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| Today, Ed gives us his thoughts on rock musicians and groupies. (Illustration from Switch Hitters) |
NOTE: This article continues my coverage of Ed Wood's When the Topic is Sex (BearManor Media, 2021).
The article: "Sex and the Twisted Beat." Originally published in Switch Hitters (Calga Publishing), vol. 2, no. 2, June/July 1971.
Excerpt: "Facts being facts, most of the musical groups like the idea of all the free sex they want, not to mention all the other goodies the girls offer . . . such as narcotics along with sex. Men on the road, actors, musicians, and the like are frequently lonely men and the sight of such usually pretty girls is bound to turn them on. When sex is placed right there in front of them, there are few emotionally strong enough to refuse. However, the more in the lime-light they happen to be, the larger the supply of lovelies becomes."
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| Rock groupie Cynthia Plaster Caster |
Reflections: Ed Wood had no particular understanding of rock music or youth culture in general, but his job occasionally required him to write about these subjects anyway. In 1971, for instance, he penned an article for Switch Hitters called "Sex and the Twisted Beat" about the so-called groupie scene. The author's near-total ignorance of the subject is reflected in the fact that he fails to name even one rock musician or rock song, though he claims that rock lyrics are becoming more sexually explicit. Eddie may not have been able to tell Vanilla Fudge from Iron Butterfly, but he knew that rock stars were having lots of anonymous sex with their female fans, and he figured that merited an article for other horny middle-aged men like himself.
In truth, women have been following popular musicians since time immemorial—Eddie specifically mentions Frank Sinatra's ardent fans in the 1930s and '40s—but the term "groupie" didn't enter into the language until the mid-1960s. And by then, it was rock musicians, not jazz singers, who were attracting the most attention from love-starved young ladies. Ed seems to think that the word "groupie" refers to women who want to have sex with an entire rock group rather than just the lead singer. Whatever the origin of the word, Ed describes their methodology:
It is a tremendously competitive situation. The girls will bribe managers or advance publicity men, even the hotel workers. It is nothing to find them climbing fire escapes, for there is little that will keep them from their intended purpose. The more of their heroes they can attest to having "bedded", the more in esteem the girls are held by those of lesser accomplishments.
It's interesting that, in his script for The Beach Bunnies (1976), Ed has the character Elaine (Brenda Fogarty), a magazine editor, go to similar lengths to meet the movie star Rock Sanders (Marland Proctor). Now I wonder if the seed for that idea started with this article.
Anyway, as I was reading "Sex and the Twisted Beat" and its tales of sexual debauchery on the road, I started thinking about the notorious "plaster casters," the late '60s/early '70s groupies who would make plaster molds of rock stars' penises. And then a miracle occurred: Ed Wood devoted the last third of the article to the plaster casters! I was flabbergasted. It was like Eddie was reading my mind! Even after reviewing 70+ articles from When the Topic is Sex, nothing like that had ever happened before. The timing here is bizarre, since groupie Cynthia Albritton (aka Cynthia Plaster Caster) stopped making her molds circa 1971, the very same year this article went to press.
Despite or perhaps because of Ed Wood's total lack of familiarity with rock music, "Sex and the Twisted Beat" is one of the most enjoyable articles in When the Topic is Sex. Eddie is once again in "no research" mode, although he does correctly identify Cynthia Plaster Caster as being from Chicago. Ed was really loopy when he wrote this one. My favorite passage is when he starts talking about how "the kids" are experimenting with sex:
People certainly learn quicker if they understand what they are being told. One can put a lot of jelly on the bread but the bread is still there. So what is it called if the jelly isn't there? That's how the kids apparently see the whole sphere of things in this, the modern age of sexual revolution. Sexual revolutions have been plotted and attempted many times before in history but they have seldom gained such a foothold as they have at this time.
Do me a favor and read that passage out loud. Really put some feeling into the line, "One can put a lot of jelly on the bread but the bread is still there. So what is it called if the jelly isn't there?" That's like Ed Wood's version of a Zen koan.
Next: "The Changing Woman" (1971)