of their limos and walked to the theater. To me, it seemed like a big deal. As a souvenir, my parents even got me a copy of the movie's soundtrack album. (On cassette, of course. My father complained bitterly about the $6 or $7 it cost.) I think I might still own it. On that very same trip, during our tour of Universal Studios, we got to see a bit of Jaws: The Revenge being filmed, too. That was not quite as exciting, since all they were filming that day was what looked like a very large swimming pool (meant to represent the ocean) with an equally large blue backdrop (meant to represent the sky). Why they needed a fake ocean and a fake sky when the real ones were readily available was beyond me.

But getting back to that Dragnet soundtrack! Certainly the oddest track on it was a novelty rap tune called "City of Crime" by Tom Hanks and Dan Aykroyd. The latter performs his verses in character as Joe Friday, while the former mainly just yells. The background music, which is suspiciously reminiscent of AC/DC's "Back in Black," was created by Dan's brother, Peter Aykroyd.

Anyway, here's a vintage slice of 1987. Enjoy!



Say what you will about "City of Crime," at least it's not as bad as the hip hop output of Tom's son, Chet Haze.

In honor of Lucille Ball's 100th birthday, here's a zombified "I Love Lucy" poster

This marvelous bit of fan art was done by Chuck Hodi whose personal website is right here.