Showing posts with label Disney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Disney. Show all posts

Saturday, April 16, 2016

An open letter from 'Captain America: Civil War'

Captain America: Civil War wants you to know a few things.

Hello, America.

I'm Captain America: Civil War. I'm a major motion picture from Marvel Studios and Walt Disney coming to a theater near you on May 6, 2016. That's just around the corner. Maybe you've seen an advertisement for me at a movie theater. Or on television. Or on the Internet. Or in the back of a cab. Or on one of those little screens they have at gas pumps now. So you have heard of me? That's nice.

So...

'Sup? Let's get to know each other. Mind if I put on some music?



There. Isn't that better? I thought so, too. Why don't you lie down while I pour you a glass of Amaretto and give you a nice, relaxing foot massage?

That's more like it. Can't you just feel all the stress leaving your body? Oh, yeah.

Now, baby -- do you mind if I call you baby?

Baby, I know that you've been hurt by big budget, major studio superhero films in the past. And I mean the very recent past. Not to be too forward, but I heard through the grapevine that you just suffered a bad breakup with Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice. Someone told me that you came out of the theater depressed and disoriented. You even said you were "done" with superhero movies forever. Is that right? Don't be shy, America. Captain America: Civil War is here to listen to you. Speak from the heart.

Okay. That's what I thought.

Well, baby, I'm here to tell you that the bad times are over and the good times are just beginning. I know you've been down some tough roads, and, believe me, I feel your pain. Dawn of Justice may have broken your heart, but that's just because he's a chump who doesn't respect and cherish you like I do. That ain't gonna happen with Captain America: Civil War. I know it's difficult, but I'm asking you to trust again. Captain America: Civil War is here to make everything all right.

Don't forget: I'm just a $250 million franchise film standing in front of a nation of ticket buyers, asking them to love him.

Yeah, I took that line from Notting Hill. I'm genuinely sorry about that. But my screenplay is all new, baby, I swear. Take my hand, America. You won't regret it.

Did I mention that I have Spider-Man? And no origin story this time? Oh, you like that, don't you? Yeah,  you do, you saucy little minx.

So, what do you say? Do we have a date on May 6? In 3D and IMAX in selected locations?

Oh, yeah.

Tuesday, March 29, 2016

Are 'Zootopia' and 'Batman V Superman' the same movie? Sort of, yeah.

Officer Judy Hopps and Superman: which one is which?

Okay, hear me out on this. Over Easter weekend, while visiting with my family, I got to catch up on two recent movie blockbusters: Disney's Zootopia and Warner Bros' Batman V Superman: Dawn Of Justice. For the record, I basically liked both of them. Zootopia is an extremely cute, attractively animated family film with a good message about tolerance and the dangers of stereotyping. It's a little preachy and on-the-nose for my taste, but it's still enjoyable. Dawn Of Justice is drawn-out and dour with too limited a color palate and too noisy a sound design, but the critics calling it an unmitigated disaster are exaggerating. I wasn't bored by it. It's perfectly fine. I'd never want to sit through it again, but it'll do. Both Zootopia and Dawn are worth your time. But what I noticed is that there are a lot of parallels between these two seemingly dissimilar films. Like what? Well...

(SPOILER ALERT IN EFFECT FROM HERE ON OUT.)

Monday, October 13, 2014

Ed Wood extra! Talking 'Ed Wood' (1994) on the Disney, Indiana podcast

Minnie and Mickey scarecrows representing the hosts of the Disney, Indiana.

Uh oh! It's podcast time again! Here's another opportunity to run my big, fat mouth! I never turn down the chance to pontificate about something trivial. It's one of the great pleasures of life. Yes, Scott and Tracey Morris, two truly sweet and generous folks whom I've known since my days on Mail Order Zombie, graciously invited me onto their own podcast, Disney, Indiana, to discuss the 1994 biopic Ed Wood, directed by Tim Burton and starring Johnny Depp and Martin Landau. As you might have guessed from its name, Disney, Indiana is a biweekly podcast devoted to all aspects of the House of Mouse. That includes films released by such Disney subsidiaries as Touchstone, the company that dared to turn the life of Edward Davis Wood, Jr. into a major motion picture. Ed Wood celebrates its 20th anniversary in 2014, so this was a great opportunity to talk about the film at length. I think we had a good, informative chat about the movie, and I hope my readers will enjoy it. If this sounds intriguing, here are some links to help you out:

And if you're still not satisfied, here's an article about the early days of Touchstone that I co-wrote with my good pal, Craig J. Clark. It has nothing to do with Ed Wood or Tim Burton, but I think it's a good read nevertheless.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Mill Creek comedy classics #20: "The Gang's All Here" (1941)

Either that gunman is gigantic or Jackie Moran and Marcia Mae Jones are tiny in The Gang's All Here.

The flick: The Gang's All Here (Monogram Pictures, 1941) [buy the set]

Current IMDb rating: 6.3

Director: Jean Yarbrough (Freckles Comes Home)

Actors of note:
  • Frankie Darro (voice of Lampwick in Pinocchio; played Robby the Robot in Forbidden Planet)
  • Keye Luke (the old Chinese man in both Gremlins movies; played "number one son" in the Charlie Chan series, much more)
  • Marcia Mae Jones (The Way We Were, Heidi, Imitation of Life)
  • Jackie Moran (Gone with the Wind; played Huckleberry Finn in The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; Russ Meyer's Wild Gals of the Naked West)
  • Robert Homans (The Grapes of Wrath, The Maltese Falcon)

The gist of it: A large number of "accidents," some fatal, have been plaguing a certain trucking company. Now, Pop Wallace (Homans) is having trouble finding anyone to drive his trucks. Nervy pipsqueak Frankie (Darro) and his lazy, bug-eyed black sidekick Jeff (Moreland) answer Pop's newspaper ad. He's reluctant and highly skeptical, but he gives them the job anyway because he's desperate. Meanwhile, Pop's pushy, demanding daughter Patsy (Jones) is always hounding her grease-monkey boyfriend Chick (Moran) to be more of a take-charge kind of guy... a real go-getter, like Frankie. The so-called accidents are intentional sabotage by a gang of crooks who have forced Pops to be part of their scheme, and it isn't long before Frankie and Jeff find themselves in real trouble.

Keye Luke
My take: If you hear the term "trucker comedy," you're liable to think of mudflaps, CB lingo, and the music of Waylon Jennings and Merle Haggard. But The Gang's All Here is from an earlier era, before the big rigger enjoyed his brief heyday as an anti-establishment, good ol' boy hero in the 1970s. The song "Convoy" wouldn't be written for a few more decades yet. The rigs ain't all that big in this flick, and the drivers aren't transporting anything cool like dynamite or beer, just "perishables" to a Fresno grocery store.

The film actually works a little better as a crime thriller than a comedy. If you'll notice, a lot of the folks from Freckles Comes Home are reunited here, and like that film, The Gang's All Here -- an utterly meaningless title, by the way, unless it's an oblique reference to the film's many gangsters  -- features more murder and mayhem than you'd normally expect from a comedy. The first few minutes, in fact, are nothing but trucks being run off the road and tumbling down cliffs, followed by a montage of headlines about the drivers who have been killed and maimed. It's a weird start to a supposedly funny film, but it does lend a sense of real urgency to the plot. Frankie and Jeff really are in trouble!

I should mention, by the way, that Mantan Moreland's character in this film is scarcely more admirable than his one in Freckles Comes Home, except that Moreland does eventually become sort of valuable to Frankie as a sidekick. But Moreland subserviently refers to his friend as "Mister Frankie," and once again, the movie stops dead so that he and Laurence Criner (whose character is embarrassingly named "Ham Shanks") can do little comedy bits that emphasize Moreland's dishonesty and Criner's stupidity. Not a proud moment for humanity.

But there's hope elsewhere in the film! Keye Luke, the incredibly prolific character actor, plays a Chinese-American character who speaks English fluently and is portrayed in an entirely flattering and positive light. You could even argue that his character is the real hero of this movie. That genuinely surprised me.

Lampwick: Still terrifying.
Is it funny: It's not overly funny, no. It's not a total washout as a comedy, though. Marcia Mae Jones is somewhat fun as the mouthy, never-satisfied Patsy. What Chick sees in her (other than her chipmunk-cute looks) is beyond me, but she's more interesting than the bland love interests in a lot of these movies. The cowardice and laziness of Mantan Moreland's character make him a relic of a bygone era, but the man clearly had a flair for comedy. His timing and delivery are impeccable, even when the material he's given isn't up to snuff.

And then there's the ostensible star of this flick, Frankie Darro, probably best known for traumatizing generations of children as the voice of Lampwick in Disney's Pinocchio. His transformation into a donkey remains terrifying, over 70 years later. His character here, also named Frankie, is a loudmouth whose braggadocio is undercut by his small stature. You know how little dogs are often the most aggressive, challenging much larger dogs to fights they can't possibly win? That's Frankie Darro -- a yappy little Chihuahua who goes around snapping at pit bulls. As someone whose family has always had dogs, I found that rather amusing.

My grade: B-

P.S. - Mantan Moreland and Laurence Criner won't be up for any NAACP Image awards for this film.