Sunday, October 23, 2011

(today's zomby) AND MY UNIFIED THEORY OF TIM ROBBINS' HAIR!

Is good ol' Zom an Uncle Tom?


He certainly seems to be appeasing his human oppressors by mimicking their behavior, dress, love of iced tea, etc. Oh, well. By selling out, Zomby is in good company. Tom Lehrer will kindly elaborate:



But enough of that! Citizens, I have a theory (which is mine) about Tim Robbins' hair. I call it... get this...


THE UNIFIED THEORY OF TIM ROBBINS' HAIR!

Catchy name, no? So what's this theory of mine? Well, the gist of it is that actor Tim Robbins has two basic modes:

MODE A: Amiable doofus
MODE B: Arrogant jerk


The easiest way to tell whether Mr. Robbins is operating in Mode A or Mode B is by -- you guessed it -- his hair! If Tim has floppy hair, he's in Mode A. If he has slicked-back hair, he's in Mode B. Just look at this handy comparison chart:


In fact, one could say that the trustworthiness of a Tim Robbins character is entirely dependent upon the actor's follicles. The more he lets his hair flop around, the more you can trust him. In The Hudsucker Proxy, it is entirely possible to trace his character's moral progression through his hairstyle. Observe...


Which of these men do you trust? If you said the one on the right, you haven't been paying attention.

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