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| Two great tastes that go great together. (Illustration by Aubrey Beardsley) |
NOTE: This article continues my coverage of Ed Wood's When the Topic is Sex (BearManor Media, 2021).
The article: "Satyriasis and Prostitution." Listed on Ed Wood's resume as simply "Satyriasis." Originally published in Swap (Pendulum Publishing), vol. 5, no. 3, July/August 1971. No author credited.
Excerpt: "Many satyr homosexuals today still have generous feelings toward some kind of duty in the armed forces. The attitude might be an honest lure for the glory of battle or the pride of wearing the uniform. But there is also the fact the services can supply an endless source of males for the satyr diet."
Reflections: I'm pretty sure I first heard the term "satyriasis" in the movie The Big Lebowski (1998). There, it is uttered by pretentious conceptual artist Maude Lebowski (Julianne Moore), who is complaining to The Dude (Jeff Bridges) about her drug-addicted porn star stepmother Bunny (Tara Reid):
It's a male myth about feminists that we hate sex. It can be a natural, zesty enterprise. But unfortunately there are some people—it is called satyriasis in men, nymphomania in women—who engage in it compulsively and without joy.
I think that's a pretty decent definition: "compulsively and without joy." Well, it turns out that, in 1971, Ed Wood wrote an entire article about satyriasis for the orgy-themed magazine Swap. "Satyriasis and Prostitution" is actually one of the longer pieces included in When the Topic is Sex, largely because Ed has a lot to say about the two titular subjects and seems determined to say just about all of it.
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| This is Messalina, not John Belushi in drag. |
First and foremost, this article is about the career path of the typical male prostitute. Eddie is utterly obsessed with the caste systems or hierarchies that govern both stripping and hooking. He likes to write about how, in either of these professions, people tend to move down the ladder as they get older and less desirable. In the case of the young, handsome male hustler, the goal is to be a "call boy" catering to wealthy customers. After that, you move down to working in brothels, then working on the streets. Once even that becomes untenable, you must cater to the "rough trade" at "beer bars," those most-hated establishments in the Wood canon. Is there a step lower than beer bars? Yes. Skid row.
What keeps the male prostitute going through all these circles of sexual hell? A few things. The first factor, as you should know from the title of the article, is his insatiable, incurable addiction to sex. But Ed Wood adds that the typical male hooker probably has some kind of substance abuse problem as well. Eddie explains all this in his usual, byzantine way:
Thus, when the street has accepted him again, he has two monkies on his back . . . his insatiable urge for sex and the addiction to narcotics and alcohol. He has to come up with the cash to support either of the habits. However, it must be understood that most narcotic addicts do not take to alcohol. But, for this article we have combined the two as one for easier diagnosis. Either one can be just as demanding according to the subject's own physical acceptance or rejections. And either one can be just as expensive . . . the narcotics, of course, will probably be the more costly of the two. And with the pushers always under the eyes of the law, they are forever raising the price.
At this point, there can be little doubt that Ed Wood is really writing about himself and the decline of his own career from the 1950s to the 1970s, largely due to his alcohol addiction. Notice that Eddie does a little rationalizing, even here. Alcohol is at least legal and therefore more affordable than drugs, so he's chosen the more sensible of the two addictions.
But Ed does not limit himself to the topic of male hookers in "Satyriasis and Prostitution." He's got a lot on his mind this time, maybe too much more. For a few paragraphs, he starts discussing famous women and men from history who were either bisexual or homosexual. What does that have to do with the rest of the article? I think the point is that these historical figures (Cleopatra, Shakespeare, Alexander the Great) were also sex addicts. The reason I say that is because Ed's list includes Messalina (20 AD - 40 AD), wife of the Roman emperor Claudius. Apparently, Messalina's name has become synonymous with promiscuity.
And "Satyriasis and Prostitution" is still not done! Ed shifts gears again and starts talking about homosexuality in the US military. At the time of this article, openly gay men and women could not serve in the armed forces. That change was still decades away. Eddie writes, perhaps with compassion, about gays being court martialed and then dishonorably discharged from the service. He describes this as process "a terror, a nightmare to the offender's future." He also adds that homosexual acts are illegal in 48 of our 50 states, which is a sobering thought.
So "Satyriasis and Prostitution" is very much a sampler platter of ideas and topics related to homosexuality, sex addiction, and prostitution. Does Ed Wood bring it all back home with one final thought that sums it all up? You bet:
There is no easing the satyr's position. For a time he may have a swinging life, but as age creeps up on him, and masturbation is no longer of any true satisfaction, the swinging life becomes intolerable because he finds himself swinging alone.
Kind of a depressing message for the readers of Swap, but there you have it.
Next: "Let's Talk About It" (1972)