Saturday, November 7, 2009

The Brain Patch: Miracle of Modern Science!

Hello once again, kots and koshkas!

You regular listeners-in have already heard me jabbering at length about THE BRAIN PATCH, the miracle of modern science which will, I hope, finally allow the Living Impaired to live in peace and harmony with the living by curbing our oh-so-inconvenient cravings for human brains. A simple, unobtrusive patch worn on the upper arm, the Brain Patch allows the wearer to go about his or her daily business without feeling even the slightest desire to crack open a victim's skull and feast on the grey matter within.

Neat, right?

I thought so, too, and now -- thanks to Chris Toohey, the designer of this very site -- we finally have a photograph of a model (not me) wearing a prototype of the Brain Patch. Thanks, Chris!


  1. What would happen if one of the living decided to wear the brain patch?

  2. The Brain Patch is contraindicated for the living, plus people in comas and those who are merely drowsy. Just as you shouldn't smoke while wearing a Nicoderm patch, you shouldn't wear a Brain Patch if you're still alive.

    But to answer your question, we don't know... because we haven't had any living volunteers, and it's tough to surrepititiously stick a patch on someone's upper arm.