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| Da da da DAAAAAAH! |
One of the (many) great disappointments of my youth was that my mother never once bought Imperial margarine at the grocery store. I'm not sure which brand we used, but it wasn't Imperial, that's for sure. I always wanted to try this perfectly-ordinary butter substitute so that, upon eating it for the first time, an Edward-the-Confessor-type crown would magically appear on my head and I'd hear the familiar regal fanfare, just like the people in the TV commercials. I was understandably curious, too, about Parkay and its mysterious talking tubs of oleo. But Imperial held the greater fascination. Imagine being one dinner roll away from becoming royalty! Did the crown come with any attendant power, I wonder? Did you get to keep it, or did it vanish once you became acclimated to the taste of Imperial? So many, many unanswered questions.