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| Reminds me of The Morton Downey, Jr. Show. (Illustration from Switch Hitters) |
NOTE: This article continues my coverage of Ed Wood's When the Topic is Sex (BearManor Media, 2021).
The article: "Let's Talk About It!" Originally published in Switch Hitters (Calga Publishing), vol. 3, no. 3, November/December 1972. Credited to "Dick Trent."
Excerpt: "Unisex has made it rather difficult to tell the girls from the boys at times. Then why must it be so different in their sex lives. Does a transvestite dressed in the clothing of a girl as he goes down on a girl make him a lesbian? Of course not; no more than it does a girl going down on her husband for oral intercourse make her some form of a homosexual or a freak which she might have been thought to be so short a time ago."
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| Ed Wood was like a filthy Cliff Clavin. |
Reflections: In late 1972, possibly the most prolific year of his life, Ed Wood wrote an article for Switch Hitters called "Let's Talk About It!" But what was the "it" about which Ed was talking? Uh, that's tough to say. I mean, at the most basic level, this article is about the importance of discussing our problems, especially those of a sexual nature, openly and honestly with each other. As Eddie reminds us, "It's never any good for anyone to keep everything walled up inside of them."
At first, it seems like the rest of the article is going to build on this strong central idea. But, really, "Let's Talk About It!" is one of Ed Wood's disjointed, rambling essays about nothing in particular. He's like some drunk at the end of the bar pontificating woozily about whatever comes into his mind, regardless of whether it makes any sense. He's a smutty Cliff Clavin, in other words.
In a way, this article was a stroll down memory lane because it contains some of the ideas that kept turning up over and over at the beginning of When the Topic is Sex. Eddie tells us once again, for instance, that the missionary position used to be the only acceptable sex position in previous generations but that today's young people are more daring and experimental in the bedroom than their parents and grandparents. As Ed explains:
But then came along the modern generation. They are no longer satisfied with small dishes of the sex food. They have a hearty and healthy appetite which is not going to be tossed away with simple words.
Did you notice that phrase, "small dishes of the sex food"? That's typical of the strained metaphors and similes found throughout "Let's Talk About It!" Ed Wood tells us that people are like steam engines and will split their sides if they don't vent their frustration occasionally. Many parents, meanwhile, are like ostriches with their heads in the sand when it comes to talking about sex with their children. And then, Ed tells us that a single person's voice can be lost "in a big wind," but when an entire generation speaks, "it will not be lost in any manner of wind, hurricane or tornado." I'm not exactly sure what the "wind" is supposed to represent in this metaphor.
More recycled ideas: Housewives are having lesbian affairs while their husbands and children are out. Suburbanites in general are engaging in orgies with their friends and neighbors. (More fun than the weekly bridge game!) Oral sex is normal and healthy and doesn't necessarily mean you're gay. Information about sex used to be known only to doctors and scientists, but today it's out in the open. Books about sex are no longer hidden in the basements beneath libraries but are now available to the general public. Eddie comes back to this "library" idea time and again in his articles. I'm not sure where it comes from. Maybe, when he was growing up in Poughkeepsie, he imagined the Adriance Memorial Library on Market St. had some secret, forbidden storehouse of sex books hidden in its musty catacombs.
Next: "Youthful Boobs" (1972)