Ed Wood's When the Topic is Sex: "The Strange Fascination of Lesbianism" (1972)

"Strange fascinations fascinate me." - David Bowie

NOTE: This article continues my coverage of Ed Wood's When the Topic is Sex (BearManor Media, 2021).

The article: "The Strange Fascination of Lesbianism." Originally published in Pussy Willow (Pendulum Publishing), vol. 4, no. 1, April/May 1972. Credited to "Ann Gora."

Excerpt: "The dildo is well known to the lesbian world and has been in use all through antiquity. But then with the advent of electricity the dildo has become mechanized and has been put to the market under a different name. That is the vibrator. But call it what you will a dildo is a dildo with or without electricity."

An issue of The National Informer.

Reflections: When I reviewed the article "A Thought on Fetish Love Objects" a couple of weeks ago, I noted that Ed Wood quoted extensively from some sexually-explicit tabloids released by a company called Beta Publications in the early 1970s. Specifically, Eddie cited The National Spotlite and The National Bulletin. I'd never heard of Beta before then, but their formula seemed pretty straightforward: salacious stories and softcore cheesecake photography. The company's name rather amused me, given the current sexual connotation of the word "beta." They'd likely go with a different moniker today.

Before reading When the Topic is Sex, I didn't even know these kinds of publications existed. I knew of pornographic magazines, but the only tabloids I was familiar with were the ones being sold at the local supermarket: The National Enquirer, Star, Weekly World News, etc. The "dirty" ones Ed was talking about were beyond my ken. They certainly weren't available at our local Hamady. Perhaps these X-rated tabloids are not as well-remembered today as adult magazines of the era simply because they weren't preserved as well. Most of Beta's output (on flimsy, fragile newsprint) probably crumbled away to dust decades ago. God bless Pulp International for saving at least some of this material.

In "The Strange Fascination of Lesbianism," Ed Wood doubles down on the Beta tabloids, quoting extensively from The National Spotlite and The National Bulletin again, but he also draws from other pornographic tabloids, including The National Informer, which seems to be from a company called Aladdin. In all, here are the articles quoted in "The Strange Fascination of Lesbianism":

• "Wild Gals in Prison" by George Davis (The National Spotlite). The article describes how women are routinely subjected to lesbian attacks in prison, not just from other inmates but also from the staff. Some of the interviewees, like Georgina Sloots and Angela Brutesome, sound like Roald Dahl characters.

• "I, a Lesbian" by an unnamed author (The National Spotlite). This is supposedly a first-person account by a young woman named Liza, who has all kinds of Sapphic fun with her friends Susan, Lorraine, and Madeleine. Susan opines that lesbians are not perverted, simply more "imaginative" than straight women.

• "Tumblin' in the Tumbleweeds" by Curt Randall (The National Spotlite). This is a Western tale about a gang of lesbians who take over a ghost town and love to torture men. This is so much in Ed Wood's wheelhouse, he must've been jealous he didn't write it.

• "Troilism: When Three's Good Company and Not a Crowd in Bed" by Larry Bell (The National Examiner). While this article is technically about a threesome consisting of one man and two women, Ed assures us that "lesbianism is quite prominent" in it.

• "Sexy Gift Ideas" by Paul Zenda (The National Bulletin). Perhaps written with an eye toward the Christmas shopping season, Paul describes various dildos and vibrators one can purchase. Did you know these were available in Day-Glo colors?

• "Rumor Has it That" by an unnamed author (The National Bulletin). Eddie tells us that this is a regular column that contains what he calls "dig stories about the movie stars." I think by "dig story," he means a negative and possibly libelous article. In this case, it's about a love triangle consisting of Liz Taylor, Liza Minnelli (her name butchered as "Martinelli"), and Greek-American soprano Maria Callas.

• "Reform School Breeds Lesbians" by an unnamed author (The National Spotlite). This is very much in the spirit of "Wild Gals in Prison," albeit with younger characters. Eddie explains, "The girls in jail idea seems to rank highest for the reporters of lesbian activities." He promises that male readers will "go ape" over this article.

• "A Thousand and One Nights" by an unnamed author (The National Spotlite). It seems to be a prequel to the aforementioned "I, a Lesbian." Together, Ed says, the articles form "a running account of lesbian life." Perhaps there are other articles in this series.

• In addition to the publications already named, Eddie mentions The National Close-Up but does not cite any particular articles from it. He also describes ads for a book called The Sensuous Lesbian and an 8mm movie called Women Who Love Women. I cannot confirm the existence of either of these, but I fully believe that Ed saw ads for both of them.

Apart from all this second-hand material, does Ed Wood have anything original to contribute to "The Strange Fascination of Lesbianism"? Eh, sort of. He acknowledges that many of the books and articles about lesbians are actually written by and for men. This is a strange admission, considering he's using his "Ann Gora" pseudonym for this one, presumably to make readers think he's really a woman. It seems like he started with this basic premise (men sure do like lesbians) and then cribbed as much as he could from the tabloids. Then, at the end, he indulges in some typical Wood-ian philosophizing:

The male is also a rather strange specie. Let another male do something out of line and he is shunned. But it is seldom that the little lady can do anything which does not give the male some sort of pleasure. And when that something is sexually oriented the male is all eyes, and all ears . . . and all emotionally, physically and sexually excited. There is no doubt that the lesbian world will continue to be spelled out in many male publications.

Ah, snips and snails and puppy dog tails.

Next: "Did You Ever Know?" (1973)