I remain convinced that Edward D. Wood, Jr. was responsible for writing the subtitles for hundreds upon hundreds of silent 8mm porn loops, principally those made on the West Coast between 1972 and 1978, the year of his passing. This aspect of his career is noted in Rudolph Grey's 1992 book Nightmare of Ecstasy, with artist Phil Cambridge specifically remembering that Ed was paid $100 to write captions for ten movies, but the full extent of Ed's hand in penning these subtitles remains unknown.
Born in 1924, three years before the release of The Jazz Singer, Eddie would have seen his fair share of silent films as a kid back in Poughkeepsie. In a weird way, the declamatory intertitle cards in those early silent movies are ancestors of the subtitles in the 1970s loops. They exist to solve the same problem, i.e. how do you convey narration and dialogue without synchronous sound?
I've spent a lot of time around here transcribing various 1970s loops from numerous related series. It's been a bit of a labyrinth. Along the way, I've collated set decorations, performers, mise en scene, cinematic tropes, and even fonts to demonstrate how these films are connected to one another. Once you see enough of these films, you start to notice definite patterns.
Let's spend a little more time on this subject and dive into the subtitles from loop #37 in the Swedish Erotica series, "Orgy in Leather." This short was originally called "Orgasmus in Leder" and was loop #35 in the German Mister Climax series. The US incarnation, however, has English-language subtitles. Strangely, even in the American edition, the main title appears in its original German. The American title "Orgy in Leather" is conspicuously absent.
I've spent a lot of time around here transcribing various 1970s loops from numerous related series. It's been a bit of a labyrinth. Along the way, I've collated set decorations, performers, mise en scene, cinematic tropes, and even fonts to demonstrate how these films are connected to one another. Once you see enough of these films, you start to notice definite patterns.
Let's spend a little more time on this subject and dive into the subtitles from loop #37 in the Swedish Erotica series, "Orgy in Leather." This short was originally called "Orgasmus in Leder" and was loop #35 in the German Mister Climax series. The US incarnation, however, has English-language subtitles. Strangely, even in the American edition, the main title appears in its original German. The American title "Orgy in Leather" is conspicuously absent.
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| A quartet of images showing the main title, the opening credits, and the captions. |
Incidentally, the perfunctory box cover summary for the Swedish Erotica release of "Orgy in Leather" could have been written by Ed, but it bears no obvious signatures of his writing style.
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| The box cover summary for "Orgy in Leather." |
But back to the loop itself. Credits ensue, superimposed over shots of a curvy brunette in a bathroom. She is clad in only a black garter belt and stockings. The look of these credits, with their groovy yellow curlicued letters, is consistent with other Swedish Erotica films and related loops of that era. Our brunette enters a bedroom, where we see a blonde lying on the bed in bra and panties, thumbing through a magazine. The subtitles now appear in yellow.
Brunette: HEY, LOOK WHAT YOU DID! WHAT ARE YOU READING?
Blonde: JUST A MAGAZINE BUT IT KIND OF TURNS ME ON.
The camera pans, handheld and in closeup, across the magnificent body of the blonde. From this vantage point, we can see she is reading Week-End Sex, a now-legendary German adult magazine. The words "beachten Sie bitte" ("please notice") on the back cover give away the film's foreign roots.
Blonde: COME LOOK AT THIS MAIL ORDER STUFF.The audience for this film, on either side of the pond, would have related to this scenario. In Copenhagen, Weisbaden, or North Hollywood, you could then consume your pornography in myriad ways, including the relatively discreet mail order. If the prospect of visiting a sex shop and asking the clerk for what was under the counter intimidated you, you could always have your porn sent directly to you in a plain brown wrapper.
Brunette: HERE'S SOMETHING EXCITING AND THAT'S THE ORDER BLANK.
Brunette: WHERE'S THE PEN?
As an answer to this prosaic question, the brunette spreads the blonde's legs.
Brunette: MMMMMMM...THERE IT IS. GREAT PENHOLDER, SWEETHEART.
There it is, indeed -- seven M's, followed by an ellipsis and a weirdly strained sexual metaphor.
Blonde: OKAY. LET'S GET THIS ONE.
Yes, they are ordering lingerie out of the back of a sex magazine. The girls take their order to the mailbox.
Brunette: WELL, DROP IT IN...
A few quick cuts and the delivery man is at the door with the package.
Delivery Man: OOPS! SORRY!
The brunette, nonplussed, has answered the door in nothing but black stockings and garter.
Blonde: IT DIDN'T TAKE LONG FOR OUR MAIL ORDER ITEMS TO ARRIVE.
The girls deploy to the bedroom. They are eager to open the package, as are we.
Brunette: WOULD YOU HAND ME THE SCISSORS?
They cut open the package and fish out black latex gloves, red latex boots, and latex belts and lingerie. Here we see the limitations of the subtitles, as the yellow letters, lacking outlines, become illegible in certain shots.
The loop concludes with the words "The End" appearing onscreen in a font highly similar to that used on the then-popular network TV series Little House on the Prairie. Wonder what the wholesome Ingalls would have to say about that!
Highly descriptive for their time, the "Orgy in Leather" subtitles are comprised of a whopping 104 words. Spread across a mere 19 lines, we still arrive at an average of 5.47 words per line, the upper limit for those keeping score. The typical viewer of the time was likely unaware -- and frankly would not have cared -- if this film hailed from Copenhagen, Weisbaden or North Hollywood. The simple narrative set-ups, dissolve edits, and handheld pans constituted the cross-continental film grammar of the loops.
Climax Film, a label based in Weisbaden, distributed approximately a hundred loops from 1972 through the mid '70s, across more than half a dozen series. Three of the company's Mister Climax loops landed with American pornographer Noel Bloom, who was by then partnered with Mickey Zaffarano, the kingpin of porno distribution in the United States. Jack Descent even told me that Zaffarano was Bloom's main partner at that time. Mickey was a well-known gangster, as evidenced by this June 17, 1966 New York Daily News article, in which even the headline refers to him by his first name.
All three of the Mister Climax loops were released in America under the Swedish Erotica label, complete with the then-customary English subtitles. These German-made loops were an anomaly because Swedish Erotica, indisputably the pinnacle of the form in this country, principally featured loops shot in the US. This includes the inaugural 19 Swedish Erotica loops, the ones generally accepted as being made by Ed Wood, as well as the subsequent loops shot in San Francisco.
The series also included the occasional title from Color Climax of Copenhagen. The transatlantic symbiosis of Color Climax and Swedish Erotica resulted in many awesome things, including the early loops of John Holmes being released by Color Climax in Europe and becoming their best-selling titles. As an example, Swedish Erotica loops #12 and #13, "Big John Parts 1 and 2," were re-edited and released in Europe as part of Color Climax's Expo Film series. As Expo Film #56, "Super Stud," it sold 35,000 copies in Europe alone.
That was around 1974, maybe 1975. The end was fast approaching for Edward D. Wood, Jr. But Eddie's work would be resurrected after his death, and the man himself would be named the worst director of all time. Eddie's unique role as porn pioneer continues to remain forgotten.
Blonde: THESE THINGS ARE WELL MADE. PRETTY [unreadable], TOO.The ladies dress up in their new mail order finery. Suddenly, they react to some offscreen sound.
Blonde: THAT WAS A CAR HORN.The girls run to the window. We are now halfway into the loop, with considerable narrative buildup that, it seems, is about to result in a guy showing up for four minutes of sexual intercourse with our eager female protagonists, all sparsely subtitled. With a thick head of hair and a full mustache, the guy waves to the girls in the window, as he steps out of his car.
Guy: HI, GIRLS!
Blonde: IT'S LATE. I DON'T HAVE TIME.He won't be stopped. He enters their apartment.
Guy: WELL, WHERE THE HELL ARE THEY?The blonde enters and sits in his lap.
Brunette: COME JOIN US.The inevitable threesome finally ensues.
Blonde: MMMMMMMMMM!!!That's ten M's and three exclamation points.
Brunette: AHHHHHHHHH!True to the name of the series, this Mister Climax film now reaches its obligatory climax. In this case, though, the event is faked -- not an uncommon occurrence, given its necessity combined with the economic constraint of utilizing film stock.
The loop concludes with the words "The End" appearing onscreen in a font highly similar to that used on the then-popular network TV series Little House on the Prairie. Wonder what the wholesome Ingalls would have to say about that!
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| Two sterling examples of 1970s typography. |
Highly descriptive for their time, the "Orgy in Leather" subtitles are comprised of a whopping 104 words. Spread across a mere 19 lines, we still arrive at an average of 5.47 words per line, the upper limit for those keeping score. The typical viewer of the time was likely unaware -- and frankly would not have cared -- if this film hailed from Copenhagen, Weisbaden or North Hollywood. The simple narrative set-ups, dissolve edits, and handheld pans constituted the cross-continental film grammar of the loops.
Climax Film, a label based in Weisbaden, distributed approximately a hundred loops from 1972 through the mid '70s, across more than half a dozen series. Three of the company's Mister Climax loops landed with American pornographer Noel Bloom, who was by then partnered with Mickey Zaffarano, the kingpin of porno distribution in the United States. Jack Descent even told me that Zaffarano was Bloom's main partner at that time. Mickey was a well-known gangster, as evidenced by this June 17, 1966 New York Daily News article, in which even the headline refers to him by his first name.
 |
| Article abut Mickey Zaffarano from the June 17, 1966 edition of the New York Daily News. |
All three of the Mister Climax loops were released in America under the Swedish Erotica label, complete with the then-customary English subtitles. These German-made loops were an anomaly because Swedish Erotica, indisputably the pinnacle of the form in this country, principally featured loops shot in the US. This includes the inaugural 19 Swedish Erotica loops, the ones generally accepted as being made by Ed Wood, as well as the subsequent loops shot in San Francisco.
The series also included the occasional title from Color Climax of Copenhagen. The transatlantic symbiosis of Color Climax and Swedish Erotica resulted in many awesome things, including the early loops of John Holmes being released by Color Climax in Europe and becoming their best-selling titles. As an example, Swedish Erotica loops #12 and #13, "Big John Parts 1 and 2," were re-edited and released in Europe as part of Color Climax's Expo Film series. As Expo Film #56, "Super Stud," it sold 35,000 copies in Europe alone.
That was around 1974, maybe 1975. The end was fast approaching for Edward D. Wood, Jr. But Eddie's work would be resurrected after his death, and the man himself would be named the worst director of all time. Eddie's unique role as porn pioneer continues to remain forgotten.