Saturday, August 15, 2015

Imperial margarine commercials lied to us

Da da da DAAAAAAH!

One of the great disappointments of my youth was that my mother never once bought Imperial margarine at the grocery store. I'm not sure which brand we used, but it wasn't Imperial, that's for sure. I always wanted to try this perfectly-ordinary butter substitute so that, upon eating it for the first time, an Edward-the-Confessor-type crown would magically appear on my head and I'd hear the familiar regal fanfare, just like the people in the TV commercials. I was understandably curious, too, about Parkay and its mysterious talking tubs of oleo. But Imperial held the greater fascination. Imagine being one dinner roll away from becoming royalty! Did the crown come with any attendant power, I wonder? Did you get to keep it, or did it vanish once you became acclimated to the taste of Imperial? So many, many unanswered questions.


  1. I came upon your blog in a round about way. I'm not a Zombie person, (nothing against them, it's just not my thing) Anyway, I was reading different blogs that had posts about depression, and yours came up. I love your style of writing, and I can see that you really have the talent for it. I've only just gotten started reading all of your posts, but I really like what I've read so far!!! This post about the margarine commercials cracked me up!!!! I remember my mom telling me that when I was a little girl, she came into the kitchen to find me sitting at the table, looking closely at the Mrs. Butterworth syrup bottle, waiting for it to talk!! I cried when she didn't because I thought she was dead!! Anyway, I love your blog. Laura

  2. Laura: Thank you for this lovely comment. I'm so glad you are enjoying the blog, and I hope that future posts will meet with your approval as well. As for the zombies, this blog started as a spinoff of a podcast called Mail Order Zombie. I didn't really know anything about zombies or zombie movies, but I liked the show a lot and contributed to it pretty much every week. This blog was pretty zombie-centric for the first couple of years, but it changed direction a couple of years ago and has been about zombies since. I kept the name, though. Anyway, thank you so much for reading!