 |
| Enjoy never sleeping again. |
Before you go out trick-or-treating, I invite you to cleanse your palette with some seasonally appropriate comic strip parodies.
We'll kick things off with a Dennis the Menace takeoff. Here's my proposed spinoff, Henry: After the Divorce.
 |
| Table for one, please. |
I've been having fun with the artwork from Dick Tracy lately, too. Specifically, there was one story that had several characters, including a Glenn Close lookalike, attending a local production of Our Town. For some reason, I was compelled to do some crude face-swapping among the characters to see if that changed the tenor of the scene at all. (Spoiler: It didn't.)
 |
| I like the top row best. |
Another panel from this same story inspired me to revive a dead/dormant internet meme.
 |
| Take that, Glenn Close! |
We can't forget Dustin, though I'm sure his parents would like to.
 |
| Too harsh? Not harsh enough? |
It's time once again to visit the melon-headed Keane clan from The Family Circus. Billy, their oldest child, is not getting any smarter. Quite the opposite, I'm afraid.
 |
| "But it's so delicious!" |
But it's not like his father is setting a great example for the kids.
 |
| Breaking those panel borders. Such a rebel! |
And, yeah, I'm still doing that thing where I remove the family entirely and just make it The Circus. It calms me, okay?
 |
| I wanna live here. |
Enough of that. Time to head on over to Funkytown! Funky Winkerbean, that is! Watch me make a chump of Les Moore! ("Les Moore." Whatta dumb name.)
 |
| After this, Les' head explodes with shame. |
What's up next in our little cavalcade of cartoon fun? Gil Thorp. To be honest, I'm not 100% sure who this guy is. Some concerned parent who looks like Bluto. Anyway, enjoy this off-color joke, which you'll have to click to see at, ahem, full size.
 |
| The joke is that he actually thought about it for a second. |
Who's got next? Why, that'd be Judge Parker. This strip has gotten monumentally dull and stupid lately, concentrating on characters and stories I don't care about, i.e. frumpy ex-maid Marie going to work at Abbey's ill-conceived B&B. Do you know who Marie and Abbey even are? No, of course you don't. At least Marie inspired this Shining parody.
 |
| "Little pig, little pig, let me in!" |
Now we get down into the dregs. Rex Morgan, M.D. has wasted the last few weeks on two minor supporting characters, Buck and Mindy. Mindy's going through a rough pregnancy. Not much fun. But I thought I'd liven things up with a wisecracking doctor. Here are a couple of variations on that idea.
 |
| Pull his finger! |
Six Chix is keeping it creepy, as always. This is another one you have to click to see at full size. Sorry.
 |
| Cameo by Edward Norton. |
At last, we get to the grand dame of this blog. In sharp contrast to the other soap strips, Mary Worth has been excellent lately. Estelle is having some understandable qualms about her relationship with Wilbur and came to Mary for advice. I'm not sure Mary was much help, though.
 |
| That's a creative, if cruel, sentence. |
Soon enough, Mary was dropping knowledge like Galileo dropped the orange.
 |
| Remember that pancakes motif. It will return. |
It turns out that Estelle had big plans for Wilbur. Big.
 |
| This joke is stolen from the movie Top Secret! |
For a while, it looked like Wilbur was having the time of his life while his aggrieved ex-girlfriend Iris was suffering.
 |
| Zak is Iris' rich young boyfriend. You need to know that for later. |
That didn't feel right to me, so I switched 'em.
 |
| But now Wilbur just looks flirty. |
It turns out that Iris and Wilbur were about to cross paths.
 |
| I assume he just dumps the pills into the top of his head. |
Iris thought she recognized Wilbur. Or was it just a human-sized pile of garbage?
 |
| They do look alike! |
Eventually, Wilbur and Iris did meet up and have a conversation. And the artwork took a turn for the cubist!
 |
| Same expression and everything! |
Speaking of the artwork, the eyelines in Mary Worth may seem a little wonky. But this behind-the-scenes shot explains why that is. You have to keep your actors motivated!
 |
| I know this should be a sandwich, but pink donuts are just funnier to me. |
Once he was alone again (naturally), Wilbur revealed his true, horrifying self.
 |
| Another triumph for Joaquin Phoenix! |
Iris and Wilbur later talked over the phone, which Iris used as a chance to test out her magic skills.
 |
| Why does she hold her phone like that? You tell me! |
Wilbur spiraled into self-doubt, which is a very rational thing for him to do. He should doubt himself. A lot.
 |
| I've long wanted to do a "shattered mirror" gag. Now I've done one. |
Wilbur got so worked up that he sought comfort in the bottle. Well, a bottle.
 |
| I've actually done this myself. It works! |
As usual, I'll leave you with some random images not based on any particular strip. In particular, there's a joke about Moses parting the cars at a drive-in movie theater that I'm trying to make work. Tell me what you think. Here are a couple of versions, both of which you have to click to see at full size:
 |
| Version 1: No dialogue. |
 |
| Version 2: With dialogue. |
Here's a spooky Seinfeld parody.
 |
| Rats!!!! |
And, just for good measure, here's a Justice League/Monty Python mashup.
 |
| If you understand any of this, congratulations on being a nerd! |
That's all I have for you this time. Have a safe and happy Halloween! Oh, wait, no, this is that day when everything is the opposite. Have a dangerous and miserable Halloween!