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| Sex may or may not be a hazard. But we'll let Ed Wood have his say. |
NOTE: This article is part of my coverage of Ed Wood's When the Topic is Sex (BearManor Media, 2021).
The article: "Sex is Not a Hazard." Originally published in Fetish Annual (Gallery Press/Pendulum), 1972. Credited to "Dick Trent."
Excerpt: "Since degrees of arousal vary in each person, it is quite unusual for both persons to reach orgasm at the exact moment. This is sometimes possible, but it should not become a point over which to become upset and nervous. A man should learn to control his orgasm, within reason, until his wife is ready, but he should not be expected to feel that he must just keep plugging along waiting for his wife. This will turn the sex act into a boring and tiresome thing for the husband."
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| Ed Wood circa 1972. |
Reflections: As a writer, Ed Wood could take his audience down some very dark roads indeed. If you're planning on reading his novels, nonfiction books, short stories, and magazine articles, be prepared for passages that combine sex and violence in extremely disturbing ways—rape, incest, necrophilia, cannibalism, and more that I don't even want to discuss on this blog. I've talked of Ed "wallowing in filth," like a hog in a barnyard. I don't say that to insult the man; I'm just stating the truth as clearly as I can. The fact is, Ed occasionally liked to indulge his interest in cruelty and perversion. And I mean, he really dwells on this stuff when he's in the mood. At length.
Given all that, an article like "Sex is Not a Hazard" should be like a sunny day after many cloudy ones. As the title indicates, this is Ed in "sex positive" mode, declaring sexual intercourse to be a crucial part of any successful heterosexual marriage and even describing some ways in which couples can make their intercourse more enjoyable for both parties. This is as close to "healthy" as Ed's sex writing gets. I feared the worst when I learned this article appeared in something called Fetish Annual, but there's nothing remotely kinky here. He even endorses "vanilla" sex:
There are [...] several positions which, although not particularly exotic, perform their functions quite well for the average couple. No couple interested in a full sex life should neglect them. In any coital position it is helpful for the woman's clitoris to come into contact with the penis, and it is imperative for the man's penis to be far enough inside the vagina to cause the friction necessary for orgasm.
This was surprising, given how often Ed has written with contempt about the missionary position in the past. Even here, though, Eddie maintains his disdain for "puritanism." That hasn't changed.
So if "Sex is Not a Hazard" is so golly-gee-whiz enthusiastic about sex, why did I feel vaguely nauseous while reading it? I tend to do these reviews right after I get home from work, and I often eat my dinner while I compose them. Today, while reading "Sex is Not a Hazard," I found I suddenly lost my appetite. The problem may have been that I simply did not want to think of Edward D. Wood, Jr. discussing "penis-clitoris contact" in excruciating detail. Especially not the 1972 version of Ed, i.e. the bloated, toothless boozehound in the stained T-shirt. It would be like getting a sex lecture from your uncle.
Maybe I'm being irrational here. Why should I be more comfortable with Ed discussing sadomasochism than I am with Ed discussing normal sexual relations between a husband and wife? Your mileage can and will vary. Look, for the most part, "Sex is Not a Hazard" is a gentle, even sweet article. I mean, just check out this passage, which captures Eddie at his nicest:
In such a loving relation, sex acts as a catalyst. The values of sexual love an expansion of one's self-awareness, the experience of tenderness, increase of self-affirmation and pride, and sometimes, at the moment of orgasm even loss of feelings of separateness. It is in this setting that sex and love are reciprocally enhancing and healthily fused.
Then again, Ed also spends a good portion of this article talking about how sexually incompatible couples generally wind up in divorce court. So it's not all sweetness and light today.
Next: "Turn On or Keep Out of the Sex Business" (1973)